


Heaven's Just a Sin Away

by FallenAngel69



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mild Angst, Multi, Priest Kink, Rimming, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2019-11-28 01:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 66,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18201917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngel69/pseuds/FallenAngel69
Summary: You spend a Saturday at a friend's family reunion, wind up meeting the hottest guy you've ever laid eyes on, and possibly the love of your life. The only problem is, he and his best friend are on the journey to becoming priests...





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a test. I've not written fanfic in ages, and I don't usually post to ao3. This just came out of nowhere for me, and I can't stop. I want to know if it is worth continuing though. 
> 
> The tags may change as the chapters progress, but these are the main ones. I think.
> 
> Also, comments are loved and appreciated!

An annoyed groan escapes through your lips as you look at your reflection in the full-size mirror that hangs on the back of your bedroom door. You’ve already managed to go through half of your closet looking for something decent to wear. Your best friend has invited you to a get-together… Well, it’s more of a family reunion, but she doesn’t want to attend it alone, because she is already feeling like the black sheep of the family as it is. Her immediate family really can be insufferable at times, so you can only imagine what the extended family is like. Honestly, you don’t really want to go either, but you love Katrina and will always try your best to be there for her no matter how much you hate the task at hand.

You finally settle on a mint-green, button-down blouse and a cute, flowery, white skirt that falls to mid-thigh. Examining your reflection for a few moments more, you shrug and turn toward the closet once more in search of your favorite white, strappy sandals; the ones with the chunky heels. Even if you’re not enthusiastic about going, you at least want to look nice. You just never know who might be there; or who might be judging you.

Once you arrive at the reunion, which is being held at Katrina’s parents’ home, you find Katrina sitting on the front steps of the large country home. It’s a beautiful place. It’s old, but kept in tip-top shape. The porch wraps all the way around the two-story farmhouse, providing a lot of space for company. There is a fresh coat of paint on the porch as well as on the black shutters which are a stark contrast to the white of the house’s vinyl siding. You wonder if it needed the facelift or if they did all that work just in preparation for the reunion.

Katrina gets up to meet you, immediately thanking you for coming to her rescue. “No problem, hon. Got me off my couch for the first Saturday in a month,” you explain. You aren’t really that lazy. It’s just that since your break-up with the guy that was supposed to be the love of your life, you weren’t all that sociable or motivated.

After being led to the back yard and introduced to a few people on the way, you grab a drink and start to mingle with some people that you know. At least you attempt it. After about fifteen minutes, Katrina decides that it’s time to become a wallflower. You only shake your head at her unwillingness to be a social butterfly at her own family reunion and follow her towards the back side of the porch in search of a place to plant yourselves.

As you reach the top of the steps, one of the obnoxious children that had been running wild, flies by you, bumping right into you without a care. You gasp in fear as you lose your balance and begin stumbling backwards down the steps. Luckily for you, a strong arm reaches out to catch you before you fall. While the stranger politely helps you steady yourself, you look up to see exactly who your knight in shining armor is, and you are startled by what you see; only the most beautiful blue eyes you could even imagine.

“Are you ok?” He asks; his voice as smooth as velvet but filled with concern as he pulls his hand away from your waist.

“Uh…Yeah,” you finally manage. “Thank you.”

He smiles; his perfect, white teeth and full lips framed by a neatly trimmed beard of chestnut brown. “No problem,” he assures you as he starts on up the steps where he’d been heading to begin with. “Be careful. These kids are out of control.”

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Holy fuck that guy is gorgeous. You lean against the hand-rail for a moment, getting reoriented and admiring a perfectly sculpted ass in blue jeans as he walks away from you. Suddenly, you’re very glad you came.

The sound of Katrina’s voice saying your name draws your attention back towards the top of the steps where she’s standing. “Where did you go? One minute you’re behind me and the next I’m talking to myself.”

“Sorry,” you say. “Some punk kid nearly caused me to fall down the steps. Just needed a second to calm my nerves.”

“Oh shit. Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s ok. I’m fine,” you say as you begin up the steps again. The two of you find a wicker sofa along the side wall of the house and decide to take up residency there for a while. You immediately sit down, but Katrina leaves to go get you both another drink. While she’s gone, you seize the opportunity to look around for your handsome savior. You spot him in the corner, leaning against the porch rail, looking out over the yard full of people while he speaks with a taller, blonde guy.

You can’t help but stare. He’s without a doubt, the prettiest, sexiest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes upon. You take a moment to really look him over. He’s tall and muscular. His arms are defined through the tight sleeves of the over-shirt he’s wearing; it clings to his biceps, showing off each hard mass of muscle. No wonder he caught you so effortlessly with just one arm. You bite your lip, letting your eyes wander further down his frame. You pause momentarily to appreciate, once again, the swell and curve of his ass. A sigh leaves your lips as your eyes rake over his thighs. Wow. They look deliciously thick. You begin to chew on your bottom lip, thinking about what it might be like to sit astride them.

As if he feels your eyes on him, he turns his head, looking your way. You’ve been caught blatantly staring, but he barely reacts; only a faint smile forms on his lips when he sees you. His blue eyes are smoldering though. You squirm a bit, feeling a familiar stir that has you crossing your legs, not caring at all when your skirt rides up the back side of your thigh. In fact, you hope he enjoys the view.

You’re disappointed when Katrina chooses that exact moment to return, handing you an ice-cold lemonade. When you look back towards the mystery man, he’s no longer looking your way and his attention has returned to the blonde and their conversation.

With a frustrated sigh, you grab the straw that’s in your glass, swirling it around for a second before bringing it to your lips. Katrina is talking, but you have no idea what she’s saying. Your mind is in a completely different realm at the moment, and your attention has locked-in on the dark-haired man standing at the far end of the porch. “So, who’s the guy over there talking to the blonde? The one with the long-sleeve shirt.”

Katrina stops speaking mid-sentence to turn her eyes in the direction in which your eyes are trained. “Oh. That’s my cousin, Bucky,” she replies with a grin, obviously aware of the way you’re ogling him. “He’s home for the summer; from seminary.”

You sit up straight, nearly choking on the drink you just took. “From where?” You ask with a slight screech in your voice.

“He’s planning to become a priest.”

You feel your cheeks burning with utter embarrassment. “Please tell me that you’re just messing with me.”

“No. I’m not. I swear. He’s almost done.”

“I’m going to hell,” you whisper. A priest is not allowed to look that damn good. Even if he technically isn’t one yet, it’s all the same to you now.

Katrina giggles at your plight. “Probably. But at least I’ll be right there with you. You see the guy he’s chatting with is his best friend, Steve. I’ve had a crush on him since I can’t even remember. The things I want to do to him.”

“How does that compare to me having dirty thoughts about a man of the cloth. He’s about to be married to the church, for Heaven’s sake!”

“Those two are in this thing together,” Katrina explains with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure that Steve is the one that talked Buck into this in the first place. Always has been a righteous soul. So, see, right there with ya.”

“Why would someone so young and so…hot, want to enter into a life of celibacy.”

Katrina shrugs as if she’d never really given it much thought. “Well, I think Steve is just a goody-two shoe, but Bucky… Bucky had struggles. I think this has somehow been good for him.”

“Struggles?”

“Yeah. When he was barely twenty, he had a horrific motorcycle accident. Cost him his left arm. He went through depression and PTSD for a long time. Steve got him help though his church and one thing led to another; then bam! One day he came home and announced his plans to join the priesthood.”  

 You stare at your best friend in horror. “Accident? His arm?”

“Yeah. He has a prosthetic.”

“I guess that would explain why he’s wearing long-sleeves in the summer.”

“Yeah. He doesn’t like to show it off. It’s pretty cool, really. All teched out and stuff. Other than being metal, it’s rather life-like.”

You turn your gaze back to the guy you now know as Bucky. Tilting your head to the side, you wonder how you missed his arm. It was a no-brainer, really. You had been too busy admiring everything else about him to notice that tiny imperfection.

“Come on.” Katrina stands up, grabbing your hand as she does. “I’ll introduce you.”

You hesitate, thinking that is a terrible idea. You already hate yourself enough, there’s no need to make it worse. But the look Katrina is giving you says that you don’t have an option. Reluctantly, you stand and follow her.

By the time you reach the two men, your heart is racing. You don’t know if it’s because just the sight of Bucky is making your blood boil or because of the humiliation you feel because he caught you staring moments ago; never mind the fact that you’d nearly flashed him.

“Hey guys!” Katrina says as she approaches.

“Katrina!” Bucky turns to her with a smile as he moves to hug her. “How’s my favorite cousin.”

“I’m great. I didn’t think you guys were gonna be here until later.”

“We got in earlier than planned,” Bucky explained.

“I’m glad! It’s nice to finally see you both. It’s been too long,” she whines dramatically, eyeing Steve.

“It’s nice to see you too, squirt,” Steve says with just a hint of playfulness in his voice.

She glares at him. “Are you ever going to stop calling me that?”

He shrugs, grinning as he says, “Probably not.”

You watch them interacting, waiting patiently for Katrina to remember you’re still there. However, before she does, Bucky is turning his attention your way.

“Hello, again,” he says with a gentle smile. “You haven’t been shoved down any more steps, have you?”

You feel a blush creeping into your cheeks, and you try your damnedest to ignore the slight flutter in your belly. He’s not flirting with you! “Uh, no…not in the last thirty minutes, at least,” you reply with a smile before introducing yourself to him.

He nods, reaching out to shake your hand. “I’m Bucky. It’s nice to have a name to go with your face. Much better than thinking of you as the woman from the steps.”

You swallow thickly as his hand grips yours. It’s nothing but a simple handshake, but his touch is sending sparks through your whole body. “I guess it is,” you manage to say as you withdraw your hand just in time for Katrina to remember why you both walked over there in the first place.

Noticing that you and Bucky have already become acquainted, she quickly introduces you to Steve. Steve is tall and masculine much like Bucky. It makes you wonder if they work out together. His blue eyes sparkle as he speaks kindly to you. He’s very attractive, you realize. Not in the same way as Bucky though. Steve, you think, you wouldn’t mind cuddling on the couch with, and you could envision kissing those plump lips until you were both breathless. But Bucky? Bucky you want to ravage. You could totally see yourself ripping at his clothes, clawing and biting at that perfectly bronzed skin as you let him have his way with you.

“Hey,” Katrina nudges you. “We will be right back. I’m going to take Steve to meet the newest addition to the farm. He loves dogs.”

You nod, hoping no one noticed you zone out for a moment or two. You turn to Bucky as they walk away. “You don’t want to meet the new puppy?”

He shrugs, leaning back against the rail and for the first time, you actually notice his prosthetic hand. It looks amazingly like a real hand sticking out from his sleeve; other than the fact that it’s metallic black anyway.  You try not to stare and avert your attention back to him as he replies. “Nah. I got the feeling that Katrina doesn’t want either of us to follow. I’ll give her the alone-time with Steve.”

You furrow your brow, wondering if he knows about Katrina’s crush. You don’t have to wait long to find out because he continues talking.

“I kinda feel bad for her; wanting something she can never have.”

You sigh, understanding that he’s making a point, loud and clear. “She mentioned you two were at seminary.”

He nods, shoving his hands into his jeans’ pockets.

“What’s it like?”

“Seminary?”

“Yeah. I mean all of it. How do you manage to stay on the straight and narrow all the time?”

“Discipline,” he replied. “Being serious about your commitment. Faith… Of course, it’s not always so easy.”

You lift a brow, curious about what he might mean, but you don’t ask.

“Sometimes it’s downright hard,” he admits, as he looks down while raking his right hand through his short, tousled locks.

“Is it worth it?” You ask, somewhat surprised by your own question. Having grown up in a home where people take religion pretty seriously, you know the answer to that without question. And to question it is morally wrong.

“Of course,” he answers immediately.

“I’m sorry. That was inappropriate to ask.”

“Not at all,” he insists. “It’s a valid question. One that I’ve asked myself in the past, even.”

You look at him, your eyes meet his for a short moment. You see conflict. He’s struggling with something, and you feel extremely dirty for the thoughts running through your mind. “You uh, you don’t look like a priest,” you tell him.

He grins. “How is a priest supposed to look?”

“I don’t know. Black clothes? White collar?”

He chuckles heartily and you decide that you love the sound of his laugh… his voice. You bite your lower lip to keep a whimper at bay as he continues. “Well, not all the time. It comes with the package though.”

Fuck. Your mouth goes dry as you imagine him dressed in such clothes. Yep. You’re going to hell. “What about the beard? Is that even allowed?’

Automatically, he raises his hand to his face and runs his fingers through his well-groomed whiskers as he thinks of a response. “Actually, it’s not frowned up on. Which is really weird, because I had to cut my hair.”

Your interest is piqued once more as you try to imagine him with longer hair. “How long was your hair?”

“Ehh,” he indicates along his neck, just below his jaw line. “About here. Maybe a bit longer.”

“Nice,” you say, in lieu of the word that was really floating around in your brain. That would be totally inappropriate to say to him.

“What about you?” He asks suddenly.

“What about me?” You counter.

“Who are you? I mean, I know your name, obviously; but unlike you, I didn’t get a crash course in all things ‘you’ from Katrina.

You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips. He seems amused, and that definitely helps ease the nerves you feel. “Katrina didn’t tell me that much about you.”

“Well she told me nothing about you,” he insisted.

“Your argument is valid Mr.…” You furrow your brow once again as you realize you’re missing an important piece of information.

“Barnes,” he provides.

“Hmm,” you toss that around in your head for a moment, prefacing it with different titles. “Father Barnes,” you conclude.  “That has a nice ring to it.”

Bucky laughs again. “Hold on, now, doll. Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m not ordained quite yet.”

“But I like the way it sounds,” you tease, trying not to let the way he just called you ‘doll’ affect you. “Father Barnes,” you repeat again, letting it roll breathily off your tongue. You feel a little bit proud of yourself, and even a little bit smug, when you notice his eyes darken and he’s almost glaring at you. Ultimately, you decide not to press your luck. You are actually just enjoying being in his presence, and you don’t really want it to end badly. Time to act more like a lady. “What would you like to know?”

He let out a breath, almost like he’d been holding it. “What do you do for a living?”

You join him at the rail, maybe small talk is best anyway. Looking out over the crowded yard, you lean in, resting your arms on the rail. Bucky turns around too, mimicking your stance. “I work for a local newspaper.”

“Journalist?”

“Journalist, editor, photographer, coffee maker… Whatever they need me to do, really. It’s a smalltime paper.”

“Must be fun to do different things,” he says it as if he’s actually interested in your life.

You smile thinking about your job. You really do love it. The fact that it’s a small business is what makes it real. “It is. I like not knowing what the day will have in store for me.”

“Just living in the moment, then?”

You turn your head to see him looking at you, waiting for an answer. He really is gorgeous. His is face like a piece of art, so beautiful and so…you sigh before you allow yourself to finish your thought. “Yeah. Just living in the moment.”

Katrina and Steve return a while later, interrupting the conversation you’re still having with Bucky about your work. You don’t know why you find it so surprising that he is, without a doubt, the easiest person to talk to. You feel like you could literally tell him anything—Not that you would tell him everything. Especially not like how the whole time you’ve been with him, you’ve been undressing him with your eyes and thinking of ways you could corrupt him. But then again, maybe he already has a good idea. You hadn’t exactly acted like the girl-next-door earlier.

“Guys, Mom said they’re about ready to eat,” Katrina informs before looking at you. “We should probably go get in line so we can a spot at a picnic table.”

You nod, pushing up from the rail you’d been leaning on. You glance once more at Bucky and Steve as a thought crosses your mind. “Will you be joining us?”

Bucky and Steve exchange glances and Bucky turns to you with a nod. “Sure.”

“Uh, why don’t you ladies save us a seat,” Steve asks. “We’ll be there in a few minutes. Bucky, where’s the bathroom around here?”

With a curt nod, Katrina grabs your arm and leads you toward the steps.

“Hey!” You hear Bucky say your name, so you turn to see what he wants. He grins. “Watch the steps.”

If it would have been anyone else, you would have flipped them off, but not Bucky. You only smile and walk away, feeling weirdly giddy.

As you and Katrina find a table, you slide onto the bench, setting your plate down in front of you, and Katrina slips in on the opposite side. Both of you make sure to leave enough space for Bucky and Steve when they get there. “So, Bucky is nice,” you tell her.

Katrina rolls her eyes. “Did you expect him not to be? Hello! Priest are generally friendly and kind people.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” you sulk. “How did the puppy introduction go?”

“Fine. I’ve determined that Rascal likes Steve more than me.”

“How long have you known Steve?”

“Since I was about five,” Katrina replies. “And no, I didn’t always have a thing.”

“Does he suspect you have a thing for him?”

“Of course, he does. I told him years ago, before seminary, that I’d like to fuck his brains out.”

“What?” You ask in shock. “How did he react?”

“He turned fifty shades of red,” Katrina shared with a laugh. “He also knows that my feelings for him go no further than physical, so I guess I’m glad he stuck with his values instead of letting me.”

“Oh… I didn’t realize. When you said you had a crush on him, I thought you meant that you really liked him.”

“I do,” Katrina explains. “But not in the ‘I love him and want to marry him’ sort of way.”

“Does Bucky know that?”

“I’m sure he does. They tell each other everything. They’re like joined at the hip. Like right now? They’re probably having a serious chat of some kind. Steve has been around long enough to know where the damn bathroom is.” She flails about, explaining everything to you as much as she can. “Anyway, I think if anything had ever happened between us, it would have been really weird for him because he, unfortunately, looks at me like a little sister. Which is annoying as fuck considering how hot he got.”

You smile, amused by your best friend’s confessions, but also admiring Steve and Bucky’s companionship. “How long have they been friends?”

“Since elementary school.” Katrina looks up at you while spreading ketchup on her hamburger. “I sense that you really like my cousin.”

“What’s not to like?” You ask, trying to sound as innocent as you possibly can.

“Celibacy, for starters,” she reminds you.

“Damn that word,” you grumble.

Katrina chuckles. “Maybe you would have better luck with Bucky than I did with Steve.”

“Are you suggesting that I try to corrupt your cousin?” You glance over to the food table to see if they’re though the line yet. They’re both already heading towards your table, and you really don’t want them to overhear your conversation, so you warn, “Incoming.”

“It’s just food for thought,” Katrina finishes with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.

Food for thought, in deed, but it felt really wrong to ever consider actually trying to make him falter. What kind of person would you be?

“Ya know,” Steve says as he sits down next to Katrina. “I always thought the point of a family reunion was to converse with family. So far you two have not really done that.” He sits, eying both Bucky and Katrina.

“We’re family,” Bucky defends, pointing to himself and his cousin.

“Besides, Steve,” Katrina adds, “you’ve met everyone in our family. Do you really blame us?”

He smirks. “No, not really. But it does seem a bit rude.”

“I kind of agree,” you chime in, smiling at Steve from across the table. “Totally rude.”

Bucky points to the empty space on both sides of the table. “There’s plenty of room for people to join us. When they do, we’ll converse with family.”

You watch as Bucky picks up the burger that he’s stuffed full of lettuce, tomato, and pickles. He holds it delicately with both hands, pausing for a moment to look between you and Katrina. “So how long have you two known each other? I know I haven’t been around much in the last ten years, but I think I would have remembered you,” he says.

You positively can’t stop the blush you feel creeping into your cheeks. Since when do you get flustered so easily? “We’ve known each other for about nine years,” you tell him. It wasn’t really odd that the two of you had never met, but you’re really bummed that you hadn’t before he decided to go off and become a saint. You feel like you could have had some fun with him.

The conversation at your table goes easily between the four of you for a while, and then more people join you. At some point, you zone out, focusing on your food and trying not to notice the man who is suddenly squished up against you because so many people have crowded in around you both. But it’s impossible. You feel Bucky’s right arm brush against your left arm, and his thigh is also pressed against your thigh. You can feel the warmth radiating off his body, burning into yours. He’s so close. Your fingers are itching to move from your own lap to his, just to feel how hard his muscles really are. His jeans hug his legs so perfectly.

“You ok?” You hear him ask in a whisper as he nudges you gently.

Looking up from your plate where you had been staring, you see that he’s looking at you while the rest of the table is lost in conversation. “Yeah,” you reply. “I’m fine, why?”

“You just looked like you might be lost in your own head there for a minute.” His lips then curve up into a half-smile and he nods towards the plate in front of you, “and I think that poor piece of pie is smooshed up enough that a baby could eat it.”

It was true, you had practically obliterated your slice of apple pie. You snicker softly. “Yeah, I guess I was lost in my own head there for a bit.”

“Anything I can help you with?” He asks, his voice still low so that only you can hear him. “You know, I’m a real good listener.”

You smile, appreciating his sincere offer, but you know if he had any idea what kind of scenarios you were creating in your mind, he would run away screaming. “Thank you, but I’m ok.”

“Would you like another piece of pie, then?” He asks, and you immediately shake your head. “You sure? Cause I’m going to get myself another piece and I can grab one for you too.”

“I’m good. Thanks,” you answer politely, your eyes finally drifting up to meet his blue ones which were filled with genuine concern. It makes your heart both soar and ache at the same time.

“Ok, doll. Don’t say I didn’t offer though,” he says as he moves, trying not to bump into anyone as he gracefully gets up from his seat on the bench.

“Jesus…” you breathe quietly. Where does he get off calling you “doll” like that? And his voice? If you didn’t know better, you would think he dropped it that low just to tease you. You glance across the table at Katrina, wondering if she even noticed the exchange. She hadn’t. She’s busy laughing with Steve over something that someone on their side of the table had said. For some reason, you are thankful for that.

Bucky isn’t gone long. He returns and just as gracefully as he’d left, he slides back into the space between you and the older lady on his left. You glance over at the slice of pie that he set down in front of him. It’s not apple. You lift your brow for a second in contemplation before picking up your fork and reaching in front of him. You cut off a bite while he watches you in mock disbelief, both his hands resting on the table on either side of his pie.

“Hey,” he protests. “I thought you didn’t want any more pie.”

You wink at him as you open your lips over your fork full of pie. You carefully slide the fork from your mouth moaning slightly at it’s deliciousness. He’s staring at you, his lips slightly parted. You wonder what he’s thinking, but you only smile mischievously as you swallow the soft pastry. “You didn’t say anything about chocolate pie.”

He smirks, laughter shining bright in his eyes. “You’re terrible.”

“Thank you,” you reply as you put your fork back down on your own plate.

“Do you want anymore? I’m not above sharing.”

You have to bite your tongue at that comment, because you had just glanced across the table at Steve, and a whole knew fantasy formed in your brain with those words rolling off of Bucky Barnes’ lips. Finally, you shake your head, letting him know that you don’t want any more of his pie.

The rest of the evening is pretty uneventful. You and Katrina leave Steve and Bucky shortly after eating, and you mingle some more with her family before joining a game of volleyball. It is a good thing that you put some space between you, because what was happening between you and Bucky felt a lot like flirting and that would be a huge mistake; for both of you.

As people start to leave, you decide that you should be heading out as well. You tell Katrina that you’re getting ready to go, and she insists on finding Bucky and Steve so they can say goodbye to you.

You find them inside. They’re in the living room with Bucky’s and Katrina’s grandmother, Betts. You stand at the door, waiting for one of them to notice you. Bucky does almost immediately. “Hey,” he greeted with a pleasant smile.

“Hey,” you reply with a wave. “I’m getting ready to head home, but I wanted to say goodbye first.”

Their grandmother waved you over as she did every time you ever visited. “Thank you for coming, sweetheart. I hope you had fun.”

“I did! Thank you for having me, Grams,” you say as you lean in to hug her.

Steve is sitting nearby, so when you stand back up from hugging her, you smile at him. “It was really nice meeting you Steve. I hope we get to hang out again before summer is over.”

“It was nice meeting you too. I’m sure we will have plenty of time to hang out this summer. I’m kinda looking forward to my last actual summer before the real job starts,” he explains with a cheeky smile. I hope you have a safe trip home.”

You then turn around to where Bucky is now standing. He is smiling, and you can see something akin to mischief in his eyes. It worries you a little bit. “Buck,” you say, shortening his name like you’ve known him forever. It almost feels like you have.

“I have something for you,” he informs, “but it’s in the kitchen. Come,” he demands as he turns towards the kitchen.

You glance at Steve somewhat nervously, but he only shrugs his shoulders and throws his hands up in a firm “I don’t know” motion. Eventually you head to the kitchen, saying one last goodbye to Steve and Grandma Betts.

Bucky is bent over digging in the refrigerator when you get to the kitchen. Your eyes widen slightly at the sight in front of you. Damn that man’s ass is fine. You really just wanna grab it…or spank it. You’re pretty sure either would be just as satisfying. You know you should probably feel bad for having such thoughts, but that one was so much tamer than the ones you’d been having all day.

Finally, he stands up, grinning triumphantly as he holds a small container in his hand. “This is for you,” he says, reaching it towards you. “It’s a piece of chocolate pie,” he continues to explain once he sees the confused look on your face.

You smile, taking the gifted container from him. “Aww, Bucky! My own piece of chocolate pie! You shouldn’t have.”

“Oh, it was no problem. I hope you don’t mind, I took a bite out of it, just to compensate. Ya know?”

You purse your lips, knowing that the only comeback you have is completely inappropriate, so you simply shake your head at him. “See you around…,” you say with a mischievous smirk as you walk by him, brushing close. “Father Barnes…”

 

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently my muses are taking the long way around with this one...

It’s Thursday morning, you’re at work per the usual. It hasn’t been a super eventful day, despite getting ready for the weekend edition to go out. Your boss asks you to make a coffee run to the donut shop across the street. It’s an easy and somewhat mundane task, so you gladly oblige, getting up from your desk where you’d been proofreading the classified ads. It will give you a chance to stretch your legs, at least.

When you arrive at the donut shop, you notice that it’s nearly empty. A glance at your watch tells you that’s because it is two o’clock in the afternoon. Not really rush hour. You walk up to the counter and place your order for coffee and a box of assorted pastries before finding a booth nearby to wait. Sitting down, you pull your phone out of your pocket, figuring you should check your messages since you haven’t all day. You have a few, but one in particular catches your eye. It’s from Katrina. She wants you to come over to her parent’s place for swimming on Friday after work followed by a movie marathon at her place. You have no other plans and honestly, that sounds like a good way to spend a Friday evening.

You hear the jingle of the door opening, but you don’t bother to look up. You’re too busy texting Katrina back to care about a random customer coming into the shop. That is until you hear a familiar voice say your name and the customer comes to a stop in front of where you are seated. You feel your heart skip a beat as you lift your eyes meet Bucky’s. “Hey,” you respond wondering what are the chances?

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he says, his smile just as captivating as it had been on Saturday.

“Um, I work across the street. Just doing a coffee run,” you say, realizing that you must look a mess. Since you assumed you’d be stuck in the office all day, you hadn’t bothered to dress up. Blue jeans, a plaid shirt, flip flops, and a messy bun had felt appropriate for the day. Not so much now.

Bucky, on the other hand; black dress pants and a royal blue button down complete with a black tie. He looked absolutely delicious. “What are you up to today; all dressed up? Thought you are supposed to be on break.”

“I am. But I had a meeting with the Bishop and some parishioners at St. Mary’s. Couldn’t very well go in wearing shorts and a tee.”

“I suppose not,” you agree, forcing your mind to stay present instead of trying to imagine him in shorts and a tee shirt. The tie he’s wearing now is already giving you enough to think about as it is. “Are you even allowed to wear that?” You couldn’t help yourself. You had to ask.

Just as you’d hoped, it successfully makes him laugh. You really could get used to hearing him laugh. You also like that, right now, you are the reason for that glorious sound. “I can wear it at home,” he replies. “Or when I’m on vacation and not officially representing the church,” he explained. “As long as I’m, ya know, covered.”

You’re a little bit relieved when the barista calls your number. You didn’t know where else to go with that last little tidbit. “Uh, that’s me.” You stand up, smiling at Bucky as you put your phone back in your hip pocket. “It was good to see you again.”

Bucky’s brow furrows a bit at your somewhat quick dismissal. You feel a tinge of regret, but you really have no idea how to act around him in public. The reunion was one thing, but in public where anyone could be watching; judging? You don’t want to blatantly jeopardize anything for him by acting inappropriately; and inappropriate, you can definitely do. It’s just who you are.

“I don’t mean to rush,” you assure him as you gather up your order. “I just…need to get back to work.”

“Sure,” Bucky says with a polite smile as you start to leave. “Hey, what time do you get off work?”

“I’m should be done around five. Why do you ask?”

“If I come back here, will you have coffee with me? I feel like we should talk.”

“Um,” you’re a bit hesitant, but his eyes plead with yours and you can’t bring yourself to say no, however, it doesn’t stop you from teasing him. “Father Barnes, are you asking me out?”

Amused, and maybe a little bit embarrassed, he ducks his head slightly, to hide the sheepish grin spreading over his lips. “Uh no,” he clarifies. “This is not a date. Just coffee.”

You chuckle at his tongue-tied reply. “I’m kidding, Bucky! But yes. I will have _just coffee_ with you.”

He smiles. “Great! I will see you at five, then.”

“See you at five, Bucky,” you agree with your own smile as you turn to walk out the door.

You have no idea what you just got yourself into or what Bucky thinks you need to talk about, but your feelings are a mix between excited and terrified.

Once you’re back in the office, you try to push all thoughts of your best friend’s cousin out of your head. It’s damn hard, but somehow you manage to do it long enough to finish your work. So, when five o’clock rolls around, you’re actually ready to leave. You say goodbye to your co-workers and head out the front door, heading for the donut shop again.

As you walk across the street, you smile seeing a certain handsome man standing by the entrance. He’s still dressed as he was earlier, and you have to admit, he looks damn good in that suit. The blue shirt amplifies the blue in his eyes too, if that is even possible.

He smiles fondly and opens the door for you. “Oh, such a gentleman,” you tease as you enter the shop ahead of him.

“I do try.”

After getting your drinks, you follow Bucky to a table in the back corner of the shop. He even goes so far as to pull a chair out for you. It’s nice to see that chivalry isn’t dead, even if it’s coming from a future priest, it’s a nice touch. You thank him as you sit down.

“No, thank you for coming. I was afraid that you might not.”

“Why wouldn’t I,” you ask, tilting your head to the side as in question.

He shrugs his shoulders as he pulls out his own chair to take a seat. “It was sort of a random request.”

“Eh, as long as it’s _just coffee_ and you don’t try to convince me to join a convent or anything, I’m down.”

An amused grin tugs at the corner of Bucky’s mouth. “You just say whatever you’re thinking, don’t you?”

“Oh no,” you assure him. “I do not say even a portion of what I am thinking. I would get myself into so much trouble even you wouldn’t be able to save me.”

“Anyone can be saved,” he responds, shifting his eyes downward as he takes the lid off his coffee cup. “It’s just a matter of wanting to be.”

You study him for a moment, watching as he dumps a packet of creamer into the steaming, black liquid. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

He sighs heavily as if he isn’t quite ready, but nevertheless, he begins to speak. “It’s been brought to my attention that the way I acted on Saturday may have been a bit inacceptable.”

“The way you acted?” You ask in confusion. “I don’t follow.”

“I was flirtatious towards you, and I am sorry for that. I didn’t mean to give the wrong impression.”

“Oh my God, Bucky,” you say, trying not to laugh. “It’s ok.”

He grimaces at your response, shaking his head slightly. “It’s really not. I mean, not for me to be doing it, anyway. I have, uh, certain ways that I’m expected to conduct myself. Clearly, I did not do a very good job with that at the reunion.”

“If anything, that was my fault. I shouldn’t have edged it on or teased you,” you wrinkle your nose at the memory of the moments before you learned who he was. And you definitely shouldn’t have crossed your legs in front of him the way you had.

Bucky smirked. “No, you probably shouldn’t have.”

“You must think I’m terrible.”

“Not at all. I really enjoy your company, to be honest. It’s like a breath of fresh air after having been surrounded by the stuffiest people in the world for the last few years,” he explains. “I just need to make sure that you understand that our behavior on Saturday can lead nowhere.”

“I am acutely aware of that,” you tell him, wishing that you didn’t care.

“But, if you want, we can be friends.”

You give him the most incredulous look you can muster. “Friends?”

“Yeah. I am allowed to have those; ya know?” he says with a grin, obviously playing on the fact that you almost always asked him if he’s allowed.

“Is that something you want? For us to be friends?’

“I like the idea. I mean, you are best friends with my cousin, so it’s not like we can avoid each other. Besides, we do get along rather well, at least, I think we do.”

You do, you think. You get along very well. The only problem you see with being friends with Bucky is the fact that you are attracted to him. Far more than you wish to be. Any other man who was as religious as he is, would have been put out of your mind without question. Corruption wasn’t something you wanted a part of. At least not until now, you hadn’t. The devil on your left is still fighting with the angel on your right over that issue.

“I’m going to be completely honest with you, Bucky,” you say, narrowing your eyes slightly as he stares at you from across the small table. You can’t believe that you’re about to confess your thoughts to him, but it’s the only way you can, in good conscious, move forward with any kind of friendship.

“Please, I want you to be.”

“From the moment I saw you, I’ve been shamelessly into you. I think that you’re the most attractive man I’ve ever seen. And while I do admire your what you’re doing, I also find it to be a huge turn on.”

A smile spreads over Bucky’s lips. “I am flattered.”

“The thing is, I don’t know if I can _just_ be friends with you.”

“It’s the only option, doll.” He tells you truthfully.

You narrow your eyes further. “Just so you know, the way you call me that? It really gets under my skin.”

“Like they way you call me Father Barnes?”

“Touché.”

He leans in, crossing his arms on the table in front of him, heaving a heavy sigh. “So, I guess we have a problem.”

“Looks like it.”

“How was work today?” He asks, obviously choosing to just ignore the problem at hand.

You lift an eyebrow at the sudden change of subject, but you go with it. “It was ok. The weekend edition had to be finished and ready for print tonight, so it was a bit busy.”

“Anything interesting in there?”

“Not really. The usual school happenings and local agriculture updates. Yadi-yada.” Sitting back in your chair, you give him a condensed rundown of the newspaper that will be hitting the stands the next day. “So how was your meeting at St. Mary’s this afternoon?” You figured if he wanted to talk, you needed to talk about something other than you.

“It was good. Bishop Phillips has kind of been my mentor. He’s the one I call on when I’m struggling.”

You want to ask him what he’s been struggling with, but you think you already have a pretty good idea of what the answer would be at this very moment. “It’s good to have that. Where’s Steve today?”

“Probably hanging out at the church where he used to attend.”

“I thought he wanted to enjoy his last summer as a free man,” you point out, remembering what Steve had told you before you left the reunion.

“Trust me, if he’s there, he’s enjoying it.”

“Katrina told me that Steve was involved in the church before you were.”

Bucky affirms that with a nod of his head as he takes a sip of his coffee. “I didn’t get into it until after my accident. I was in a very bad place for a while.”

You see a bit of a change in his demeanor and that makes you curious. You never asked Katrina for more information about the accident and how he lost his arm, but you do have questions. “Can I ask about that?”

“About my accident?” He waits for you to answer before continuing. “Sure. I can talk about it now.”

“What exactly happened?” You ask, figuring you should just start from the beginning.

He exhales slowly as if he is thinking of how to start. “Well, it was a motorcycle accident. In hindsight, it was just me being an irresponsible, hot-headed teenager.” He took another sip of his coffee before continuing. “Granted, I had just turned twenty, I was nowhere near mature. I had just had a huge fight with my girlfriend at the time.”

Your breath hitches in your throat when he mentions a girlfriend. You don’t know why, but the thought that he was just a normal guy before never really crossed your mind once you found out that he was attending seminary. Somehow that little piece of information doesn’t help minimalize your lust for him. If nothing else, it amplifies it, forcing you to fantasize about what kind of a person he was before. Was he wild and reckless? Or tame and meticulous? How much self-control does he really need to stay on the straight and narrow?

“It was nothing new. We fought a lot over stupid things, but that evening in particular, I’d just had enough, and I stormed out. I got on my bike and sped away. It was raining hard, and I knew better.” He moved his prosthetic hand from the table and placed it in his lap, beneath the table. “I lost control going into a turn and that was that.”

“Are you sure you’re ok with talking about this?” You ask, having noticed how his face contorted with the memory, and how he was obviously feeling self-conscious about his hand being visible.

With another nod, he continues, “I was extremely fortunate, really. I was in surgery for hours with some internal bleeding and broken bones. They tried to salvage my arm, but the way it was severed, they couldn’t reconnect the tendons and stuff so, they did a complete amputation.”

You stay with him in the donut shop for the next few hours just talking. He continues telling you about his amputation and how he got depressed afterwards and suffered from PTSD. The girlfriend he’d been fighting with the evening of the accident only stuck around for a few weeks afterward. For some reason, that angers you. How could she leave him in the midst of something like that?

Bucky pauses your conversation long enough to go to the counter and buy donuts and a second round of coffee for both of you. When he returns, he wants to know more about you. So, you tell him about your college years and why you decided to work where you do. It is kind of uplifting, because he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say.

When you finally leave the shop, he smiles, turning to you just outside the door. “See, we can do the just friends thing. I really enjoy talking to you.”

As much as you want to believe that, spending time getting to know him did nothing to change your mind about how much you want him. In fact, it may have just intensified your need, because now it’s beyond physical. “I enjoy talking to you too. Thank you for the coffee and donuts.”

“My pleasure.” For a second, Bucky looks around at the cars around you. “Where is your car?”

“Just up the street,” you reply.

“I’ll walk with you.”

“You don’t have to,” you insist, but he shakes his head telling you that it’s dark and you shouldn’t be walking up the street alone. You chuckle softly. “Bucky, I’ll be fine. I do it all the time.”

“Just indulge me,” he says, refusing to take no for an answer.

You give in, deciding that it’s not worth arguing over anyway. When you reach your car, you thank him again and say goodnight. Your drive home is filled with thoughts of the last few hours. You hadn’t expected your day to go the way it has, but you’re kind of glad that it did. Unfortunately, now you can’t wait to see him again, and that could be a very bad thing.

They next day, work isn’t nearly as busy, so you’re able to get out of the office at a decent time. You go home, shower, and change into a pair of denim shorts and one of your favorite tee shirts. You opt to put your swimsuit on under clothes because there’s no point in changing more times than you have to. Then you grab a bag from your closet, packing it with extra clothes for after swimming and possibly and overnight stay at Katrina’s place.

When you get to Katrina’s parents’ house, you knock on the door. Her grandma, Betts, answers ushering you inside. “Katrina is outside by the pool.”

You thank her and walk off in the direction of the living room. As you go through the room, you see Bucky and Steve off to the side in the dining room. They look deep in discussion with some books and such spread out in front of them. They’re both dressed in shorts and tees. The sight makes you smile, thinking about the conversation you had the day before. “Hey guys,” you shout with a wave of your hand as you continue towards the back door.

Tossing your bag down on one of the lawn chairs, you continue across the yard to the pool where Katrina is already floating around in the water with her head resting on a raft. “Hey, woman!” You greet.

“Hey! I thought you would never get here. I’m so bored!

“I only went home long enough to change,” you say, giving her a dull glare. “Don’t be so dramatic.” As you begin to strip out of your shorts and tee, you continue. “You didn’t tell me they were going to be here.” You nod towards the house for further emphasis.

“Oh. My bad. They’re actually staying here for the summer. This is the only place there is room right now.” She explained. “And Grandma Betts insisted.”

“Well, if I had known that, I would have gone for a one-piece and maybe a skirt.” You say, suddenly feeling a little exposed in your favorite red bikini.

“Why?”

“Um… We probably shouldn’t be flaunting around like this in front of them,” you explain. “Ya know, the whole temptation thing?”

“They’re grown-ass men. If they don’t want to look, they won’t.”

“Don’t you feel a little bad about it though?”

Katrina is laughing when you start to step down in the pool. “First of all, Bucky is my cousin, so he’s not going to be looking at me, and secondly, I just consider it my duty to test and strengthen Steven’s resolve.”

“You’re horrible.”

“Nah. It’s not a big deal anyway. Steve stopped looking a long time ago.”

“Guess his willpower is pretty strong then, huh?” You inhale sharply, sinking into the water. The chill takes you by surprise and you immediately regret the decision not to just jump in.

“He’s determined,” Katrina agrees.

“Bucky and I had coffee together, yesterday,” you say nonchalantly.

Katrina’s eyes grow wide and a teasing smile tugs at her lips. “How did this come about?”

“He just showed up at the donut shop across from my office. Then he asked me to have coffee after work.”

“Well, I doubt that was random,” she says as she moves closer to you in the water. “I do want details though.”

“He just wanted to talk. He basically told me that the flirting that happened at the reunion shouldn’t have happened and he was afraid that he’d given me the wrong impression.” You sigh, grabbing on to an inflatable ring as it drifts by. “Then we spent hours just talking.”

“About what?”

“Well, lots of things, but mostly about his accident and the aftermath.”

“Really?” Katrina sounds surprised. “That’s amazing. He doesn’t talk to anyone about that, well except for maybe Steve and his old therapists.”

“Seriously?” It takes you a second to process that. You’d just assumed that at least his family knew all the details.

“He’s been pretty mute around everyone else. He must really like you.”

“He said he wants to be friends,” you explain. “And God, so do I, but I’m seriously afraid that just friends isn’t gonna be enough for me.”

“I’m sorry,” Katrina says looking at you with empathy shining in her brown eyes. “I wish I could say I know how you feel, but I’m getting the impression that there’s more to you wanting Bucky than just for sex.”

“At first it was purely physical attraction, because damn!” You snicker at the grimace on Katrina’s face. “Sorry. But yeah. He’s like the whole package.”

“I still think corruption is a viable option.”

“I really want it to be an option,” you agree. “And if Bucky weren’t so damn perfect, maybe I wouldn’t think twice.”

The two of you spend a couple of hours in the pool, before finally deciding to head over to Katrina’s place to watch movies. Neither Steve nor Bucky had made an appearance outside the whole time you were out there. For that, you were grateful. Less likely to create anymore awkward moments between you and Bucky if you weren’t in close proximity.

Carefully, you climb out of the pool, wrapping one of the thick beach towels around you before going to grab your bag from the chair. “I’m going to go change.”

“Ok. Use the upstairs guest room. Bucky and Steve are using the two downstairs.”

You nod, heading on towards the house, hoping you reach the guest room without running into anyone. After you change, you spend some time using the towel to dry your hair a bit, before going back downstairs.

Katrina is already back in the living room, sitting with Bucky and Steve. You silently join them, taking a seat on the arm chair next to the dining room. Katrina was the first to speak. “So, I invited the guys over for our movie night. I figured the more the merrier. We can order pizza.”

“Ok. Sounds good to me,” you reply, uncertain of how you really feel about it.

“We will pick up the food,” Steve offers. “Should we get anything else?”

“Chips and dip,” you say without having to think about it. “And…Nevermind. Just drinks.”

Bucky grins, knowingly from across the room, and you feel your cheeks flush. You groan inwardly because dammit, it’s not fair for him to get to affect you so easily. You’re almost certain that you’ve blushed more in the past week than you have in your whole life.

Later, once you’ve gone to Katrina’s apartment, you flip through a few dozen movie titles waiting for the men arrive with the pizza. Once they do, you get up from your perch on the floor to join them and Katrina in the kitchen. Upon your entrance, Bucky hands you a brown, paper bag much like the one Steve is currently unpacking. You realize in astonishment that it’s beer he’s pulling out of the bag.

“We’re Catholic, doll. We’re allowed to enjoy adult beverages.”

You look down at the bag he handed you. Carefully, you pull out a six-pack of your favorite wine cooler. “How did you?”

“I asked Katrina,” he says smugly. “I guess I could have asked you, but I love seeing the shock on your face when I do something you don’t expect.”

You swallow, feeling heat pool in your belly. You try your best not to react, but you are sure the expression on your face is betraying you. “Thank you.”

He just grins and goes about grabbing a paper plate from the counter. So much for the ‘no flirting’ thing. Bucky sucks at it.

“Hey, Squirt,” you hear Steve ask, “where do you keep the napkins?”

“The paper towels,” Katrina replies curtly, “are on the wall. And dammit, stop calling me Squirt.”

“K. Whatever you say, Squirt.”

You can’t help but laugh at your best friend’s annoyance. And now you can’t help but wonder for a moment if that’s Steve’s version of _doll_.

The four of you regroup in the living room to start your movie marathon. You settle in on the armchair while Katrina spreads out over the couch. Steve and Bucky are left with the smaller sofa, but they don’t seem to mind because there is a coffee table for them to prop their feet up on. “What are we watching?” Steve asks.

“I don’t know,” you say, pointing toward the screen where several movies have been added to a list. “Pick one.”

Much to your delight, Steve picks an action movie. One that you’ve actually been wanting to see. So, you start it, and then settle back with your pizza and grape flavored wine cooler. It’s a perfect Friday night.

Halfway through the movie when Steve asks you to pause the movie as he gets up; excusing himself to the bathroom, you take the opportunity to move over to the double sofa where Bucky is slouched down in on corner nursing a bottle of beer. He glances up when you sit down next to him. You’ve wanted to bring up the subject of his arm since earlier at Katrina’s parents' place when you noticed he put an overshirt with long sleeves on after you arrived. It makes you feel bad that he thinks that he needs to hide it. “Ya know,” you begin. “You don’t have to cover it up in front of me.”

He looks down at his arm where your eyes are trained. “I prefer to.”

“Why?”

He shrugs. “I just do. It tends to make people uncomfortable, and because of that I become uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. Can I see it?” You ask, boldly.

He narrows his eyes slightly. “Why?”

You shrug. “Because I’m curious.”

He sits up, still eyeing you with reservation as he removes the overshirt that he’d put on earlier. “There’s not really much to see, just a hunk of metal.”

Your gaze rakes over the black prosthetic, noticing the contours; metal plates sculpted to make it look as much like his other arm as possible. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen. “Can I touch it?” You ask, already reaching out, your fingers hovering over his arm.

Again, he only shrugs. So, you touch it gingerly, letting your fingers brush lightly over the metal, tracing the subtle curves of what are supposed to be muscles. You feel a bit of vibration beneath the plates as it shifts slightly. Then you remember something that Katrina had said before. “Katrina called it teched-out. How so?”

“It was surgically attached using artificial nerves. I can control it just like a real arm thanks to advancements in science.”

“Can you feel with it?” You ask, running your fingers along the surface.

“I can feel pressure,” he responds, smiling when you press the palm of your hand against his, lacing your fingers together to give it a trifling squeeze. “So? What do you think?”

“I find it fascinating,” you assure him.

“What’s going on in here?” Steve asks with a confused glance at you and Bucky as he returns and takes a seat in the chair that you’d previously occupied.

“I’m admiring Bucky’s arm,” you reply.

“Molesting is a better word,” Katrina chimes in. She’d been so quiet for the last ten minutes, you forgot she was still in the room. You turn your eyes toward her, glaring which only makes her smile knowingly. “What? The way you’ve been feeling it up is damn near erotic,” she points out.

You feel Bucky flinch slightly. So, reluctantly, you let go of his hand and turn back around in your seat. “Let’s get back to the movie.”

At some point you fall asleep, because when you wake up, it’s morning and you’re leaning against Bucky who is also asleep, his head nestled against the armrest. You glance around the room. Katrina is gone, you assume she went to her bed at some point. Steve is stretched out on the floor, snoring softly. You’re somewhat afraid to move because you don’t want to wake Bucky up because you just know it’s going to be awkward as hell, but it will be worse if you stay put.

Carefully, you move to sit up, trying your best not to wake him up. Your attempts are futile though. He stirs almost instantly, turning his head to see you. “Hey. Sleep well?” He asks, his voice rough with sleep.

“Sorry for falling asleep on you,” you say, trying to ignore how his morning voice sent shivers down your spine.

He smiles impassively, still groggy from sleep. “It’s ok. I can’t imagine that my shoulder was the best pillow though.”

“No, but your chest wasn’t bad,” you say with a chuckle, realizing that he doesn’t really mind that you fell asleep leaning against him. You get up from the sofa and head off in the direction of the kitchen.  “I’m gonna go make coffee.”

Once the coffee is done, you pull three mugs out of the cupboard. You heard Steve waking up a few moments ago, but knowing Katrina, she will continue sleeping for hours. You walk over to the door that separates the living room and kitchen of Katrina’s modest apartment. Bucky is still on the sofa but has the TV remote in hand flipping through channels. “Hey Steve,” you ask, “how do you like your coffee?”

He looks up from where he’s still sitting on the floor, leaning back against the sofa. “Black, thank you.”

You nod, turning back to the kitchen without bothering to ask Bucky. You remember how he takes his coffee. A few minutes later, you return with all three mugs. You give each of them one before you settle into the armchair with your own.

Bucky smile appreciatively at you, noticing that you put just the right amount of creamer in his coffee. “So, what’s on the agenda today?”

“I haven’t really thought about it.”

“We should go to the bowling alley,” Steve suggests. “I haven’t been bowling in ages.”

You see the unsavory look that Bucky gives his friend. “Bowling, Steve? Really?”

“I think bowling sounds like fun,” you say. “But maybe we should have breakfast first,” you suggest. “You guys hungry?”

“I could eat,” Steve says. “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to go raid Katrina’s fridge and see what I can find.”

“I saw eggs in there last night,” Bucky advises. “And I’m pretty sure there was bacon.”

“I’m thinking omelets?” You look from one to the other. “No objections?”

“No, we like omelets. We’ll help you make them.”

“Bucky, you don’t have to,” you start, but he’s already up and on his way to the kitchen.

“He likes to cook?” Steve tries.

You shake your head in awe. Could they be any cuter? “The question is, can he though?”

“I heard that!” You look up to see Bucky standing by the door, leering playfully. “Do we need wake Katrina up for this?”

“Nah,” you say with a shrug as you get up to join him. “Let her sleep. She’s grouchy when prematurely woken up. Come on, Steve; Father Barnes needs our assistance.”

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of a time-jump from the previous chapter...

Rolling over in your bed, you slap around on the nightstand, feeling for your cellphone that is buzzing and playing really loud, annoying music. Once you have it in your hand, you look blearily at the numbers on the screen. It’s six-thirty in the morning. Why on Earth you set your alarm for that early beyond your comprehension.  

Of course, it comes flooding back to you a moment later. Today is Bucky and Steve’s going away party. They’d been there all summer, and now it is time for them to go back to New York where they’d take their vows and consummate their marriage to the church. In a manner of speaking anyway. You promised to help. You weren’t even going to go, but Bucky had been the one who called you.

You were hesitant to agree to it, but the pleading in his voice had been poignant. And the truth of the matter is, you don’t want to leave things where they were. You may very well never see him again, and you don’t want the last memory you have of him to be a bad one.

You close your eyes for a moment longer, recalling the memory of the last time you saw him. It was three weeks ago, but the pain felt every bit like yesterday to you.

~*~*~*~

_You furrow your brow, unsure of what’s going on when Bucky grabs your arm and pulls you into the front yard away from your friends. “Bucky, what…?” you begin, stopping abruptly when you see the look on his face. His expression sits somewhere between anger and sadness.  Your stomach rolls and your heart pounds as you realize what’s wrong._

_He sighs, the tension leaving his shoulders as they sag slightly. “You’ve got to stop doing this to me.”_

_You should feel guilty. He’s trying so hard to be obedient to his work; to his faith. Part of you kinda feels like the world’s worst person, but at the same time, you sort of enjoy the fact that he is so affected by you. Of course, in your defense, you have been trying really hard not to hassle him lately. You and Katrina have hung out with him and Steve a lot over the summer. You thought you were getting by pretty well with the exception of a little bit of innocent flirting._

_It’s just that today, he looks so good and you’re kinda of turned on; you just can’t help it. Also, any tact that you may have been hanging onto went right out the window the moment he took his shirt off to jump in the pool. It was both surprising and arousing. You saw, for the first time, just how ripped he is. And holy mother, is he? All you could think about was running your fingers all over that beautiful body, and then following up with your mouth. Fuck, everything about him is delicious. Even the prosthetic looked sexy as hell gleaming in the sunlight._

_And dammit, it’s not fair that he can do whatever the hell he wants whether it gets you riled up or not, but you so much as suck on a cherry popsicle and it’s just too over the top. It’s not like you were thinking about it. You were so lost in thought, watching his naked torso that you didn’t fully realize what your mouth was doing to that popsicle._

_“Not as resilient as you thought; huh, Father Barnes?” You love the way his eyes cloud over when you call him that in a sultry whisper._

_He breathes your name as his eyes close, thick lashes fluttering against flawless skin. “Please stop.”_

_“Stop what?” You ask innocently, waiting for him to look at you again. When he does, his eyes are a stormy blue. He’s conflicted, and the decent human being in you feels a bit of remorse. “I told you I didn’t think I could just be your friend,” You remind him. “The truth is, I’m probably always going to try to break you because I, myself, am too weak.”_

_“We can never be anything more,” he whispers almost as if he is trying to convince himself instead of you._

_“I know.” You finally back down. “I’m sorry, Bucky. I know how I’ve acted; how we’ve both acted, is wrong. I know that wanting you is wrong, but I can’t help how much I do.”_

_“If we’d met just five years ago even,” Bucky says, as though that would have changed anything. “Maybe things could be different.”_

_“I appreciate you saying that.” You say with a half-hearted smile. “If only, right?”_

_He nods, his breathing a bit calmer than it was at first. “I’m sorry.”_

_You shake your head. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” You boldly step forward, taking his face in your hands. You can see the trepidation in his eyes, and it breaks your heart. “Good luck, Bucky.” You place a gentle kiss against his cheek before turning to leave._

_“Where are you going?” He asks, quickly grabbing your hand._

_“I think it’s best if I just leave. I think it will be good for both of us.”_

_He nods, in agreement, but the unshed tears pooling in his eyes tell a different story. As hard as that moment is for you, you have to walk away._

~*~*~*~

Tears spill from the corners of your eyes. You hate yourself because of the mess you made. If only you were stronger. You should have never let it get as far as it did. You and Bucky shared some wonderful times over the summer; rarely alone, of course, but it still made your days. He’s unlike anyone you’ve ever known. You even miss Steve. He’s a bit more reserved than Bucky sometimes, but he’s still an awesome and fun person.

Katrina never asked why you stopped hanging around when the men were present. Somehow, you thought she knew. She stopped suggesting it after the third time you turned her down. Maybe Bucky told her. You didn’t know for sure, but either way, you’re glad she didn’t question it.

And now you have to get up and go to her parent’s house, and undoubtedly pretend like nothing ever happened. You dread it. Mostly because you don’t want to see Bucky. Unfortunately, seeing him is also the reason why you _do_ want to go. With a heavy sigh, you finally sit up, rubbing your tired, sleepy eyes. Coffee is going to be a must. You go off to the kitchen to put a pot on to brew before going to change clothes.

Bucky sees you, the moment you walk into the house. A look of relief washes over his face, and he smiles. You manage a small smile of your own, but if your being honest, you still feel a bit nauseous.

“Thank you so much for coming,” Bucky says in a low whisper as he comes to stand next to you.

You nod, keeping your voice low as well. “Well, it would have been a bit suspicious if I didn’t show up.” Seeing the crestfallen look on his face at your reasoning prompts you to continue. “And I honestly didn’t want to leave things the way they were between us. You’re an amazing guy, Buck. I think…No, I _know_ that having you as just a friend is far better than not having you at all.”

“Hey! You’re here!” Steve exclaims as he joins you. “Where have you been hiding?”

You smile at the blonde who’s questioning your whereabouts for the last few weeks. You went from hanging out two to three times a week to zilch over night. “Oh, I’ve been super busy for the last few weeks, but I couldn’t—wouldn’t—miss this.” You’re grateful that he showed up. You still aren’t ready to be alone with Bucky.

“Katrina is in the kitchen with her mom. I think they’ve been waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Steve.” You smile, glancing at Bucky once more before excusing yourself to go help in the kitchen.

“About time,” Katrina huffs sarcastically the second she sees you.

You stick your tongue out at your best friend before saying a polite, “hello,” to her mom. “Ok, what can I help with?”

You spend the morning helping them prepare the food while everyone else is outside getting the yard ready. Katrina told you that while it’s not going to be a reunion size crowd, there will be several of Bucky and Steve’s family members in attendance. You’re thankful for that. A large crowd means that Bucky will likely be preoccupied with other people, so you won’t have to worry about awkward encounters. Hopefully.

Once all the party preparations are done, you grab your keys; planning to run home, shower, and change. However, as you turn to leave, you run smack into Bucky’s hard chest. “Shi…Uh, sorry.”

He looks down at you, his hands still gripping your shoulders where he’d automatically grasped to prevent you from stumbling. “Can we talk?”

“Can we do it later, maybe?” You ask, shrugging his hands off you. Your body still doesn’t have the sense not to react to his touch. “I have to go home and change,” you explain, pointing at your shorts and tee shirt.

“You look fine,” he insists.

Furrowing your brow, you shake your head. “Not fine enough for a party.” What he asks next takes you completely by surprise.

“Well, can I go with you so we can talk?” When he sees your apprehension, he continues with a meager, “please?”

“Fine,” you give in, feeling a little bit pathetic over how easily you caved.

In the beginning, the car ride to your apartment is a bit unsettling. For the first ten minutes neither of you say a word. Finally, Bucky ends the unpleasant silence. “So, I don’t like not talking to you.”

It was a simple statement, but the way he said it, with so much sorrow? It certainly makes your heart hurt. “I don’t like not talking to you either.”

“I’ve honestly never felt so comfortable around someone so quickly; not since before my accident at least. It’s just so easy for me to open up to you; about anything. I don’t even know why.”

Your hands grip the steering wheel a bit tighter, remembering what Katrina had said about him staying mute about his accident, but he’d told you everything after having only known you for a few days. “I’m thrilled that you feel that way, Bucky.”

“And then when you weren’t around, and I couldn’t talk to you; I felt awful. I missed you.”

“What about Steve? Don’t the two of you talk?” It feels kind of weird that he’s saying this about you. You haven’t known him long enough to have that kind of a bond, even if you do feel pretty much the same way.

“It’s not the same. Steve and I have known each other forever, so there’s nothing that I could tell him that he doesn’t already know, or sense. If feels different with you. Exciting.”

“Exciting?”

“Yeah. Like when you were genuinely interested in my arm. No one has ever asked me about it like that.”

“No one?” You find that hard to believe.

“Not without being awkward about it. I don’t like awkward. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Then I get self-conscious and just tell them a condensed version and they drop it. They’re never really interested to begin with.” He’s watching you when you glance over at him as you pull into your apartment complex. “And then there is the fact that you’re blatantly honest with me.”

“Would you rather I lie?” You ask, leering his way.

“No. Never. It’s just that you know who I am; what I’m to become, and you’re still one-hundred percent authentic. It’s a bit unnerving at times, but also completely invigorating.”

You look at him once more before turning to get out of your car. He’s being totally serious with you right now. In some weird way, you get what he’s saying. Although you don’t know whether to pat yourself on the back for making him feel like he has a real, new friend; or smack yourself for not tucking tail and running away at the reunion when you found out about his chosen path.

He follows you up the two flights of stairs to your apartment as you continue talking. “So, what’s going to happen when you go back to New York? We aren’t going to be able to hang out or even see each other.” You pause outside your door, using the key to unlock it.

Bucky leans up against the wall, waiting while you open the door. “I do have a cellphone and a computer.”

“Oh, do you really? You’re allowed to have those?”

He’s laughing when you look up at him. “You’d be surprised what all I’m allowed. Maybe I’ll e-mail you a list.”

 You roll your eyes at him as you push on the door. Once inside, you point towards the couch. “Make yourself at home. The kitchen is through there if you want a drink or anything. I’m going to go get ready.”

He nods and takes a seat as you walk down the hallway to the bathroom. Closing the door, you lean against it to allow yourself a moment to breathe. You really wish that you didn’t get butterflies every time he’s near. Or that they didn’t overreact whenever he’s being adorable.

You think about the conversation you had with him on the way over, and how he was so desperate to make things right between the two of you when he wasn’t even the one who messed things up. Can you really do this? Be his friend? The way he wants you to be? Do you have a choice?

You sigh heavily and finish your shower. As you step out of the tub, wrapping the towel around your body, you realize that you didn’t think to bring your clothes into the bathroom with you. Your bedroom is at the end of the hallway, so you will have to walk two doors down. “Great job, dummy.” You chastise yourself for being so absent-minded. Of course, it isn’t part of your routine to dress in the bathroom, so you honestly didn’t think about it.

Quietly, you open the bathroom door, poking your head out to look down the hall. Bucky is still on the couch. Thankfully he’s busy looking at his phone. That gives you the courage to step out and hurry quickly down the hall and through your bedroom door. You close it behind you, hoping that Bucky didn’t look up and see you. It’s not that you aren’t covered, but the towel isn’t that long, and you don’t want to make him think that you did it on purpose.

You quickly do your hair and make up before slipping into a black skirt and a blue, sleeveless, button-up blouse that you’d picked out earlier that morning. As you button the last button, you notice how much cleavage you’re showing with that top. It makes you rethink it for a second, but then you decide not to worry about it. You’ve worn much more revealing tops in the past.

Bucky looks up when you walk back into the living room a smile appears on his face. “Wow. You look nice.”

Your smile mirrors his. “Thank you. Better than the shorts and tee from earlier, yeah?”

“If you say so,” he responds with a wink.

“Ok, so I have something to say,” you chew on your bottom lip waiting for Bucky to acknowledge you.

“Alright,” he says slowly, his face falling slightly with unease.

“If we’re going to do this friends thing for real, we have to set some boundaries. We really sucked at it before.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” he says, exhaling in relief when he realizes that you are planning to stick around. “What do you have in mind?”

“I know some of the things I say and do are inappropriate, so I promise not to do any of the things I know makes you uncomfortable. No flirting, no teasing, no double entendres. But in return, you have to stop doing some of the things you tend to do.”

“Like?”

“Winking for starters,” you begin.

He smirks. “Ok, done. What else?”

As if someone scrambles your brain, you completely forget what else you were going to say. You had a list formed in your head just moments ago, but for the life of you, you can’t remember it. “Um,” you try hard to recall something else that he does that gets under your skin. Truthfully, there aren’t specific things that he does that get to you. _He_ just gets to you. “Stop calling me doll. There’s something about the way you say it that just…ugh!”

This time, he chuckles at your demand. “Ok. But you know what you have to stop calling me, right?”

“Yes. I won’t call you that.”

“Even when it’s official, ok?”

“What if I’m confessing?”

“You’re not Catholic.”

You grin. “Guess you got me there.”

“Is there anything else?”

“I’m sure there is, but I can’t think of it right now,” you admit. “How about I just let you know whenever you do it? And you can do the same with me.”

“Ok. Sounds like a plan then.” He leans forward resting his elbows on his knees. “We can do this.”

You nod your head in agreement, hoping that he’s right and that you really can do this. Maybe once he’s back in New York it won’t be so bad. Talking to him on the phone is actually easier than being close to him. Of course, you still feel a peculiar giddiness at the sight of his name showing up on your screen. “Ok, so now that we have a plan, we should probably get back for the party. People are going to wonder where we are.”

The party is great. Everyone meanders around; playing games, eating food, and cornering Steve and Bucky to tell them how proud they are of them. You have to smile at how happy, they both seem. You’re glad that you and Bucky talked about things like the adults you are. It could have been disastrous. About an hour into the event, you find Katrina, intending to stick by her side for the rest of the evening.

“So, I assume you and Bucky worked things out?” Katrina asks. Even though you never told her specifically what happened, she knew something did.

“Yeah. We’re good.”

“Good. Steve was worried.”

“Huh?” You lift an eyebrow in question.

“He said Bucky was not himself, and he was concerned that he might be changing his mind about his discernment.”

A breath hitches in your throat at the thought that Bucky would even consider such a thing. Surely Steve was reading too much into it. “But he’s not. He’s here for their party, and he’s leaving in two days for New York.”

“Yep.” Katrina agrees. “All is well then.”

“I think I’m going to go get another drink. Do you want anything?” The truth of the matter is, you just need to be alone for a moment.

Katrina shakes her head as she waves at someone across the yard. “No, I’m good for now.”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a few.” You get up from your perch by the pool and head off toward the food and drinks. “Hey!” You shriek in surprise as Bucky appears out of nowhere and effortlessly pushes you into the small pool house. “What are you doing?” You ask, noticing that he’s closed the door. “Bucky, this is your party, people are gonna notice you’re missing.”

“Maybe so.” He lifts his shoulders in a shrug as he approaches you, “But I don’t really care.”

Involuntarily, you shudder as he moves closer to you, backing you up against a counter. “Bucky?”

He peers down at you, his blue eyes darker than you’ve ever seen them. The memory from the last time he took you away from the crowd pops into your head and you quickly try to remember the evening; wondering if you may have unintentionally done something to get a rouse out of him; but you can’t think of a single thing you’ve done. If nothing else, you’ve been overly cautious. It’s frustrating because you get the feeling that he’s about to lecture you for something that you don’t even know you did.

But he doesn’t. As he stares into your eyes, his breathing slightly labored; you feel his hands on your cheeks, the metal one a cold contrast to his flesh one. “Lord have mercy on my soul,” he whispers, leaning in so close you can feel his breath against your lips. “I’m not strong enough to resist you.”

His mouth covers yours, giving you no time to protest. You whimper in surprise but fully welcome his lips against yours. They are soft and malleable; but at the same time they’re determined as they slide over yours; caressing, enticing you to kiss him back. You do so with eagerness. You taste a hint of sweetness lingering on his lips, no doubt from the cherry pie he’d been enjoying earlier. You can’t stop a soft moan as he gently tilts your head creating a better angle. So much for the agreement the two of you had reached only a few hours earlier.

His hands move, slow and gentle from your face; sliding down the expanse of your neck, over your shoulders and down, brushing lightly against the sides of your breasts as they come to rest just above your hips. You lift your own arms which have remained frozen at your sides for long enough. You circle his neck, reaching to run your fingers through his hair. You tug gently at the brown locks as his kiss deepens. You hear him groan eagerly, the vibration against your lips causing your whole body to tingle.

The scratch of his beard feels amazing against your skin. The sudden thought of what it might feel like elsewhere sends a shiver down your spine and a spark straight to your core. You moan softly as his tongue brushes over your bottom lip, seeking permission. Your lips part; his tongue rolls languidly over yours, and you savor the delightful taste of saccharine as they continue to dance.

“Bucky,” you breathe his name, when his lips move away from yours; trailing tenderly along your jaw. Your fingers are still splayed in his hair as you toss your head back giving him better access to the skin just below your ear. He latches on, sucking softly. He’s definitely no amateur, you think, as his teeth nip at your now tender flesh.

His metal arm slides around you, pulling you closer. You gasp feeling an undeniable hardness pressing into your stomach. “Oh,” you giggle mischievously. “Father Barnes…”

He says your name hotly against your ear, his voice a low growl. “I want you so much.”

“God, yes…” you moan as his hands move to your bottom, effortlessly lifting you up to sit on the counter before returning his mouth to yours.

Your hands busy themselves, touching every part of Bucky that you possibly can, starting with those broad shoulders. Your hands slide down his back, feeling the deliciously hard muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt. A meek whimper surges as the memory of him shirtless and dripping wet comes to mind.

The touch of his fingers on your outer thighs, inching up your skirt brings your hands to an abrupt halt on his ass. “Bucky,” you whisper, breaking away from his lips as you cover his hands with your own. You don’t want to kill the mood, but you have to ask. “Are you sure about this?”

His eyes meet yours; his tongue darts out to quickly lick his kiss-swollen lips, and he lets go of a shuddering breath. “Yes.”

You reach up, cupping his face in both your hands, running your thumbs over his bottom lip as you hold his gaze for a moment. God, he’s beautiful, you think. You want to explore every inch of him, slowly so you can learn about everything that makes him tick. However, now is not the time for that. Now is about a single desire that needs to be sated. You lean in to kiss him again, pushing your own tongue past his lips, greedily taking control as his hands continue their journey up your legs. The fabric of your skirt bunches up as his hands travel further. The sensation of both warm and cool against your skin leaves goosebumps along the way.

Using his shoulders as leverage, you lift your hips when his fingers hook in the thin elastic band of your panties, allowing him to remove them. You shudder feeling his hands back on your thighs, gently spreading them. “Mmm, Bucky,” you murmur as your own fingers begin to trail down the front of his shirt until you reach his belt buckle. You work quickly to get it unbuckled, faltering only for a second when his flesh hand makes contact with your center, sliding smoothly over your wetness. You gasp, feeling two long fingers plunge into you.

A mere moment later, you hear Bucky’s sharp intake as you tug his semi-hard erection from the confines of his underwear. You bite your lip marveling over its size at only half-mass. “Bucky, baby… is this all for me?”

He delivers a sound that is somewhere between amused and turned on. “All for you, babydoll.” His voice is husky and sexy as hell as he breathes against your ear. “Tell me that you want it.”

Another shiver runs down your spine and you feel yourself clench around his fingers. “I want it, Bucky, I want all of it.” You begin to slide your hand slowly up and down his cock, teasing it full attention. “Fuck, you’re so thick,” you mewl as he grows under your touch. You can’t wait to feel him pushing inside you, stretching you until you can’t take anymore.

Pressing a third finger into you, his palm presses against your already excited clit. Your legs quiver from the added stimulation as he rubs the hardened nub. “Please,” you pant in desperation as his fingers continue to pump inside you. “Please, Bucky, I need you…”

“Need me?” He asks, resting his forehead against yours as he looks down at what your both doing to each other. “I want you to tell me what you need.”

Oh God, you think. Who would have thought he’d be into that? “Mmm,” you whine “I need you to fuck me…”

He growls, pulling his fingers away and yanking you closer to the edge of the counter. You wrap your arms back around his neck and he’s kissing you roughly. You feel his cock resting, hot against your slick entrance. Anticipation crawls over your skin, but Bucky makes no move to slide inside. His mouth leaves yours, and your eyes meet. “Say it,” he demands, his voice dropping low.

It takes you a second to understand what it is that he wants you to say, but then he whispers an encouraging “come on, doll” and you suddenly get it. You feel a surge of heat go straight to your core. Your eyes burn into his, you bite your lip teasingly, and lower your voice seductively. “Fuck me, Father Barnes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and thoughts are greatly appreciated. <3


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, let me apologize for taking so long to update this! It was not my intention. I had some technical problems with my laptop first of all, then I got really distracted by my former OTP which is most definitely my one true love when it comes to writing, I guess. But anyway, here is the next chapter. I'm sorry if it's short and kinda crappy. I haven't written smut in while. I'm rusty.

Steve looks up from his packing as Bucky walks into the room that he’d occupied for the whole summer. There is something in the way he’s unable to make eye contact that alerts Steve. He places one last folded, white shirt into his suitcase before sighing heavily. “What did you do, Buck?”

Bucky doesn’t reply right away. He figures that there isn’t much point. Steve had been warning him about this pretty much all summer. “I can’t go to New York with you, Steve.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t, in good conscious, go through with my vows,” Bucky explains. “And furthermore, I don’t really want to.”

“You slept with her,” Steve accuses knowingly, but without malice.

“I’m weaker than you,” Bucky acknowledges.

“I was really hoping I was wrong,” Steve says. “The thought crossed my mind when you didn’t show up for Mass this morning.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Bucky bows his head somewhat in shame. He hadn’t missed a Sunday Mass since he was twenty-one years old.

Steve studies him for a minute, ultimately deciding not to say any more about Mass. “So, you made a mistake. It doesn’t have to be the end. You’ve worked so hard for this, Bucky. Don’t throw it all away; not over this.”

“The thing is, Steve, I don’t feel like it was a mistake.”

“What was it then?”

“The start of something that I always wanted. Ya know, before.”

Steve nods, understanding exactly what Bucky is saying. Before the accident. Before the breakup. Before Bucky lost trust in everyone. Before Steve helped pick up the pieces and get his life turned around. Steve sighs heavily, sitting down on the bed and urging Bucky to join him. “You know I’m not going to just let this go without a long conversation, right?”

“I know,” Bucky agrees, fully understanding as he sat down next to the blonde. He’d expected as much from his best friend. He would at least indulge him. “I would be concerned if you just let it go without a fight.”

Later Bucky has a similar conversation with his family. He looks exhausted by the time he makes it back to your apartment where he’d spent the previous night. You simply suggest a quiet evening in so he can relax. You know that the day hadn’t been easy on him no matter how much he had made up his mind already.

“So how did the conversation go with your family?” You ask, cuddling up to his side as you sit on your living room couch. “Do they hate me?”

He glances down at you, his eyes shining. “No, doll, they don’t hate you. I think Ma was a little disappointed because I was so close to the finish line, but she understands, and she’s glad that it happened now instead of later. Later would have been so much worse.”

“What about Steve?” You ask, wondering how his best friend took the news that he’d be continuing on their journey alone.

Bucky sighs. “He wasn’t really surprised. I guess he did have a front row seat to what was happening between us over the whole summer. Of course, he wanted to know that I was certain, and made sure that I’ve thought of every scenario. I mean, we did just spend the last seven years of our lives working towards this goal.”

You feel a sting of guilt as you listen to Bucky explain his conversation with Steve. It was true, he had worked so hard; dedicated most of his life to others, and then he just threw it all away. For you. You can’t help but ask yourself, what if you’re not worth it?

“But ultimately, I think he just wants me to be happy.”

“And are you happy?” You ask as your fingers play with the buttons on Bucky’s shirt.

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he shifts slightly, tilting your chin up with a single curled finger. He looks into your eyes and suddenly you forget how to breathe. His blue orbs are so intense. “What do you think?”

You smile, leaning in to close the distance between you. As your lips meet, you sigh contentedly. You, yourself, haven’t felt this happy in a long time. Slowly the kiss deepens, and he pulls you into his lap. His hands land on the small of your back as you sit astride his thighs. Carefully, your hands move to tangle in his thick hair. You love feeling the dark locks threading between your fingers. It’s become quite a habit over the last two days.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he murmurs as your lips leave his in favor of moving to his neck.

“Bedroom?” You ask anxiously.

He doesn’t waste any time standing up with you still wrapped around him. He carries you down the hallway to your bedroom and drops you to the bed where you land with a slight bounce. You watch excitedly as he pulls his tee shirt over his head, baring that gloriously chiseled torso for your viewing pleasure. You bite your lip, watching as he reaches to unbuckle his belt before his fingers begin to work deftly at the button on his jeans. You’re completely mesmerized by the way his metal arm moves effortlessly right along with his flesh one. It turns you on probably more than it should.

Once he’s stripped down to his black, boxer-briefs, he crawls onto the bed where you’re still lying. “I think you’re a little over dressed, doll.”

You lift an eyebrow and a slow grin forms on your lips as his hands slide up your thighs going for the buttons on your jeans as well. You’re perfectly content with letting him undress you. Piece by piece he rids you of your clothing until you’re clad only in pink, lace panties and a matching bra. He pauses for a moment to admire the vision before him. You try not to feel uncomfortable as his gaze travels over your body. He makes that easier for you though. The smile that creeps onto his lips as he takes you in, tells you that he definitely likes what he sees. “Are you going to stare at me all day or finish what you started?”

He wastes no more time, joining you on the bed. You whimper softly as his mouth covers yours once more in a fervent kiss as his hands travel up your sides. You shiver as you do every time the cool metal meets your skin. Your fingers find their way into his hair as he moves his mouth to your jaw where he kisses and nips a path down to your neck.

He takes his time moving farther down, kissing the tops of your breast without disturbing the lace that covers them.  He trails kisses over your stomach, dipping the tip of his tongue into your belly button before moving on. For someone who has been out of the game for so long, he has amazing skill.

His fingers hook in the elastic band of your panties and you lift your hips as he pulls them down. Slowly, he begins planting kisses along your legs, sucking and nibbling gently on your inner thighs, teasing you as he takes his time.

You feel your body reacting to every single touch. You need more. “Bucky,” you whine. “Stop teasing.”

He glances up at you, his eyes dark and mischievous. “What’s wrong babydoll? You need something?”

You groan at the sound of his voice all low and sexy. You feel yourself clenching at the thought. “Yes…”

“Tell me what you need.”

“Ugh!” Your eyes meet his. “I need your mouth on me. Now.”

“My mouth is on you, doll,” he explains as he presses another kiss to your thigh.

“No… I need it… On… Ugh… On my pussy, Bucky. I want your mouth on my pussy.”

A slow smirk forms. “Oh… I see. Well… You know, patience is virtue, babydoll.”

You fist your fingers in the sheets as his hands glide slowly up your legs, thumbs grazing lightly over the junctions where your thighs meet your pelvis. “Bucky…”

Your breath catches in your throat when you feel the sudden swipe of his tongue across your pussy. You hear him groan low and sexy as his tongue glides slickly over you once more as if he’s getting a better taste. Then he presses both hands against your pelvis, holding you firmly as he begins to lick greedily. You whimper in sheer delight. The tickle of his beard brushing against your skin feels wonderful and exciting, and his tongue is like velvet against your heat.

Lust filled grunts and snarls can be heard as he devours you, obviously enjoying what he’s doing to you. Your hands find the back of his head; fingers weaving into his dark locks in need of something to hang onto as his tongue suddenly plunges deep inside you. You pull your knees back, lifting your legs slightly to give him better access, because you need more of that.

“Oooh! Please don’t stop,” you whine as he laps hungrily at your entrance, pressing in as deeply as he can with each pass of his tongue. “Yeeeessss!!!! Please… Oh God…Bucky!”

He moans in pure delight giving you one more long lap before his tongue swipes roughly over your clit, teasing the small nub before drawing it between his lips. You press your head back into the pillows as your eyes roll back slightly. “Oh my…fuck, Bucky, yes!” You tug at his hair as he sucks persistently and begins to circle your entrance with the tip of his finger.  

You can feel the slow burn arising in the pit of your stomach and steadily spreading lower. You’re going to come soon; you can feel it as your insides begin to quiver and tighten. You try to warn him, but he pays you no mind. Instead he thrust two fingers into your silky wetness, rubbing just the right spot.

“Oh Christ!” You cry out as your body begins to convulse under his touch. “Yes! Right there! Oh fuck yes!!!!” Your orgasm hits you hard and you clench around Bucky’s fingers as your body shakes with pleasure.

Bucky continues to thrust his fingers in and out of you as he kisses his way back up your body, his eyes meet with yours. They’re dark and penetrating. You shiver at the thought of what’s going on in his brain. “Anyone ever tell you that you have a dirty, dirty mouth?” He asks, his breath ghosting along your jawbone as his fingers finally slide from within you, leaving a wet trail as he slides his hand up to rest on your side.

“Are you going to punish me for it?” You challenge with a grin of your own.

Bucky pauses to look down at you, as he ponders your question. “Later,” he finally decides. “Right now, I really need to be inside you.”

You feel the evidence of just how badly he needs to be inside you, straining against the leg that he’s currently straddling. “Ohh, I can tell, baby,” you purr, sliding your hands down over his back until your hands slip beneath the waist band of his underwear. “Let me take care of you.”

As your hands grip his bare ass, you move to roll over, encouraging him to his back where you continue ridding him of his underwear. You lick your lips at the sight of him lying there, completely naked and at your mercy. You contemplate taking your time with him; tasting and teasing every inch of that gorgeous, muscle laden body, but you decide against it. There will be time for that later. Right now, his long, thick cock stands at attention, weeping with need and demanding your attention. You lift a brow and your eyes meet his. “You really enjoyed going down on me, huh, Bucky?”

His only response is a coy smile and slight nod which makes you wonder just how naughty he was before he thought about going into the priesthood. You reach out, wrapping your fingers gently around his heavily-veined shaft and his eyes flutter shut as a soft sigh leaves his lips. You stroke him gently a few times, spreading slick pre-cum over the head before moving to straddle his thighs. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to take good care of you.”

Bucky mutters something in a language that you don’t understand as you rub your wetness over the tip of his cock, teasing slightly before sinking down on him with one slow drive. Your mouth falls open but no sound escapes at first as you feel the burn of stretching around him. “Oh my God, Barnes… I fucking love how big your dick is,” you tell him as if you haven’t had him inside you before. You moan scandalously until every last inch of him is sheathed inside of you and your ass is resting against his thighs.

Bucky’s hands have moved to your hips and his eyes are closed as he bites at his lower lip, trying not to thrust his hips, letting you keep control. You can tell by the way he’s breathing it is taking everything that he has not to react. You grin, clenching your walls tightly around him. “Jesus!” he hisses, as his eyes fly open in shock. “Oh… Baby…,” he sighs. “Please…”

You feel his fingers digging into your hips and you know he’s desperate for you to move. You smile down at him as you very slowly begin to rock your hips, rolling them just slightly to create a bit of friction at first. Then gradually, you begin to lift your hips a little more each time. “Hmm, baby… You feel so good inside me. I could ride you like this all day long,” you tell him as you toss your head back and press your hand against his stomach.   

You smile down at him as his metal hand moves from your hip to you stomach. At first, he had been hesitant to touch you much with it, but now, after a few rounds of amazing sex, you’ve convinced him that you like it. Gently, he moves it upwards until he’s sliding a finger under the thin strip of lace between your breast. With a simple twist and one sudden yank, the lace rips, and you gasp in astonishment as he pushes the bra off your shoulders.

He smiles, watching as your eyes flutter shut and you bite your bottom lip at the touch of both his hands cupping your breast and rolling your nipples between skilled fingers. You shudder, enjoying the sensation as it ripples through your whole body. While he continues to fondle your breast, you wrap your hands around his wrist; holding on as you begin riding him harder. “Oh, Bucky…I….” You moan moments later as you begin to lose balance and tip forward. 

You barely have time to register what’s happening as Bucky takes control of the situation and pulls you down on top of him. He quickly rolls you to your back and continues thrusting into you without disturbing the rhythm you’d already created. “Oh, doll,” he groans, his face buried in the crook of your neck. “You feel so good.”

“Yeah?” You pant, feeling another orgasm quickly building inside you. “So, do you, baby. Fuck… so do you…” You grab his head and guide his lips to yours.

When he kisses you, it’s hot and needy and his breath comes in short gasps synced with each lunge of his hips. “I’m so close…” he whispers, his eyes drifting shut as his forehead rests against yours.

You feel the cool metal of his hand sliding down your body and you cry out as it suddenly rubs against your clit. “Bucky…”

“Come on doll,” he encourages, still rubbing the swollen nub as he thrust deeply into you. “Come for me. I want to feel you all over my cock.”

Your eyes widen at his words and that’s all it takes to make you come undone. “Oh God!” You wail, digging your fingers into his shoulder as your body arches off the bed and your pussy squeezes tightly around Bucky.

He grins, relishing in the success of making you come so quickly, but it’s short lived as his own orgasm comes quickly and he’s growling with his release. You whimper feeling him quiver as he presses into you with everything he has until the last of his seed spills into you, and he finally becomes a dead weight on top of you.

Neither of you move for a moment. You take a moment to catch your breath as you run your fingers through his sweaty hair. You feel his breath heavy against your neck and it takes you a second to realize that he’s laughing. “What’s funny?”

“If you could have seen the look on your face when I said cock…”


	5. Chapter Five

“Come on, baby! Please?” You ask, holding up the garment that you just found in Bucky’s closet. You were in New York helping him pack up his things from the apartment that he’d shared with Steve for a while. Steve had flown back the week before to take his vows and be ordained as planned, but Bucky had stayed behind to spend a bit of alone time with you. It was an amazing week to say the least. “Wear it for me, just once?”

“Sweetheart,” Bucky glares at you. “Wouldn’t it be even just a little bit weird or uncomfortable for you?”

“Bucky…” You purr, moving closer to him with a smirk. “I assure you that I’ll find it hot and extremely, sexy.”

“So,” he asks, “if I put this on for you; if I play this role, what do I get in return?”

“Oh, baby boy, what I have in store for you will _blow_ your mind.” You put emphasis on that promise by licking your lips seductively and glancing down to his belt buckle as you slide your arms around his waist.

Bucky shakes his head, grinning with amusement as he pulls you into a full embrace. His hands travel down until they touch the back of your bare thighs before sliding back up beneath the short skirt you’re wearing. “Promises, promises…,” he murmurs before dropping his head to kiss you.

Several moments later, you have Bucky convinced, and he’s now dressed in a black suit, complete with a crisp, white, clerical collar; sitting anxiously in the armchair in his bedroom. You take a long moment to admire him. The image of how you imagined him in that outfit doesn’t even compare to the real thing. You can’t even think of the right words to describe just how sexy he looks.

In addition to the way that suit hugs him in all the right places, his slightly tousled brown hair is just long enough that you’re constantly wanting to feather your fingers through it.  His perfectly, pouty lips that have kissed you all over, is framed beautifully by the neatly trimmed beard that tickles and burns when it brushes against your sensitive skin. And then there is something positively alluring in the way Bucky is looking at you; his crystal-blue eyes are both warm and inviting, as well as cool and daring. You simply cannot help how much you want this man.

Finally, after staring him down and savoring every detail about this look, you move to stand behind the armchair. Leaning over you begin to whisper your confession. “Father Barnes,” you tease, letting your lips barely brush against the skin beneath his ear. “I’ve been a very naughty girl.”

“Yeah?” Bucky squirms just a little in his chair. “Confess your sins, doll.”

“I’ve lusted after a man, Father,” you begin. “I’ve been thinking really dirty things about him,” you whisper as you slide your tongue along the thick leader in his neck. “And I want to do filthy things to him.”

“Details…” Bucky says, with another grin spreading across his lips. “How bad are your thoughts?”

You smile, glad that he’s not too uncomfortable to play along with your sinful game. Easily, you go into a very truthful, heavily detailed, and scandalously seductive spiel about all the things that you want to do to or with Bucky. All the while, your hands busy themselves by sliding aimlessly over his torso, making sure that your nails rake over his nipples with every pass. You grin when you notice a tent starting to form in his pants.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he finally breaks his silence, grabbing your hand in his own. He gently tugs, encouraging you to move from behind the chair. “I think you should get down on your knees and ask for forgiveness.”

“On my knees, Father Barnes?”

“Yes, doll. On your knees. You’re going to have a lot of repenting to do while you’re down there.”

Your eyes meet his. You see his desire and you bite at your lip, knowing without a doubt you have him exactly where you wanted him all along. Slowly, you sink to your knees between his slightly spread thighs. The course carpet is rough against your bare legs, but you don’t have the time to care. You smile, seeing that his fingers are already busy working on his belt buckle as your hands slide up his legs, needing to feel the thick, hard muscles beneath the black fabric. Good Lord, his thighs were something of wonder. You choke back a moan and continue sliding your hands upward.

Bucky growls lowly when your fingers brush against his arousal and you reach to help free him from the confines of his pants. No matter how many times you’ve seen him in all his naked glory, you’re still impressed by his cock. Much like Bucky, himself, it’s thick and sturdy and you want to devour every inch of it.

Your glance up at him through half-lidded eyes as you take him in your hand. He’s staring at you; his blue eyes are dark with anticipation. That look, along with what he’s wearing has to be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You know that it’s wrong on so many levels, but you simply don’t care.

“Show me how sorry you are,” he demands.

Slowly, you slide your fingers up and down his length. You can feel the ripple of veins against your palm as your hand moves over the heated skin. There is already a dollop of pre-cum pooled on the head, so you lean forward, collecting it with a gentle lap of your tongue. Then, you press your lips to the underside, planting a kiss against the base before sliding your tongue over the prominent vein that spans all the way to the tip.

As you take your time licking and kissing over his full length, you glance up to see that Bucky has his bottom lip caught between his teeth and he’s watching you keenly. Your eyes meet as you open your mouth to take him in. “Mmm,” you moan as tip slides inside, hot and heavy against your tongue.

He mumbles something inaudible, and you begin sliding your lips down the shaft. You hum softly as your head begins to bob, taking him in and out of your warm, wet mouth. “Oh… Doll,” he sighs when the head of his cock begins to bump against the back of your throat. “So good, baby…”

After a few moments, you pull your lips away, needing to rest your jaw. You wrap your fingers around him and work him with both hands, stroking and twisting as you kiss the tip and swirl your tongue around it. “Mmm, Father Barnes…” you purr, as you watch your hands glide over his cock.  “You taste so good.”

As you lean back in to reattach your lips to his firm shaft, you feel his hands on your head. His fingers tangle in your hair as you take him back into your mouth. Gently, he guides you up and down, tugging and pulling slightly at your locks. “Yes, doll…” he growls while watching his cock repeatedly disappear into the hollow of your mouth. “That’s it…”

You glance up, meeting Bucky’s eyes again for a moment before he lets his head fall back against the chair with a look of pure ecstasy on his face. You feel encouraged upon hearing him whimpering and mumbling almost incoherently about how incredible your mouth is, so you relax your throat and take him further inside.

“Oh, yes…” he cries as his back arches slightly. “Yes... Take all of it.”

You comply, taking him deep into your throat over and over until it hurts. Then finally, with a breathless gasp you pull your mouth off of him. “Bucky… Father Barnes… I…”

Bucky looks down at you, his breathing labored as he takes his own cock in his hand; the metal hand. He begins to pump it slowly as a seductive smile spreads over his lips. “Yes, doll?”

“I think I’m ready for my punishment.”

Bucky tilts his head slightly, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he studies you for a moment. “Stand up.”

Carefully, and on somewhat shaky legs, you rise to your feet, waiting for his next command.

“Turn around.” He waits until you’ve turned around before he tells you what to do next.

Heat rises in your cheeks as you bend over to slowly remove your panties. You want to glance back at Bucky, to see the look on his face as he watches. You know he’s still stroking his cock and you hear him groan softly as you expose yourself to him.

“Good girl,” he compliments as you stand back up and turn around, tossing your panties to the side. “Now come here. Bend over my lap,” he finally instructs.

You obey, feeling an excitement that you’ve never quite felt before. You try to relax a bit as you lay over Bucky’s lap, waiting for whatever comes next.

“You’ve been so naughty, sweetheart,” he says, his voice low and gruff. You feel his flesh hand against your ass, caressing it softly. “I think a good spanking might teach you a lesson. Yes?”

You close your eyes and a shudder ripples down your spine at the very thought of Bucky Barnes spanking you. “Yes, Father.”

His hand abruptly leaves you, only to return a second later with a sharp slap against your left cheek. You cry out in shock, and to your delight, you feel your body reacting positively to the sting. By the time the second swat hits your right cheek the sting of the first has completely dissipated. “Thank you, Father,” you gasp as his hand connects for a third time. “Forgive me, Father.”

Bucky spanks each cheek a few more times before he stops to rub his palm over your undoubtably red ass, easing the burn. “Have you had enough?” He asks, letting his fingers dip between your legs to feel how wet you are. “Oh, you liked being spanked. Didn’t you, doll?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Father Barnes,” you nearly moan, feeling two long fingers push easily inside you. You bite your lower lip whimpering as he begins working them languidly in and out of your body for several long moments.

“Up,” he demands suddenly as he withdraws his fingers.

It takes you a second to register the command, but you manage to stand back up. Bucky looks at you, his eyes are dark, and his pupils are blown. You glance down at his cock which is still gripped in metal fingers. It’s weeping.

“Sit on it,” he tells you as he slouches down in the chair. “Stay on it until I come.”

How can you say no to a demand like that? Straddling his lap, you reach to guide his length to your entrance. “Like this, Father?’

“Yes, Doll,” he sighs as you slide down, your body yielding to him, inch by delightful inch. “Ugh… You’re so tight.” His eyes seem to go even darker as the wet heat of your body envelopes him completely.

After a moment of allowing yourself to get used to feeling so full, you begin to slowly roll your hips and a whine escapes your lips. “Oh! Father Barnes,” you whimper, appreciating the way he stretches you. “Such a big dick for my tiny, little pussy.”

“That tiny, little pussy better make me come,” he reminds you with eyes of steel as his hands reach to unbutton your blouse. He immediately cups both of your breast, lifting and squeezing slightly before he tugs your bra down to free them of their confines. His hands feel so good on your skin, his touch is soft and yet somehow firm. You moan in sheer bliss as he teases your nipples; pinching, tugging, and rolling them beneath his thumbs. He continues to tweak both while leaning back into the cushions, allowing you to set the pace.

At first, your movements are slow and shallow. You move gradually, grinding on Bucky’s cock while watching him concentrate hard on his hands that are still on your tits. You smile, wondering if he can actually keep his cool and make you do all the work. It is, after all, his idea of your punishment; but you tend to believe that a good, hard fucking from him could be considered punishment as well.

“Mmm,” you groan, tilting forward to press your palms against his shoulders. You lift your hips, slipping nearly off of Bucky’s cock before dropping them back down. “God, it feels so good…” You breathe as your eyes drift shut and you find a solid rhythm.

Bucky’s hands soon fall to your hips, holding onto you, guiding you up and down. His fingers dig into your flesh. “That’s it, doll. Ride my cock…” his voice is rough, and his breathing is becoming a bit ragged. “Make me come deep in that tight little pussy.”

You shiver and a desperate whine escapes your lips. The sound of his voice, the words he’s saying, the blissed-out look on his face, and most definitely the fact that he’s still fully dressed as _Father Barnes_ is too nearly much for you. You feel your orgasm bubbling up, low in your stomach. “Oh, shit, Bucky,” you slip up. “I’m… I’m gonna…”

“Go for it, doll…” he says in that still rough, sexy tone while moving a hand around to rub your clit. “I love the way you feel around my dick when you come.”

“Oh! Fuck,” you growl, knowing it won’t be much longer as his thumb rubs circles around your clit. He soon has you seeing stars as he takes your over the edge. His name is on your lips again as your body arches and trembles with release.

Bucky groans helplessly, as you clench tightly around his now impossibly hard cock. With a steadying breath, you begin moving again, but this time with more purpose. You need to make him come undone.

His mouth falls open and his head tips back as you move above him. Within moments, his hands are gripping your hips harder and his body is becoming ridged. It’s a beautiful sight to behold as he lets go.

In the next moments, everything is still, and the only thing heard in the room is the sound of your breathing returning to normal. You’re still in his lap, and he’s staring up at you, a look of pure euphoria on his face. “Fuck, Bucky, do you know how hot you are right now? Jesus, baby….”

“There you go with that filthy mouth again.”

You lift a brow in amusement. “I just fucked a priest. Do you think my mouth is what’s going to send me to hell?”

Bucky looks stunned for a second, but then his laughter becomes music to your ears. An intense warmth fills your soul at that very moment, and you’re sure you’ve just fallen completely in love. Could he be any more perfect?

You lean in closer to him, slipping your arms around his neck. You run your fingers through his sweat dampened, hair before tangling them in the dark-brown locks. The look you share says more than any words could possibly express at that point in time.

When your lips meet, you groan with satisfaction. His tongue darts out to meet yours and it’s hot and erotic and the role playing is finally over. You just want Bucky.

He moves his hands from your sides, reaching up to cup your face urgently with both hands as you kiss. This goes on for several long moments until you both hear a loud thump in the hallway that prompts you to pull away. You look at Bucky with wide eyes.

“Steve must be home,” he says nonchalantly.

You look around towards the bedroom door, realizing that neither of you bothered to make sure it was closed before starting this little soiree. Carefully, you climb off of Bucky’s lap, reaching to fix your bra and button your shirt while Bucky tucks himself back into his pants. Bending over, you grab your panties from the floor. You opt to use them to clean the remnants of sex from your thighs, at least what hadn’t ended up on Bucky’s lap. You roll your eyes at yourself as you realize that the duffle bag with all your clean underwear is still in the living room. “Shit,” you say softly.

“Ok, so…” Bucky says as he also stands, “you go say hello to Steve and keep him occupied while I get cleaned up and change clothes.”

Immediately, you understand that Bucky doesn’t want Steve to ever find out that he just desecrated the holy garb that he’d been so passionate about only months ago. You agree, but don’t leave the room without stepping in to give Bucky one more kiss.

You find Steve in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. You have to pause for a brief second as you take in his attire. He’s dressed exactly the way Bucky was when you left him. You feel your cheeks burn just a bit at the thought that just crossed your mind. “Hey, Steve!” you greet as he suddenly turns, having felt your presence.

He looks a bit panicked at first, but soon recovers. “H-hey…” The way he says your name causes you to lift a curious brow all previous thought erased from your mind as you stare him down.

“You didn’t seriously forget my name, did you? It’s only been a few weeks!”

A look of relief washes over Steve’s face and he blushes. “Of course not! How have you been?” He steps a bit closer and gives you a quick hug. One that was nothing like you were used to getting from him. Yep. Something was definitely going on with him. You can’t help but wonder what it is. You think maybe it’s because he has more to say about you corrupting his best friend, but he’s too nice to actually do it. Perhaps he really is mad at you.

“You ok?”

“What?”

“You seem nervous.”

“Oh.” He furrows his brow and sighs. “Sorry. I’m just not sure how to act around you right now. You know, now that I’m actually a priest, I have to be careful not to overstep boundaries.”

“Steve,” you say, feeling a little put off by his excuse. “I’m your friend. The boundaries are the same as they were before you were a bonified priest.”

“Maybe for you,” he replies with a pained look on his face.

You sigh, realizing that maybe things did have to change. How would this really affect his relationship with Bucky? Bucky had said that it wouldn’t, but now you’re not so sure. “Ok. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…”

“No, I’m sorry. I mean…”

“What he means,” Bucky said as he walked into the room. “Is that you’re female. He has to be careful so that people, mainly the church, don’t get the wrong impression.”

You look around at Bucky who has changed into jeans and a t-shirt. Then you look back to Steve who is already busying himself with putting the ground coffee and filters back in the cupboard. You wanted to argue that point because obviously you were in the privacy of Steve’s home. However, you don’t. Instead, you just take a seat at the small dining table and ask if he’s making enough coffee for you too.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this chapter... at least the last half of it, came out of nowhere. I promise, the next chapter won't be so porny…

The rest of your visit with Steve had gone well. He did take the time to make sure that you knew that he wasn’t upset with you for causing Bucky to change his mind about the priesthood. That actually made you feel infinitely better, of course. You didn’t really like the thought of Steve having any resentment towards you. Over the summer he’d become far too important to you. You’d put him right up there in the chosen family category along with Katrina.

While you and Bucky were New York, you were able to help Steve pack up the rest of the apartment. Since he was newly ordained and had been given a temporary assignment with one of the local parishes, he would be moving into a rectory house.

Now, nearly ten months later, things are going great for you and Bucky. Bucky had moved into your place right after you got back which gave you a sense of purpose. Like you now have a reason to go home instead of working ridiculous hours at the newspaper all the time. He even started a new job.

There was a local motorcycle repair shop that was in need of a mechanic. You had no idea that Bucky even knew how to be a mechanic, but you had a lot to learn about him, much of which you are still learning. And honestly, you don’t really mind him coming home all filthy dirty with the lingering scent of motor oil clinging to him. There was something incredibly sexy about it.

The only thing that concerned you was his renewed interest in bikes. Maybe you were just being paranoid, but you didn’t want to have any setbacks with his PTSD if he were to ever get back on one. So far so good though. The only vehicle he bought was a classic Chevy Camaro in candy-apple red with t-tops. Honestly, you love that car as much as he does so it was a win-win.

Katrina still teases you both mercilessly about how you corrupted her sweet, innocent cousin. Sometimes it’s a little much, but Bucky always manages to reassure you that it had been his decision and he doesn’t regret it at all. In fact, he often says how glad he is that he didn’t go through with it as planned. That bit of added information also makes you feel better. Maybe you saved him from a lifetime of regret.

You know he misses Steve. He is his best friend, after all. They’ve been through a lot together and it is completely natural for Bucky to mourn the loss of that closeness. But at least they talk regularly, and Steve is going to be around soon because he is taking a month-long vacation and will be staying at the apartment with you and Bucky.

“So, when is Steven coming?” Katrina asks as she sits at the dining room table with you and Bucky. It’s a Sunday afternoon and you’ve invited her over for brunch.

“His flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. He should be here tomorrow evening,” Bucky explains. “Why?”

“Well, now that I know that it is actually possible to get a priest to be bad, I wanna try again.”

Bucky gives his cousin a warning glare. “Leave Steve alone.”

“But I…”

“Steve is off limits, Katrina.”

You raise your brow at Bucky’s stern insistence. “I think he holds his own pretty well with Katrina,” you joke.

“It’s different now,” Bucky scoffs. “Before it was fun and games, but not anymore. Steve has so much to lose even if a rumor gets started.” Bucky sits up a little straighter in his chair. “There is nothing funny or dignified about excommunication.”

“That’s real?” Katrina asks.

“Very real,” Bucky assures her. “So, please don’t mess with him. Especially since all you want is to sleep with him.”

Katrina pouts. She knows that Bucky is right. She has no real feelings for Steve other than those of a pure physical lust. “Fine…”

You smile at Katrina, knowing that Bucky just burst her bubble. “It will be ok, Kat. There will be other aspiring priest for you to get your hands on.”

“Yeah, but none as hot as Steve.”

You agree with a “Probably not,” before you think about it and Bucky fixes his eyes on you in a questioning stare. “What?”

“You think Steve is hot?”

“Uh…” you stammer. “I’m human, and I have eyes.”

“Huh…” he concludes without another question on the matter.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous Buck,” Katrina teases. “Trust me, this one only had eyes for you.”

Bucky smirks. “I’m not jealous.”

However, the look in his eyes tells you that while he might not be jealous, the idea of you finding his best friend ‘hot’ is something he isn’t going to let go of easily. You also notice Katrina narrowing her eyes at her cousin, and you wonder what that’s about. Unfortunately, before you get the chance to ask, Katrina smiles brightly and changes the subject. “So, what are you two love-birds going to do the rest of the day?”

“Probably Netflix and chill,” Bucky replies, winking at you over the cup of tea he’s bringing to his lips.

“Yeah, we’ve been binge watching a lot of sitcoms,” you agree, ignoring Bucky’s blatant inuendo.

“Uh-huh,” Katrina nods her head, obviously not buying it. “Well thanks for having me over, but I really need to jet. I’m supposed to meet a guy later, about a thing,” she explains with a waggle of her eyebrows. “I need to go home and shower and get ready, you know?”

She leans over to hug you goodbye as she stands. Then she pats Bucky on the shoulder as she leaves. “Later, cuz.”

“What is with you today?” You ask once she is gone. You stand up to start clearing the table as you wait for his answer. Bucky has been in a chipper mood all day, and aside from the one serious moment of the day when he was warning Katrina to leave Steve alone; he’s been awfully suggestive, and not really careful to hide it.

“What do you mean?”

“Netflix and chill? Why didn’t you just tell Katrina we were going to go at it like rabbits once she’s gone?”

Bucky snickers. “Maybe I really do want to watch some Netflix.”

“I know that look, Bucky.”

He laughs softly, crossing his arms on the table. “Ok, you got me. I don’t want to watch TV.”

“I figured as much,” you say with a teasing smile. “And here I thought I was the nympho in our relationship.”

“I’ve got years of catching up to do.”

You nearly snort as laughter bubbles up suddenly. “You got a deadline for getting rid of all that pent-up sexual tension?”

“Nah, but I figure we should make the best out of our last day alone considering we won’t be able to once Steve gets here.”

You pause putting the dishes in the sink. “What do you mean?” Bucky shrugs. “Well, I just… I mean, he is a priest. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable, ya know?”

“Um…” you sit back down at the table, waiting for more of an explanation. “What exactly does this not-making-Steve-uncomfortable thing entail?”

“Just,” Bucky sighs heavily. “I don’t think we should have sex while he’s here.”

“What?” You nearly laugh at his proposal. The two of you can barely contain it for a few days and now he wants to go a whole month without sex? He must be out of his mind. But then again, he has done it before. He was celibate for seven whole years. He should be a master. “So not sex at all while he’s here? I mean, it’s not like we would be making him watch.”

Bucky chuckles at your point. “No… But have you heard yourself? I don’t want him hearing us either.”

“Are you saying I’m too loud?”

Bucky reaches out, grabbing your hand with his flesh one. “No. I’m not saying that at all. I just think we should have some restraint while he’s here. It’s not fair to him.”

“He chose this life, Bucky. Just like you did.”

“I know. But I still want to show him respect. I mean, I do respect him and what he does. You know that, right?”

You sigh. Of course, you knew that, and you knew that Bucky was right. It would be so cruel and unkind of you to flaunt your sexual relationship in front of him or even in his vicinity. “I know. And you’re right. But a whole month, Buck?”

He grins. “I’m sure he won’t be in the apartment all the time.”

“Mind if I kick him out occasionally?”

“I imagine he would catch on.”

“Fine. I guess I’m going to try to keep my hands off of you.”

“It feels weird saying thank you for that,” Bucky says with a furrowed brow. “But thank you?”

“Oh, don’t mention it,” you reply, waving him off.

“So, about the next twelve hours or so… You got any plans?”

You smirk, knowing this month isn’t going to easy for him either. “None that involve clothes.”

And that is all the answer Bucky needs before he swiftly carries you off to the bedroom where you end spending the rest of the day. If there is one thing that you have learned about Bucky Barnes, it’s that he’s a phenomenal lover. He’s attentive and passionate. He can be soft, slow, and gentle or sometimes when you need it, he can hard, fast, and rough. However, most of the time, he creates the perfect balance of both; and it’s wonderful.

This was one of those times. After the first hurried round and a much needed nap, he’d taken his time, caressed you little by little, and made you feel absolutely everything. Now as you lay curled up next to him, entirely sated; your fingers lace with his metal ones as they rest on his stomach. “I have a question,” you say, making him glance down at you from where he is leaning against the headboard. “Before your accident; before seminary, um, how… how adventurous were you?’

“Adventurous?” Bucky asks. “You mean in general or in bed?”

You look up at him, your eyes meeting his. “You know what I mean.”

He is amused by your question; you can tell by the sudden mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Well how adventurous are you? Really?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I’m willing to try anything once.”

He smirks at your answer. “Anything?”

There was a second that you almost reconsidered your answer, but this was Bucky. You are pretty sure you are down for anything with him. “Pretty much, yeah.” You notice how his eyes seem to light up even more, obviously excited by your answer. “Why? Do you have something specific in mind?”

“Maybe,” he replies, “but right now, I think we both need to sleep, or we won’t make it in to work in the morning.”

You sigh heavily in disappointment. He now has your curiosity piqued and your imagination is running rampant. “Lame excuse, Buck.”

“Well,” he begins with a laugh. “For what I want to do, we need time.”

“Are you at least going to give me a hint?”

“No.” He leans over and places a light peck on your forehead before snuggling down in the bed and pulling the covers further up over both of you. “Goodnight.”

“Jerk,” you say with a smile, hearing him chuckle at your name calling.

The next day at work while you’re sitting at your desk, you can’t help that your mind keeps wandering to the conversation you had with Bucky the night before. It’s not conducive to your workday because you have a deadline and you’re getting very little accomplished. You pick up your phone to send him a quick text about how you can’t concentrate because of him.

He immediately responds with, “Sorry, babe… but the fact that you’re all hot and bothered has got me intrigued. Are you imagining all the possibilities?”

You groan inwardly as you stare at his response. “You’re such an ass.”

He doesn’t reply with words. Instead he sends the emoji that looks like it’s pondering followed by the kissy-face emoji and a peach. It does make you laugh, and you reply with a simple, “Love you, Jerk. See you in a few hours.” You waited for a moment before adding another text. “Don’t forget Steve!”

Later that evening when you arrive home with take out, Bucky and Steve are already there. They’re lounging on the couch each with a beer in hand as they catch up with each other. Bucky had obviously taken the time to shower and change out of his work clothes, opting for jeans and a tee. And you notice that Steve is wearing casual jeans and a polo shirt. That’s a far cry from what you last saw him in. You wave and say hello to Steve before taking the bags of food into the kitchen. When you return, Steve is already halfway to you with arms spread wide.

You accept his hug, laughing at his eagerness. “Wow, did you miss me or something?”

“Of course, I did. I missed you all. I’m so glad to be back here for a while.”

“Well, we’re glad to have you. I hope you’re making yourself at home?”

“Yeah. And thanks. I really appreciate you letting me crash here.”

“No problem. Anyway, I brought Mexican. You hungry?”

“I’m starved,” Bucky says, finally getting up from his spot on the couch. “Did you remember my chalupas?”

“Of course,” you reply. “One doesn’t make that mistake twice.”

The three of you make your way into the kitchen where Bucky begins unpacking the food and you go to the cabinet to get plates to set the table. All of you settle into easy conversation and it reminds you of last summer. It had been an amazing summer, getting to know these guys, but so much has changed since then, you weren’t quite sure what to expect.

It warms your heart seeing Steve and Bucky pick up their friendship as if nearly an entire year hadn’t passed since they’d seen each other. That’s what friendship was about.

Over the next several days, everything becomes routine. You and Bucky go to work as usual while Steve hangs out around the apartment or goes to visit other friends or to the parish. Then you spend the evenings hanging out, having dinner, or doing something fun. More often than not, when you go out, you invite Katrina to go along. Much to your surprise, she keeps her cool around Steve, obviously heeding what her cousin had told her. You’re pretty sure Steve appreciates the new version of Katrina as well. He still teases her and calls her squirt though.

It’s now Thursday night on the second week that Steve has been home. You suggest going to a movie, but it seems that he has already made plans with Bishop Phillips at St. Mary’s. That’s more than ok with you. It means that you and Bucky can have a date night. He’s happy to oblige.  

You take a little extra time getting ready tonight. You perfect your make up and choose one of your favorite outfits. It’s a flowery, summer dress that’s cut just above your knees with the zipper in the front. As you put on a pair of white, slip-on sneakers, you smile, hoping that Bucky will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

You then go to the movies, just the two of you. Bucky buys you snacks and holds your hand throughout the movie. It makes you feel oddly like a teenager again. It’s not a bad feeling by any means. As a teen you could have only dreamed of a date like Bucky. Halfway through the movie, you find yourself staring at him. God, he’s so beautiful, you think as you take in his profile. He’s watching the movie intently, laughing at some lame joke.

He looks at you, as if he is about to ask you something, but he’s shocked to see you staring at him instead of the screen. “What?”

“Just admiring the view,” you whisper.

You feel his thumb rubbing circles on your hand as he glances back at the screen for a second before turning back to you. “You wanna get out of here?”

You can only nod, because he saw exactly what you were thinking and now, he’s thinking it too. You can’t get to Bucky’s car fast enough. Once inside, he leans across the console and cups your face in his hands. “Tell me where?”

Your mind races, trying to think of a place to go that’s private and secluded. “Um, the overlook on Dartmouth Road?”

He nods, finally closing the space between your lips. You sigh into the kiss, reveling in how hot and needy it is. “God, I want you,” he murmurs as he pulls away to start the car.

It only takes about fifteen minutes to reach your destination. Bucky parks in the very back, shaded corner of the overlook’s parking lot. The place is deserted as always at that time of night. It’s perfect. You waste no time getting out of your seatbelt and moving into Bucky’s lap as he slides his seat back a bit to give you space.

Your mouths meet in a frenzied kiss. His hands are firm as they land on your sides. You whimper against his lips as his thumbs brush over the bottoms of your breast. Fumbling around you try to find the button on his jeans. Once you have them unbuttoned and unzipped, Bucky lifts his hips slightly to allow you to pull them down a bit.

His hands move down, sliding under your dress to grasp at your ass. However, he sucks in a sharp breath when he realizes that you aren’t wearing any panties. “Oh… Doll, you are a bad, bad girl.”

You set up, smiling at him in the moonlight. “Only for you,” you say as you begin to slide the zipper on your dress down.

Bucky bites his lower lip, seeing that you’re not wearing a bra either. His hands move to cup your breast. “Baby… if I’d have known this, there wouldn’t have even been a movie.”

You grin as you reach for his cock. He’s halfway hard already, but you know just how to get him all the way there. You reach for the handle to open the door. He gives you a questioning look as you slide off his lap and out the door. “Not enough room,” you say as you bend over to take his dick into your mouth.

He gasps, looking down to watch as you squat to get more comfortable. “Oh, God… Babydoll…” The fingers of his metal hand tangle in your hair and you relax, letting him guide you. You’ve done this enough to know he won’t be forceful. He just likes to set the pace sometimes. You hum around him, swirling your tongue as your mouth slides up and down his saliva-slick shaft. “Yes… oh… your mouth… so good…” He whimpers as his head falls back against the headrest.

His praise delights you. Hearing him enjoy what you’re doing is such a turn on for you. It makes you want to please him even more. But now’s not the time as he quickly pulls you off of him. His breathing has become erratic. As you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, you grin, noticing in the moonlight that his pupils are blown. He must have been close.

As Bucky sits up, moving to get out of the car too, you stand up and step back. Before you can say anything, his mouth his on yours and he’s guiding you to the front of the car. Your feel the side fender against your ass and you whimper with anticipation.

Gently, but with a noticeable amount of impatience, he lifts you up, sitting you on the hood. As he pushes you to lie back, his mouth leaves yours, trailing along your jaw and down your neck. “Oh…Bucky,” you plead helplessly as his mouth ravishes your chest, biting savagely at your breast and sucking hungrily on your nipples. Your body is vibrating from all the different sensations he’s causing.

His hands are busy too. They’re eagerly pushing up your thighs, bunching your dress around your waist. Then they move to your inner thighs, pushing your legs apart as his mouth descends on your core. You gasp, feeling the first touch of his mouth as he forces his tongue into your wet, swollen folds. He devours you, sucking and lapping with incredible purpose. He’s not at all interested in teasing you. He’s hungry for this and that knowledge is so heavy you quickly feel your orgasm bubbling up from deep within. “Bucky,” you shriek as your body writhes against the car beneath you. “Please…”

He loops his metal arm around your thigh and places his hand against your pelvis as his thumb and forefinger separates your lips to fully expose your engorged clit.

“Fuck!” You squeal when his tongue flicks directly against the tiny, swollen nub. “Yes! Bucky!” You reach down and fist both hands in his hair. You need more. “Please, oh God, I’m gonna come!”

He lets go of you and cups your ass in both hands as he greedily feasts on your sex. Your legs begin to quiver, and hot tears spill from the corners of your eyes.  Your orgasm is fast and hard, and you try to get away from his mouth; but he won’t let you, so you’re forced to ride it out. Every last glorious second of it.

“Bucky,” you sob, when he finally lets you go.

He stands up, licking his lips as a slow grin forms, and he brushes the back of his hand over his chin where you can see a slight glistening in his beard. Damn that’s so hot. He reaches for your hand and pulls you up to sit on the edge of the hood. “You good?” He asks, his mouth a mere inch from yours.

You nod, distractedly and close the distance. You don’t even mind that you can taste yourself his lips; on his tongue as he kisses you tenderly. He nips at your chin as he pulls away, smiling as he swallows just a bit more of your essence.

Carefully, you hop down from the hood of the car. You step closer to Bucky, biting your lower lip as your hands move to his waist. You grasp the waistband of his jeans and tug them down just a bit so you can reach around and get a full grasp of his ass to which he groans almost inaudibly. “So,” you ask, letting one hand trail around to circle his cock that is still hard and weeping slightly. “Are you going to fuck me now?”

He smiles coyly. “Turn around.”

You obey and turn around. With one hand on your waist and the other grasping your shoulder, Bucky forces you to bend over until your bare breast are pressed flat against the hood of his car. You feel his hands on your ass first. Then a cool metal finger slips easily between your cheeks, grazing slightly over the tiny, tight ring of muscle which triggers an involuntary shiver that makes your whole-body tremble in delight. You hear Bucky groan quietly upon seeing the effect it had on you. You bite your lip wondering if that’s what he has in mind. The thought scares you a bit because you’ve never done that before, and surely Bucky would ask first. Wouldn’t he?

You feel your body relax with relief as the metal finger moves further down, sliding slowly inside you. You moan softly as he works the finger in and out of you. “You like that, doll?”

“Yes…” you sigh before asking him for more.

“You want my cock?”

“Yes. Yes, please Bucky. I want your cock.”

You feel the finger slip away and the heavy head of his cock replace it at your entrance. You moan deeply, hearing him whisper your name over and over as he deliberately eases into you.

 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, non-porny. :)

The apartment was quiet when you and Bucky return. It is getting late, so you assume Steve is already in bed. However, you’re not quite ready to call it a night just yet, so you suggest a glass of wine.

“Sounds good,” Bucky agrees. “I’m gonna go wash up a bit.”

You grin, remembering vividly why he needs to wash up. “I’ll get the wine.”

A few minutes later, you’re sitting on the couch with Bucky, sipping on a glass of wine. After a moment of thinking more about what had just gone down on your date night, you laugh out loud. Of course, Bucky has no idea what you were thinking about, so he looks at you strangely. “I can’t believe we did that.”

Bucky grins and shrugs before he takes a sip of his wine. “You had fun didn’t you?”

“I did,” you assure him. Then you sigh. “How did you do it for so long?”

“What?”

“Abstain from sex. I mean, we didn’t last two weeks.”

“I had excellent self-control until I met you.”

You smirk at the irony. You didn’t realize how little restraint you actually had until Bucky came along. It’s kind of sad when you think about it. What he can do to you with just one look? You’ve never in your life wanted someone as much as you constantly want Bucky. “I don’t have much self-control,” you admit.

“I know,” Bucky agrees with a laugh.

You sit there pondering for a moment, your mind is wondering to a place that it had been going to lately. “Babe?” You ask, finally getting up the nerve to say something about how you feel. “Do you ever feel like our relationship is based on sex?”

Furrowing his brow, Bucky looks at you with concern written all over his face. “No… Do you?”

“Sometimes I worry. I mean, regardless of my actions, I know what the Bible teaches about sexuality and not being self-indulgent. So, I worry about you; that one day you’re going to wake up and realize how wrong this is. I’m afraid you’ll regret not fulfilling your duties and that you’ll resent me for it.”

“I love you,” Bucky declares. “That’s what matters most to me.”

“But what about everything you learned in seminary? What your believed it? What about the morality, Buck?”

“What has gotten into you? Where is this even coming from?”

“I don’t know. I guess with Steve staying here this month, I’m really getting some insight into what being a priest means. Then I think about how you were so close, and you just threw it all away for… Well, for me.”

Bucky sighs, “We’ve talked about this. I don’t regret my decision to choose you.”

“Maybe not right now, but…”

He puts a finger to your lips. “Not ever.” He gives you a pointed look, wanting to be certain that you understand he’s for real. “I guess I never told you the whole story about how and why I decide to become a priest in the first place; did I?

You shake your head, realizing that even though the two of you have been together for nearly a year, it was all kind of a whirlwind and there still so much you don’t know about his past. “You haven’t really told me a lot about that particular period in your life. You know, except for about the accident itself.”

“Well, before my accident, as you well know, I wasn’t exactly a saint. Hell, I wasn’t even Catholic.” Bucky explains. “I partied a lot during my last year of high school, although I think that was mostly because of the girls I dated.” He wrinkles his nose in disgust at the memory. “Anyway, Steve and I had been best friends for a long time and around about our senior year, we kind of started to grow in different directions. I did my thing and he started getting more involved with his church. Even though we didn’t mean for it to happen, our friendship suffered. We barely talked by the time we graduated.”

You know the expression on your face tells him that you’re shocked by that because his own expression is one of remorse. You wonder why Katrina hadn’t mentioned that. Maybe she didn’t know?

“I got an apartment and moved my girlfriend in with me right after high school, and we were on and off for two years. Steve and I still spoke on occasion, but it was clear we were heading our own separate ways.” Bucky takes a long breath before continuing. “Then the accident happened. When I woke up, it wasn’t my girlfriend sitting next to my bed. It was Steve. He’d been taking turns with my family because they didn’t want me to wake up alone, and none of them could realistically stay there twenty-four-seven.”

“How long were you out?”

“Almost five days. The last couple were medically induced though.”

You nod. “So, Steve was there. Where was your girlfriend?”

“At home. She said she couldn’t stand to see me like that, but she wanted someone to call her when I woke up. Anyway, Steve and I talked, like really had a heart to heart which we hadn’t had in years. Neither of us wanted our friendship to end so we promised to get better at communicating.”

“He came to see me at the hospital almost every day and then his presence was constant at the rehab center; which is a lot more than I could say about Sydney,” he continues, giving you the name of his ex for the first time ever. “She stopped by less and less after the first week, and eventually she told me that she was moving back in with her parents because it was just too much for her. If it hadn’t been for Steve, I don’t know that I would have made it through rehab.”

You reach out, taking his hand in yours. You’re glad that he’s opening up to you, but at the same time, you don’t want him reliving the pain he obviously felt back then.

“I was extremely depressed. As if losing my arm wasn’t enough, the fact that it ruined my relationship with Syd pretty much told me that I wasn’t capable of being loved or wanted anymore. Combine that with the PTSD that I was suffering? I was doomed.”

“Steve helped you through it?” You ask, already knowing the answer, but you can’t stay silent while he spills everything. Not when Bucky looks like he’s re-experiencing every second of that terrible time in his life.

“Yeah. He was great. I mean, the way he viewed things? Despite how broken I felt, I wanted to have that outlook on life. So, I asked him what his secret was.”

You smile, “I assume that’s when he introduced you to the church?”

“Yeah, kinda. He explained to me how much being involved with his church had helped him.” Bucky must notice your confusion, so he goes on to explain. “Apparently, Steve had been struggling with some personal things when we were still in high school. What a great friend I was to not even notice, ya know?”

“You were kids.”

“But I should have noticed that my best friend was going through some pretty heavy stuff,” he sighs. “Anyway, we talked. We talked a lot, and he eventually invited me to Mass with him.”

“And you never looked back?”

“Oh, I did,” Bucky reassures you. “It wasn’t as clear to me as it seemed to be for Steve. But in time, it just started to make sense. Even with all the therapy I was getting for depression and PTSD—which was also through the church—I was still so lost. I think a lot of what drove me to make the decision was my depression. It was guiding me; telling me that I would never be whole again. Redemption seemed to be my only option. So, I got more involved. Steve taught me a lot.

Believing in and trusting in a higher power was actually making me feel better. Then when Steve said that he was planning to enroll in seminary, it seemed logical.”

“You didn’t really want to?” At least that was the feeling you were getting from what he was telling you.

“I was hesitant. But after contemplating it for a few days, I saw it as an out.” He sighed heavily. “I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life anyway. At least that would give me a purpose again, and I would be doing it next to the only person outside of my family who didn’t leave me.”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you move closer to cuddle up to him. “Oh, Bucky. I’m so sorry that you felt that way, but I’m glad you had Steve and the church to help you through it.

“Me too, and I’ll always be grateful for that, but to tell you the truth, when I met you, I started second guessing every choice I’d made since my accident. And when you do that as a priest, it challenges you to think about how truly committed you are, and I just wasn’t. Not fully. Not enough to miss out on a chance at true happiness.”

“I love you,” you say, wanting to make sure that he knows that. “I think you’re amazing and anyone who doesn’t see that is missing out.”

Just then, Steve’s bedroom door opens and Steve walks out wearing a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. He pauses, seeing the two of you cuddling on the couch. “Hey. Didn’t know you were still up,”

You smile at him from across the room. “We were just talking. Why are you still awake?”

“I was coming out to get a glass of water.”

“We have wine,” you say, grinning as you pick up the bottle that you’d left on the end table. “You want a glass?”

“Hmm,” Steve hums, thinking about your offer. “Actually, yes.”

“Great.” You get up from the couch and head towards the kitchen. “I’ll get another glass.” When you return to the living room, Steve is sitting in the chair across from the couch. You fill the glass before handing it to him. “Bucky was just telling me about how much you were there for him after his accident.”

Steve looks at Bucky before nodding, but the look on his face says that’s a time that he doesn’t really like to think about. “I tried,” he says as he accepts the glass of wine.

“You did more than try,” Bucky argues. “I could never repay you for everything you did.”

“I’d never want you to,” Steve counters, his eyes wide and sincere. “What brought up this conversation anyway?”

“We were just talking, and she has some insecurities about her role in me abandoning the priesthood. Then I realized that I’d never told her how that all got started to begin with.”

Steve laughs softly as he looks your way, obviously finding your issue amusing. “Yeah. That was my fault. I pushed him into it.”

You laugh and Bucky rolls his eyes. “Sure, pal. It was never my decision.”

“Honestly, I didn’t think you would go as far as you did,” Steve reveals. “At least not in the beginning. You surprised me, and I was glad.”

You sigh. “But then I happened.”

Steve’s slight smirk morphs into a bright smile as he nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, you did. But that’s not a bad thing. The church may have given him purpose and saved him from his spiraling depression, but you…you gave him life.”

Steve’s point of view couldn’t have surprised you more. You had no idea that he felt that way. “I’m…” You start, but words abandon you.

“I mean, yeah, as a man of God, I don’t approve of some of your choices or condone some things; I can’t really, but I’m not blind either. I see the love that’s between you guys. So…to each their own?”

“Steve,” Bucky glares playfully at his friend. “You now that’s not right.”

Steve chuckles, shrugging his shoulders. “Well if it makes you feel any better, I’m still praying for you.”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. At least Steve isn’t a wet noodle. He wasn’t even as serious and formal as he had been in New York right after getting ordained. That much he proved on the day he arrived and greeted you with a hug. It had surprised you, but you didn’t let it show. The last time you’d been near him, he was nervous and careful around you. It was a relief to have him a bit more carefree.

You notice the fond look in Bucky’s eyes, and you wonder if maybe he and Steve need to talk. After revealing all of that part of his life to you, you can only imagine how raw he must feel. So, you do what you think is right and call it a night. “Ok. I’m going to go shower and get ready for bed.” You tell him as you lean over and give Bucky a light kiss. “Thank you for opening up to me.”

He smiles. “Thank you for being you.”

Another chaste kiss and you get up. “And thank you, Steve. I’m glad that you approve of me even if you don’t approve of what we do. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

As you walk away, you can already hear their chatter and you smile, knowing that giving them the alone time was the right thing to do. Even you feel enterally grateful for Steve’s friendship and kindness.

After your shower, you go straight to bed. You don’t know for sure what time Bucky finally joins you, but when you wake up the next morning, he’s spooned against your back. It’s a feeling that you will never tire of. His body curled so perfectly around your own feels like home. You hate that you have to drag yourself out of his embrace in order to go to work. If only you could just call off. That, of course, isn’t an option no matter how tempting. You have entirely too much to do at the office. So, reluctantly, you get up to get yourself ready for a typical Friday at your job.

Your workday starts off like any other. You run a few errands for your boss before settling in to work on the article you’ve been assigned. A couple of hours into it, you hear the front door open. The sound makes you look up from your work, but the sight of two men walking up to the front counter makes you smile. “Hey guys! What’s up?”

“We wondered if you have time to join us for coffee on your break,” Bucky replies, leaning forward to rest his arms on the counter.

“Is it even time?” You look at the clock, realizing that it is indeed time for your break. At least that time you usually end up taking it. “Yeah. Just let me go tell someone that I’m leaving.”

When you return, you walk across the street to the donut shop with Bucky and Steve. “I was telling Steve about this place and their amazing pastries, so we decided to drop in and since you’re right there, ya know? Why not?”

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend. You know this trip wasn’t on a whim. He often drops by and takes you to lunch or meets you after work for coffee. You sometimes wonder if he doesn’t like the pastries at this place more than he likes you. “Sure. I bet this was an impromptu visit. You’ve never been here?” You ask Steve as he holds the door for you.

“Nope. I’ve been by here lots of times, but never stopped in. Had no idea you worked across the street either.”

 “What do you want, babe?” Bucky askes as he approaches the counter.

“The usual,” you tell him, knowing that he’ll order you the cream cheese and cherry Danish and a large coffee with the creamer that you love.

While they order, you go to the back of the shop where you and Bucky normally sit. You find an empty booth where you slide into the seat. You flip through the shops brochure as you wait for them to join you. Finally, after several minutes, Bucky sets the tray of food and drinks in the middle of the table before sitting down next to you.

“So, what did you get?” You ask Steve curiously as he sits down across from you and confiscates one of the pastries from the tray.

“A chocolate, cream-filled donut and a blueberry scone.” He chuckles seeing you lift your brow at him. “I couldn’t decide.”

You glance over, seeing that Bucky had got one of his favorites; an apple fritter topped with a gob of vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup.

“You want a bite?” He asks, noticing your eyes on his food.

“No,” you say, picking up your own Danish along with your coffee. “I was just checking it out.”

For the next half-hour, you enjoy their company, learning more about some of their adventures as teenagers. Specifically like the time they went rope swinging into a pond.

“You should have seen it! The rope broke in mid-air, and Bucky barely landed in the water.”

“And you laughed!” Bucky accused.

“Because it was funny. Your reaction when the rope snapped was priceless.”

“I could have died, Steve.”

“But you didn’t.”

You can’t help but laugh at Steve’s unconcerned response which made Bucky glare at you. “Don’t take his side!”

You swallow the bit of Danish that you’d just taken a bite of and shrugged. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Dramatic?” Bucky asks, looking appalled by the notion that he was overreacting. “You don’t understand. There were huge rocks everywhere. I’m lucky it flung me out there as for as it did.”

“We should go up there sometime before I go back home,” Steve says. “I wonder if people still swing off the cliffs.”

Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know. Could be worth checking out.” He then looks to you. “You game?”

“Sure. Why not? But I won’t be swinging from any vines or ropes or whatever you idiots use.”

Later, they walk you back to the newspaper office. As you reach the entrance, Bucky drags you into his arms before you can get to the door. “I’ll see you at home.”

You nod, accepting a chaste kiss before pulling away from his embrace and waving at Steve. “Bye guys. See you later.”

The rest of your day goes by in relative quietness. When you do go home, you’re surprised to find Bucky and Steve in the kitchen arguing over a recipe. You stand in the doorway watching because it’s obvious that neither of them heard you come in. It is also ridiculous and totally cute; the way they’re going at it. You stifle a laugh as Steve slaps Bucky’s hands away when he tries to add more garlic to the pot that’s simmering on the stove.

“No!” Steve exclaims. “It doesn’t need any more!” Bucky pouts and it actually works for him after a moment because Steve concedes with a sigh and lets him add more garlic. You shake your head, unable to contain your laughter this time because Steve stops him again by grabbing his wrist and yelling, “Not too much! Good grief, Buck.”

They both turn to you with sheepish looks on the face. “Oh… hey. When did you get home?”

“A few minutes ago,” you respond to your boyfriend’s question. “You two bicker like an old married couple. What are you making anyway?”

“Spaghetti sauce,” Steve answers. “It was my Grandma’s recipe.”

“It’s delicious,” Bucky informs.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Until you kill it with garlic.”

“Just taste it!” Bucky grabs a spoon full of the sauce and carefully blows on it before holding it up to Steve’s mouth. Obviously, he’s very confident in his cooking skills.

You snicker as Steve initially glares at Bucky, but then tastes their concoction with a just bit of hesitance. His eyes soon betray his irritation though You know it before he even speaks. “Ok. You win,” he agrees with a shrug. “It needed more garlic.”

Bucky smiles triumphantly and chucks the spoon into the sink. “You should listen to me more often, Stevie.”

Steve scoffs and goes back to stirring the sauce.

“So, we’re having spaghetti?” You ask, wondering if they’re making anything to go with it. “Should I start on a salad or something?”

“Already done,” Bucky tells you as he walks over to where you’re still standing in the doorway. He crowds you into the living room where he proceeds to kiss you deeply. You practically melt into his kiss and whimper with disappointment when he pulls away. “How was your day?”

You laugh, moving around him to put your purse away. “Apparently not as eventful as yours.”

Dinner that night is delicious. As you dig into the pasta on your plate, you gotta give the guys major credit. That has to be the best sauce you’ve ever tasted. “Can you guys cook every evening from here on out?”

Steve smiles, picking up his glass of red wine as he glances at Bucky. “Have you made her your chicken cacciatore?”

“No…” Bucky replies looking as though he might be embarrassed by the direction this conversation is taking.

“His what?” You ask curiously.

“He makes this phenomenal chicken cacciatore. Is to die for,” Steve explains. “I can’t believe he hasn’t made it for you yet.”

Bucky puts his fork down in favor of picking up his own wine glass. “I don’t really cook that often.”

Steve’s eyes grow wide in disbelief as he stares at his best friend for a moment before giving you a confused look.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t even know he _could_ cook,” you say in defense. “This is news to me.”

“What? Bucky is an amazing cook and he absolutely loves to bake.”

“Not really,” Bucky argues, glaring at Steve for not letting it go.

“Since when? You used to cook for us all the time.”

Bucky shrugged while twirling his silverware around in his spaghetti, watching intently as it pulled the noodles onto his fork. “That’s because you’re a terrible cook and I didn’t want either of us to starve.”

Steve’s mouth drops open in feigned shock. “How dare you! Who made this awesome spaghetti sauce tonight?”

Bucky snickers. “Only turned out because I fixed it up while you weren’t looking.”

“So, you really can cook?” You ask, still flabbergasted that you didn’t know that about him yet after almost a year. Of course, you really hadn’t given him the opportunity or the option aside from the occasional grilled cheese or deep-fried foods. Preparing meals was just something you assumed responsibility for. It was something your mom did for your dad and your grandma for your grandpa. It always made them so happy, so obviously, you wanted to do it for Bucky.

“Yes. I can cook, and while I do like to bake things, it’s not an obsession like Steve is implying.”

“I’m going to need samples,” you say before taking another bite of spaghetti.

“Thanks, Punk,” Bucky says glaringly at Steve. “I almost got away with never having to cook again.”

“Shut up, Buck. You know you love it. You always have.”

Again, you just shake your head in amusement. You knew last summer that they were close, but this whole living with them for two weeks and counting is painting a brand-new picture of their relationship. You’re glad Steve decided to stay at the apartment when Bucky offered. It’s good for both of them.

Later that night, you leave the bathroom after having showered and changed into your pajamas. As you walk down the hall to your bedroom, you pass the room that Steve has been staying in. The door is open, and you notice he is sitting, cross-legged on the floor with a book in his lap. So, you stop, knocking softly on the door frame.

He looks up from his book, and you’re slightly taken aback by the fact that he’s wearing glasses. You’d never seen him with them on. As a matter of fact, you didn’t even know he wore them. You have to admit that they look good on him. They give him a certain handsome, nerdy quality. “Hey. Saw you were still up, and I just wanted to say goodnight.

He smiles. “Goodnight.”

You turn away, starting on down the hall when you hear him say your name. You take a step back and look at him once more. “Yes?”

“Just…” he paused for a moment as if searching for words. “Thank you for making him happy.”

You force a smile as the weight of Steve’s words settle on your heart. “He’s worth every effort,” you say, because how else do you respond to something like that?

A warm smile rests on Steve’s lips as he nods in agreement. “Sleep well.”

This time when you walk away, you have tears forming in your eyes. You know that Bucky has been through so much and that Steve had always been his rock, so just by saying that to you, along with what he told you last night, it’s like giving you the ultimate stamp of approval. It’s heavy, and you hope that you can continue to make him happy.

You wait a couple of minutes outside your bedroom door just to get your emotions in check. When you do go in, Bucky is already lying in bed, also reading; but he puts the book aside when he sees you. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you greet as you climb into your side of the bed. Bucky pulls you near and you snuggle against his chest. You lay there for a few minutes, just enjoying the moment before you speak. “So, I have a bone to pick with you.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks, obviously entertained as always by your statement.

“Yes. Why didn’t you want me to know that you can cook?”

He sighs. “It’s not that I didn’t want you to know. Honestly, I only took It up because it was a way for me to cope at the time.” You stare up at him as he continues. “It gave me something to focus on besides seminary.” He shrugs indifferently. “It just so happened that I turned out to be really good at it.”

“So why don’t you do it more often?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just haven’t needed a hobby lately. I’m in a good place right now and cooking is my go-to happy place when I need to recalibrate. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I guess it does. But if you’re up to it sometime, I would really like to have some of that chicken cacciatore that Steve was raving about.

Bucky laughs heartily. “I’ll make it before he goes back to New York. I promise. We can even have Katrina over.”

“Sounds like a fair deal,” you agree. “So, what else don’t I know about you?”

“Well, we haven’t quite had time for exploring your last question about how adventurous I was.”

You giggle against his chest. “I think having sex on the hood of your car in a potentially public place is pretty adventurous.”

“It was,” he agrees. “But it wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“Are you going to tell me what you had in mind?” You trail your finger down the center of his chest.

He grabs your hand before it goes too far and laces his fingers with yours. “No.”

“Not even a hint?”

“I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“That’s all I’m gonna get?”

“For now,” he replies.

You roll your eyes at him, feigning frustration as you cuddle closer and pull the covers up. “Fine. Fine. But we are still not done with this conversation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, lovelies, I need some "opinions"... Ya'll know from the tags that eventually, there is supposed to be a threesome here. The issue that I'm having is that I don't know how to go about it. Obviously, I know what "I" would like, but I don't really want to turn off any readers. So what would you all like to see? I just want to get a feel for the majority of the readers.


	8. Chapter Eight

When you get home from work on Monday afternoon, Bucky isn’t there yet, but Steve has already returned from visiting with a few old friends. He’s in the kitchen rummaging through the basket on your counter looking for a snack when you walk in. “Hey, Steve!”

“Hey!” He glances your way. “Didn’t expect you home so early.”

“I somehow managed to finish up,” you explain even though you’re not sure how you did that considering most of the morning was felt wasted. “How was your visit?”

“Good,” he says as he finally settles on a pack of peanut butter crackers. “We went to the lake for a while.”

“Oh, that sounds fun. I haven’t been up there for a long time.”

“Yeah. It was fun except I forgot sunscreen and the way my back is feeling right now, I’m pretty sure I got a lovely burn,” he reports while opening the crackers.

You grimace at the thought. “Ouch. Let me see.”

He pauses for a moment but doesn’t move to let you see his sunburn. “It’ll be ok,” he insists.

“Don’t be an idiot, Steve. It’s not like I haven’t seen you shirtless before. Let me see.” Reluctantly, he lays his crackers back down and starts to lift his t-shirt. As soon as he does though, he grimaces at the sudden and unexpected pain. Apparently, it’s worse than he thought. “Here,” you reach to help him. “Holy crap, dude. You are beet red. Let me put some aloe on it.”

“I can do that,” he argues, a panicked look on his face as you carefully help him pull the t-shirt shirt on off. You try your best not to scrape it against his skin.

“You can barely lift your arms, how you gonna put lotion on your back?”

“I…” he takes a second to think about it and then smiles awkwardly. “I don’t know.”

“There is really no sense in being stubborn Steve. I’m your friend, there is nothing wrong with me helping you. Go sit down. I’ll be back in a minute,” you tell him in a firm tone before leaving to get the aloe from the bathroom.

When you return, he’s in the living room sitting on the edge of the couch. His front looks just as bad as his back. “How long were you in the water?”

“About an hour,” he replies as you sit down next to him. “Probably should have left my shirt on, but I didn’t have an extra.”

“Yeah, you probably should have. Turn around.”

He turns slightly, giving you access to his sun-scorched back.

Carefully, you begin applying aloe to his heated skin. He hisses at the first touch, and you apologize, cringing yourself because you know how it must feel. You take your time, gently rubbing the lotion all over his back and shoulders. Eventually, he sighs in what you can only interpret as relief. “Feeling better?”

“Well, it doesn’t feel like it’s on fire anymore.”

You smile, watching your own hands glide over his back. You can’t help but notice how defined his muscles are; how hard he feels under your touch. It wasn’t like you hadn’t noticed his physique before, but honestly, you’d never properly appreciated the view. There is no wonder Katrina was so in love with the idea of having him. He is seriously built, and damn near flawless.

“Ok,” you say after another moment. “You can get your front.”

Steve takes the bottle of gel that you hand him. “Thanks.”

“Not a problem. Just don’t be so careless next time. Sunscreen is your friend.”

He chuckles as you get up from behind him. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“I’m going to go shower and change. Then I’ll start dinner. Anything in particular that you would like?”

“Whatever is fine,” he replies, already starting to apply the aloe to his chest.

Your eyes linger for a moment, but you quickly compose yourself and turn to leave. “Ok. But if you change your mind, let me know.”

Once you’ve gathered your towels and clothes, you lock yourself in the bathroom. You start the shower and begin to undress. The whole time, your mind is wandering. All day you had been thinking about Bucky and all the things that you could possibly do with him because he still hasn’t told you what he’d had in mind that night when you’d asked how adventurous he had been. Somehow always reminds you that he’s thinking about it, though. This morning, it came in form of a random text through which he taunted you by telling you that he was thinking about it again and that it was starting to make him hard.

It had left you so turned on that the only thing you’d thought of on the drive home was taking care of that itch. It was one of the reasons you came home early. But Steve was already back, so that idea was shot to hell.

And then Steve needed help. That wasn’t good for where your mind was either. Now your head is filled with a whole new fantasy. One that would surely send you straight to the deepest pits of hell. As if your lusting for Bucky wasn’t bad enough. Now you were wondering what it would be like to have Steve; perfect, obedient, cloth-wearing, and sinfully-sexy, Steve; right along with Bucky. At the same time.

You whimper at the idea and chastise yourself as well. “Get it together!” You growl in frustration as you finally step into the shower, hoping to rid your mind of such ridiculousness. You begin your shower by washing your hair first, thinking that it will give your thoughts time to dwindle.

They do, at least until you begin scrubbing your body with a soft loofa. It reminds you of the last time Bucky had joined you for a morning shower. He’d taken his time washing every inch of your body with that very same loofa. Your body automatically reacts to the memory of that long and satisfying shower. Then the itch from earlier is back ten-fold.

“Oh, fuck it,” you grumble giving in to your needs and letting the loofa fall from your fingers as they slide between your legs. Leaning back against the shower wall, you finally allow every dirty thought your brain had conjured up that day to fill your mind. And it’s wonderful.

When you come, it’s sudden and you’re much louder than you realize at first. You slap a hand over your mouth to stifle more moans until your orgasm subsides. You hope to God the shower had been enough to muffle your sounds.

“Holy shit,” you pant, reaching for the wall to help steady yourself. You begin to laugh at the absurdity of your current situation. You’re unsure of who to be mad at, at the moment. Either yourself for having no self-control; or Bucky for planting certain ideas in your head and then abstaining from sex just to save his best friend from embarrassment.

Once you’ve managed to collect yourself, you head out of the bathroom, set on making dinner. As you walk through the apartment, you notice that Steve isn’t there, but you continue on to the kitchen figuring he’s in his room.

You’re halfway through making dinner when he finally appears again. He’s still shirtless but doesn’t seem quite as uncomfortable about it now. “Feeling any better,” you ask as he takes a seat at the breakfast bar where you’re finishing up a pasta salad to go with the chicken and baked potatoes that are in the oven.

“Yeah. Somewhat,” he replies, running his fingers through his blonde hair.

“You look tired.”

“I am tired. I think it’s from all the heat today. I haven’t really done anything like that since last summer, and I guess my body just needs to readjust.”

“You have time to take a nap before dinner.”

“Nah…I tried. It hurts to lay on this.” He points to his sunburn and you understand.

“Do you want some pain killers?  That might help.”

“Not right now. Maybe before bed?” He smiles, letting you know he’s appreciative of your offer. “Where’s Buck?”

“He should be getting home soon. He didn’t call or text that he was going to be late.”

You were right. Bucky arrives home just a few minutes later. Steve turns to look towards the living room when he hears the door open and close followed by Bucky’s keys as he puts them down. “Well, speak of the Devil,” he jokes.

“And he shall appear,” you agree as you pause to wipe your hands on a nearby towel.

Bucky walks into the kitchen looking rather disheveled. His blue jeans are splattered with dirt and the white t-shirt he’s wearing has grease stains all over it. Even his face has a splotch of grease. He couldn’t look anymore delicious. “Hey, gorgeous,” he says as he walks over to the breakfast bar where you’re standing.

“Hey love,” you reply, allowing him to snake an arm around your waist. “Missed you.”

He grins, leaning in to press his lips to yours in a tender kiss. “Missed you more.”

You both turn your heads at the sound of a low, annoyed groan. Steve is just sitting there, shaking his head as he watches you. “You two are disgustingly cute.”

A giddy smile graces your face at his compliment. “Thank you, Steve. That’s what we’re going for,” you say as Bucky lets go of you.

“What happened to you, man?” Bucky asks as he finally takes in the appearance of Steve's reddened skin and the fact that he’s sitting there shirtless. “Ever hear of sunscreen?”

“Ugh, not you too. I forgot, ok?”

Bucky laughs. “You’re too pale to just forget sunscreen.”

“Buck,” you scold. “Leave Steve alone. The poor guy is miserable.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, giving him his best sad puppy face. “I’m miserable.”

Bucky only laughs before walking away. “I’m going to go shower before dinner,” he says as he walks away.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” Steve asks once Bucky has gone.

“The table needs set,” you suggest before going back to work on the pasta salad.

After dinner, Steve asks you for the pain killers that you’d offered him earlier, and you ask him if he needs more aloe. He nods but tells you it can wait until after his shower.

While Steve is in the bathroom, Bucky helps you clean up the kitchen. “So, what was up with you today?” He asks, causing you to look up from where you’re washing the counters down.

“What are you talking about?”

“You stopped answering my texts.”

You did stop answering his texts. If you had continued, you wouldn’t have got anything done at all. “Yes. I did.”

“Were they distracting you?” Bucky asks with a smug grin.

“Just a little bit.” You glare at him, wondering if he knew exactly how much work he actually caused you to neglect that morning.

“I’m curious to know just how far in the gutter your mind went today.”

“Trust me, it went too far.”

Bucky lifts a brow, studying you with an amused smirk on his lips, as you go back to wiping down the counter, but he doesn’t say anything more.

Later, you and Bucky are back to the living room. He’s picked up the book he’d been reading for the last few evenings, and you’re flipping through a magazine. You look up when Steve returns. He’s wearing his flannel pajama pants and his hair is still damp, but also gloriously tousled from towel drying. He’s looking at you, holding the bottle of aloe that you’d given him earlier.

“Do you mind?”

You put your magazine down and scoot to the edge of the couch. “Sit,” you point to the floor in front of you. He hands you the bottle and sits down on the floor. You’re just as gentle this time as you rub the lotion onto his back. Again, he sighs in relief as the aloe cools his skin.

“Should I be jealous?” Bucky asks, peering over his book.

“Get yourself a sunburn and you might get the same treatment,” Steve responds, glancing back at Bucky.

“Nah,” Bucky goes back to reading. “I don’t need to injure myself to get her hands all over me.”

Your eyes grow wide and you turn your head to see Bucky smiling proudly behind his book. You don’t give him the satisfaction of any more reaction than that though. You simply turn your attention back to Steve’s sunburn until you’re finished. You close the bottle and hand it back to him. “All done.”

The rest of the night is quiet. Steve goes to bed and eventually you and Bucky find your way there as well. “You’re a real jerk, you know that?” You say as Bucky joins you in bed. “I’m sure that embarrassed the heck out of Steve."

“He’ll be fine,” Bucky says. “It was nice of you to do that though. His sunburn looks pretty nasty.”

“Wasn’t it?” You agree. “Poor guy was so hesitant the first time.” You lay there for a moment before you move to cuddle with Bucky. “You were also a real jerk for texting me this morning.”

“Nah, if I’d have really wanted to be a jerk, I would have sent you a picture of my little problem.”

You laugh at the absurdity of his statement. “You wouldn’t have.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re not that naughty.”

“You don’t know how naughty I can be. Remember?”

You lift your brow thinking back to your shower-time earlier that afternoon. “Have you ever participated in a threesome?”

Bucky burst into laughter. “Well that’s random! And the answer is no.”

You sigh. “Ok, so obviously not that adventurous. Let me think of something less kinky…Watched porn?”

“Well duh.”

“How’d that confession go?”

“Pretty much the same way all my others went. Forgive me Father for I have sinned, blah, blah, blah, I sought pleasure by watching porn and masturbating, blah, blah, blah. It was a long confession.”

You sit up, staring down at Bucky. “You’re serious?”

“Uh,” He gives you an even more amused look. “Yeah?”

“What kind of porn did you watch?”

He shrugged. “Pretty much every kind. I was a teenager.”

Your mind is reeling. You were only joking when you started asking about specific things, but the fact that Bucky is being an open book is intriguing to you. “Threesome porn?”

“Sure.”

“Two girls or two guys?”

“Maybe it was all three girls,” he teases.

You lift your brow. “You’re joking.”

“I’ve watched it all.”

You huff, lying back on the bed. “Which was your favorite though?”

“Which is yours?”

“Who says I’ve watched porn?” You ask, giving him your best innocent look. “Besides, I asked first.”

“So?” He chuckles.

“Fine. Two guys.”

“Oh really?” Bucky lifts a brow at your answer.

“Yeah. Being taken by two hot men at the same time? What’s not to like?”

He lies there for a moment, as if considering your answer. “Would you ever actually do it?”

“I don’t know,” you reply with a nervous laugh. “The idea was always entertaining, but there are lines to be crossed and I don’t know about that.” You look at him again, studying him. “What about you?”

“The thought has crossed my mind. But like you said, there are lines. Especially if you’re in a committed relationship.”

“Exactly,” you agree. “So, back to your texts from this morning.”

“I’m still not telling you.”

“Ugh! Why?”

“Because I’m saving it for when we’re alone.”

“We are currently alone,” you point out even though you know exactly what he meant by it. You just love watching him roll his eyes at you. “Speaking of alone,” you say coyly as you gently rake your nails over his chest, down to his taut stomach. “Guess what I had to do today.”

“What did you have to do today?” He asks, trying in vain to ignore how close your fingers are to dipping beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs.

“I had to make myself come, Bucky…” You’re satisfied with his reaction as he swallows thickly. “I couldn’t take it anymore. Your texts this morning had me thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts and I just needed release so bad.”

“When and where did this happen?” He asks, trying to play it cool.

“After I came home from work, and I was in the shower,” you explain, never letting your fingers stop teasing. “I wanted you so badly, Buck… What was I supposed to do?” You slide your hand back up to rest against his neck as you look into his eyes. “What could I do other than touch myself? It felt so good, baby. Shoving my fingers deep and thinking about your cock and how you fill me up so well.”

Bucky whispers your name, his voice low and gruff. You can tell it’s affecting him; one glance down confirms that much. You give him a knowing look and he growls, giving in to your seduction.

You shriek in delight when Bucky moves abruptly, flipping you to your back and settling on top of you. “You have to be quiet,” he insists before crushing his lips to yours.

The next morning, you wake up to the smell of coffee and pancakes. You smile, stretching your muscles. The wonderful ache reminds you of how carried away you and Bucky got last night after you managed to make him break his own rule.

After another quick shower, you dress and head out to the kitchen. You meet Steve in the hallway, obviously heading to the bathroom. He looks wrecked. “Steve? You ok?”

He glances up, barely seeing you before dropping his head again as he walks past. “Yeah. I just couldn’t sleep at all last night.”

“Sunburn? Pain killers didn’t help?”

“No. Not really.”

You stand there for a moment after he disappears into the bathroom. It takes you a minute, but you suddenly realize what was wrong with Steve. It had nothing to do with his sunburn. You should probably feel more embarrassed than you do. You’re smiling by the time you reach the kitchen. “Morning, love!”

Bucky who is standing in front of the stove wearing only a pair of sweatpants, turns his head to smile at you. “Mornin’ doll.”

“You should be careful; a girl could get used to having two half-naked hotties running around in her apartment.” You joke while heading towards the coffee pot.

Bucky smirks while placing the last two pancakes on the plate he’d been piling up. “I can go put a shirt on if you like.”

“That’s ok,” you assure him. “I really like this view.”

A little while later, Steve joins you. He looks refreshed, but still tired. “Feeling better?” Bucky asks, while Steve goes to get a cup of coffee. “You don’t look quite as ragged as you did.”

Steve nods, taking a seat across from you at the table. “The shower really helped. Are those blueberry?”

Bucky affirms that they are and slides what’s left of the pancakes towards Steve. “Fresh blueberries too.”

“I’m going to go get ready for work now,” Bucky says as he gets up from his chair. He leans over and gives you a light kiss on the head before leaving you alone with Steve.

You sit there in silence for a few minutes watching Steve fill his plate with pancakes and cover them with syrup and whipped cream. Finally, you take a deep breath and begin to speak. “Steve, I’m sorry about last night.”

He glances up at you, cocking an eyebrow as if asking you what you’re talking about.

“I know you heard, and I feel really bad.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I mean, it was a little awkward at first, but it is what it is.”

“But…”

“Seriously,” he interrupts. “Regardless of my opinions or beliefs, I’m your guest. You and Bucky are in a relationship. I’m a grown man. I can handle a little noise now and then.”

You start laughing at the way he said that last part. It must have been horrifying for him. “Don’t you ever wonder what it could be like?” You ask before you think.

“What do you mean?” he asks after swallowing the bite of pancakes he’d just taken.

“Like, here you are a priest, all celibate and virtuous. What happens if someday you run onto the love of your life?”

Steve sighs, looking down at his coffee mug as he picks it up. He holds it in both hands for a moment as if contemplating how to respond. “First of all, I’m not virtuous. Not really. I wasn’t fully committed to my faith until I was nineteen.”

You lift your brow watching him closely as he takes a sip of coffee. Did Steve Rogers just tell you that he’d had sex before?

He smiles a tinge on pink colors his stubbled cheeks and you can’t deny how adorable he looks. “Don’t look at me like that. People always assume I’m a virgin.”

“And I’m guessing you don’t tell them any different.”

“I’ve never saw the need, and no one has actually asked.”

“So, why’d you tell me?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, really. I guess just to point out that I do know what I’m missing, and it doesn’t really bother me.”

“So, you don’t think it will ever matter to you? Even if someday you meet the perfect match for you and fall in love?”

Another sigh as he gouges his fork into another bite of pancakes. “No. I don’t think so because I found that person a long time ago, and I don’t see anyone else making me feel that way again. So… I’m good where I’m at.”

You let that information, as surprising as it, sink in as he continues eating his breakfast. Your heart breaks a little at the look on Steve’s face. You’re almost sorry that you brought it up. “I’m sorry,” you finally say. “I…Um… can I ask what happened?”

“Well, aside from the unrequited love, there were other extenuating circumstances.”

“Like?”

“Just that we were two different people going in two very different directions.”

You get the idea that he doesn’t want to say anymore on the subject, so you don’t push. But it feels nice that he opened up to you a little bit. It feels like trust, and you like knowing that he trusts you. “Thank you for telling me that,” you say. “Also, thank you for telling me about Bucky’s cooking skills. I think those were the best pancakes I’ve ever eaten.”

Steve chuckles. “I know, right?”

You hear Bucky come out of the bathroom and you look at the clock. “I should go get ready for work now too. How’s your sunburn feeling? Do you need anymore aloe on your back?”

“No. I think it’s ok. My shoulders and neck I think are the worst right now, and I can get those. Thank you though.”

You nod and stand up to leave the kitchen. When you enter your bedroom, Bucky is getting dressed for work. You sit down at your vanity and grab the bottle of primer that’s setting there. “So, what time do you think you’ll get home this evening?” You ask.

“Probably around four,” he replies as he pulls on a clean t-shirt. “By the way, I don’t think you were quiet enough last night.”

“I know. I apologized to Steve,” you explain, looking through the mirror at Bucky who is now standing behind your chair. “Also, why am I getting all the blame? You weren’t all that quiet either, mister.”

He grins, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “I’ll see you later. Love you. Have fun at work.”

“Love you too. See you this evening,” you say, wondering if you’ll get anymore text like yesterday. Given the fact that Bucky knew that Steve had heard the two of you last night, you’re pretty certain, he won’t cause a repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments & feedback are always appreciated!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, more sexy times! Hope it's not too terrible. :/

On Saturday morning, you wake up to a quiet apartment. You realize that it’s actually an empty apartment as you walk down the hallway to the bathroom and discover that Steve isn’t in his bedroom and all the lights in the living room and kitchen are off as well. It’s kind of perfect really because you didn’t want to get out of bed yet anyway; which is exactly why you climb back into your bed once you return from the bathroom. Sleep is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning. Of course, it would be nice to have Bucky there to cuddle up with, but either way. Sleep.

You’re not sure how long you actually sleep before Bucky wakes you up by climbing onto the bed and straddling your hips. “Buck?” You ask groggily as you rub at your eyes and try to focus on the man sitting on top of you. He’s clad only in a pair of running shorts and his hair is damp with sweat. “What are you doing?”

“It’s Saturday. We don’t have to work, and Steve is spending the day at the Parish. You and I have the place to ourselves.”

“Oh really?” You ask, lifting your brow in interest. “And just where were you earlier?”

“Steve asked me to go for a run with him,” he shrugs. “When we got back, he left for the parish.”

“So, you just come in here and climb onto my nice clean bed, all sweaty and gross?”

He glares at you for a moment before leaning forward so that his face is just inches from yours. “I thought maybe you would want to get sweaty too.”

You giggle and a mischievous grin slowly forms on Bucky’s lips. “I thought so,” he says before he claims your lips with his own. You moan in delight as he kisses you. His lips are like velvet against yours; his beard scratches and tickles in the most wonderful way. Reaching up, you tangle your fingers in his damp, shaggy hair. “Mmm, Bucky,” you whimper, enjoying the way his mouth feels as it travels along your jaw and down your neck. He kisses and licks a path downward, pausing at the base of your throat to suck gently. He then moves his kisses over your chest until his mouth is right between your breast, just above the laced-plunge of your nightie. He leaves another kiss there before raising back up to find your lips again.

When he pulls away, this time, he’s staring down at you. You nibble at your lower lip wondering what exactly he’s thinking. “Do you trust me?”

The question takes you a bit by surprise, but at the same time it makes you giddy with excitement. Is he about to do what he’s been teasing you about for the last week and a half? Your body shivers in anticipation. “Of course, I trust you,” you answer.

The smile that graces his face after that is enough to light up the whole room. He finally moves from on top of you and throws the covers back, leaving you lying there with only your thin nightie barely covering you. You see his tongue dart out to lick his lips as he looks down, noticing how the nightie is hitched up just enough for him to see that you’re not wearing panties. It’s nothing unusual, but since Steve’s been there, you’ve tried to be less provocative.

Bucky reaches out, sliding his metal hand up your leg. “Damn, baby doll,” he declares “I could just devour you for days.”

You shiver at the cool sensation against your skin. “I wouldn’t complain,” you respond with assurance, which earns you a sexy smirk as his flesh hand joins in, sliding up your other side until they both catch the hem of your nightie. You sit up, allowing him to remove it completely.

He leans in, kissing you again. Gently, he pushes you back down onto the mattress. “Turn over,” he whispers huskily as he gets up to remove his own shorts and underwear. You do as he says and turn to your stomach as he retrieves something from his nightstand drawer.

You turn your head to face him as he climbs back onto the bed. You notice that he’s already getting hard, so he must have been thinking about this for a while. Either that or the thought of whatever he plans to do really gets him going. “Am I about to find out how adventurous you are?”

He chuckles, gliding the metal hand from your ass to your shoulder and back again. There is something incredibly erotic about having him use that hand on you. It feels a little bit wrong but also a whole lot right. “No,” he finally says. “I’m about to find out how adventurous you are.”

“Oh…,” you purr. “Ok.”

He leans down pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Just relax. If you feel something you don’t like, just tell me. Ok?”

“Mmmhmm,” you hum, closing your eyes, ready to enjoy whatever it is that Bucky is going to do to you.

You feel him settle between your slightly spread legs and the next thing you feel is his semi-hard erection pressing against your ass as he leans forward, planting his hands to the mattress on either side of you. You then feel his lips against the back of your neck, kissing softly. Very slowly, he slithers his tongue down your spine, stopping only when he reaches your tailbone where he scatters a few kisses before dragging his tongue flatly back up the same path to suck gently at the nape of your neck.

“Mm, Bucky,” you moan.

You feel him smile against your skin upon hearing you moan his name. “What is it, Doll?”

You bite your lip shuddering at the sound of Bucky’s voice, all low and seductive; already raspy from arousal. “Feels good, Baby,” you whisper.

“Good,” he murmurs before moving away, once again to kiss and lick his way down your back. When his lips reach the gentle slope of your ass he pauses before shuffling around a bit. You then hear a quiet snap of bottle opening and you gasp at the feeling of chilled liquid being drizzled over your ass. You shiver as it trickles thickly into the crevasse that separates your cheeks. You register the faint smell of strawberries in the air.

You suddenly feel both of his hands on your ass. He squeezes firmly, massaging slowly for a moment before he shifts again and you feel his tongue sweeping against each cheek, sucking and nipping lightly along the way.

You whimper softly, loving the way his mouth feels on you. It’s strange how something so simple could literally drive you insane. You’re about to tell him just how much you’re enjoying it when you feel your cheeks being pulled apart and his warm breath is so close. “Oh, God,” you gasp, trying to imagine the look on your lover’s face as you’re exposed.

The first touch of Bucky’s tongue was just a gentle tap directly against the tight pucker, but oh God did it send a spark right to your core. You groan and bury your face in the pillow beneath your head. You hear Bucky chuckle, but he doesn’t respond otherwise. Instead he flicks his tongue over you again only this time he doesn’t pull away immediately. He continues to lap tenderly, teasing you with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh… Bucky,” you whimper, muffled by the pillow. “Don’t stop.”

That seems to be all the reassurance Bucky needs because he begins long licks up and down the cleft of your behind, pressing firmly at the ring of muscle each time he passes over it. Eventually, he presses a little harder, pushing the very tip of his tongue past the tight barrier.

You clutch the pillow in your arms and press your face further into it, loudly moaning obscenities at the feeling of Bucky’s wriggling tongue just barely breeching you.

Moaning himself, Bucky flexes his tongue harder, working it just a bit deeper for a moment before he withdraws completely and licks a long trail from there all the way up to your shoulders. “Do you like that?” He asks, against your ear, as he deliberately presses his entire body against yours, letting you feel his hardness against your ass.

“Yes,” you reply weakly, barely recognizing your own voice.

“Good,” he murmurs with a slight chuckle. “Because I’m not done.”

You feel more of the cool, strawberry scented liquid being poured over you. This time when Bucky begins his slow, sweet torture, it’s with both hands and mouth. Instinctively, you bend your knees and lift your hips up, wanting to open yourself up a bit more for Bucky. You groan as a long slender finger pushes into you.

“You ok?” Bucky asks.

“Yes,” you sigh. “Please, keep going.”

Bucky growls lowly as he presses a kiss to your left cheek. “Fuck, doll,” he sighs as he begins to move his finger. “I love that you’re into this.”

Honestly, you’re pretty sure that you’d be into anything Bucky suggests. He seriously makes your crazy with want. And with Bucky, you want everything. Your breath hitches and you bite your lip as he adds a second finger. “Oh, God, Buck…” you pant.

“Shh…” He sooths, rubbing his metal hand over your ass as his flesh one works you open. “Gotta get you nice and ready babydoll,” he explains. “Gotta open you up real good for my cock.”

You whimper and your whole body shudders at the thought of what Bucky’s suggesting. It’s arousing as hell.

“You up for that, Sweetheart?” He asks, his voice low and sultry. “Can I put my cock in your ass?”

“God. Yes,” you reply, surprising yourself. “Please. I want your cock, Bucky.”

You feel his teeth scrape against your cheek. “Where? You have to tell me where, doll.”

Whimpering, you look back over your shoulder, at least as much as you can. Bucky’s smirking. He never ceases to surprise you. For someone who was nearly gonna be known as Father Barnes, he sure does have a lot of deviant ways about him. And you? You love every bit of it though. In fact, you encourage it. You open your mouth to speak, but before you can say a word, he begins working a third finger inside you. “Oh fuck,” you moan. “Fuck…”

“You’re so wet,” he notes as his metal hand slides over your pussy in an effort to get you to relax a bit more. “Dripping all over the place.”

“Bucky, please,” you whine, unable to take any more of his glorious torture as he toys with your clit. “Please fuck me. Fuck my ass, baby.”

He laughs softly as he continues to thrust and twist his fingers. “It will be my pleasure, doll.”

You whine a few moments later as his fingers disappear, leaving you feeling oddly empty. His hands are now on your hips lifting you up a bit. You feel his cock against your leg. It’s hot and hard and you feel a dribble of precum trickling down the back of your thigh.

“Oh, doll,” he says. “You look so pretty right now. Ass in the air, all soaked and ready for me.” He glides his length through your wet folds. “So hot and wet.”

Feeling the tip of his cock teasing your pussy while his thumb continues to dip into your ass, you rock back, desperate for more. He’s just introduced a whole new world to you, and you want it all.

You hear the now familiar snap of a lid followed by the cool chill of liquid pouring onto you. You groan in pure pleasure when you feel two fingers slip back into your ass, preparing you for what’s next. “Yes, doll…” He groans. “You’re so tight. I can’t wait to feel you around my cock. You ready baby?”

“Yes. Yes, please Bucky…”

Carefully, Bucky positions the wet tip of his cock against you and you whine with anticipation. You grasp at the sheets and mash your face into the pillow again. And… “Oh…” You close your eyes tight and bite the fabric as Bucky forces his thick head past your unforgiving ring of muscle. “Oh... shit…”

Bucky caresses your lower back soothingly. “Relax, doll,” he tells you as he pulls back slightly before driving forward again, gaining a little more depth. “Shh… You’re doing so good.” He continues to repeat this action, uttering words of encouragement until you relax and finally—finally your body willingly lets him in. “You alright, baby?” Bucky asks once he’s completely sheathed inside you.

You nod your head, uncertain of how your voice will sound if you speak, and a few stray tears spill from the corners of your eyes. Holy shit that was intense. It felt nothing like his fingers had, but Bucky is gentle and patient. He wants you to enjoy this. You take a deep breath and wiggle your hips a tiny bit.

Bucky grunts quietly, obviously trying to keep it together. “You ready for me to move?” He asks, his voice wavering slightly.

“I think so,” you tell him even though your full of trepidation. “Just…Just go slow.”

With both hands now on your hips, he withdraws slowly and then carefully eases back in. There is marginally less pain this time, and your breathing tremors. “You feel so good,” Bucky assures as he pulls back again. “So good.”

You whimper his name as he begins to find a steady, but slow rhythm because it’s beginning to feel better. You eventually begin to push back, meeting his thrust as you move to brace yourself with your palms flat against the mattress. Amazing might be a better way to now describe how Bucky’s dick feels gliding back and forth, owning your ass.

“Oh, yes, Bucky…” you cry out as his fingers grip your hips and he begins to move faster and harder. “More, baby… Yes!”

“You like that, doll?” Bucky asks, his breathing becoming a bit erratic as he pumps into you. “Does it feel good?”

“Yes… Yes… So good…”

Bucky’s hands begin to move along your sides, gliding lightly over your heated skin. You groan hotly as he reaches beneath you to tweak your nipples which sends jolts of excitement straight to your core. Another satisfied moan escapes your lips as he leans forward, changing the angle just a bit. His breath ghosts over your back as his metal hand travels down over your stomach in search your clit. You whine as he begins to play with the swollen nub, and in no time, your orgasm begins to build.

“Oh, Bucky…” you keen moments later as your legs begin to tremble. “I’m…, Bucky…. Please…Don’t stop.”

“Oh, sweatheart,” he drawls, his voice close to your ear. “You gonna come for me?” He’s rubbing just a bit harder at your clit. “Does my cock feel good deep in your ass?” You whimper in response as he begins to thrust his hips faster and his mouth attaches itself to you neck, sucking gently.

“Ooh… God, Bucky…” You love it when he gets into the dirty talk. It was never something you expected from him and it still surprises you sometimes. “Fuck…”

“I’m close too, doll,” he murmurs, biting at the nape of your neck. “Go ahead, come for me,” he growls.

And just like that, the dam breaks and your orgasm rips through you. Your body trembles and shakes, and he holds you through it, still fingering your clit until you shudder, giggling slightly at the intensity of your release. “That’s it doll,” he breathes, as he pulls out of you. “So damn pretty when you come.”

You whimper at the loss, but smile weakly at as you realize what he’s doing.

“Oh… doll,” he groans, as he begins to stroke himself quickly.

“Yes, Bucky… Come all over my ass, baby,” you purr. “Mark it up.”

He shudders and it only takes a few more strokes before he’s coming, moaning loudly and saying your name over and over as you feel the searing wetness of come landing on your hips and back. Then you feel the hot tip of his cock against your ass as he smears the last bit onto your cheek, mumbling about how sexy you look covered in his seed. You grin, biting your lip because damn, how is he real?

Moments later, as you both lay sated in the middle of the bed, Bucky begins to laugh softly. “Thank you for that,” he says

You can’t contain yourself and you join his laughter. “No, no, no. Thank you.” You stare at the ceiling for a moment, just breathing and thinking about what had just happened. “I was not expecting that.”

“Was it good?” Bucky asked, suddenly feeling a bit nervous.

“Oh my God, yes. It was so good, Buck. So unbelievably good,” you say without even a second’s hesitation. “Um, was it good for you?”

“Better than I imagined,” he replies turning his head your way with an illuminating smile. “But then again, I can’t imagine anything being sub-par with you.”

You roll your eyes at his comment. “How do you think I feel about you, ya big doof?”

“I need a shower,” he says, changing the subject once again.

“Me too. So, if you wait and let me take a nap first, I’ll join you.”

Bucky shrugs, turning over to pull you against him. “I could use a nap.”

Later, after you and Bucky spend way too long in the shower, Steve returns from the parish although he immediately retreats to his room, and you decide to go grocery shopping. You usually do it on Sunday, but the three of you have plans for the next day, and you know you won’t have time.

Bucky’s family reunion is tomorrow. The same family reunion that brought you all together a year ago. That is part of the reason Steve chose this month for a vacation. He has only missed one or two of Bucky’s family reunions since they were kids. Bucky’s family is practically Steve’s family.

A little while after you leave, Steve comes out of his room having finished up his weekly email to his parish in New York. He wanders into the kitchen where Bucky is standing by the breakfast bar mixing dressing with a whisk.

“Whatcha making?” Steve questions as he joins Bucky.

 “Tropical Macaroni Salad,” Bucky supplies before telling Steve that it is his fault that he is the one making a dish for the reunion. Steve only laughs and asks why. “Because my girlfriend now wants to sample more of my cooking. The pancakes I made at breakfast the other day wasn’t enough to satisfy her curiosity,” Bucky says with a laugh. “I never had to do this before you opened your big pie-hole.”

“Oh, come on Bucky. You know you like it,” Steve says with a roll of his eyes.

Bucky grins at Steve. “Yeah… and I guess I’ve missed it.”

“Can I taste it?” Steve asks, peering over the counter to look into the bowl of macaroni salad to which Bucky was currently adding the dressing he’d just made.

“Sure, grab a spoon from the drawer over there.”

Steve does as he’s told and soon returns to Bucky’s side. He hands him the spoon and waits patiently for Bucky to hand it back, piled high with what looks like the tastiest macaroni salad he’s ever seen. As he tastes it, he leans his hip against the counter and moans in delight. “So good, Buck,” he mumbles as he chews.

Bucky smiles, obviously pleased that his dish garnered a positive review, and goes about looking for the lid to the bowl he used for the macaroni salad. “Great. I haven’t made this one before.”

“So, you looking forward to tomorrow?” Steve asks while walking away to put the spoon in the sink. He notices there are dishes to be done, so he starts filling the sink with soap and water. He hears Bucky sigh heavily, which causes him to look back at him. “What was that for?”

“I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow, no. I’m actually kind of dreading it.”

“What?” Steve can hardly believe that. They’ve always had so much fun at the reunions. “Why?”

“Because I just know I’m going to be asked a hundred and one questions about why I’m not ordained, and you know how my aunts can be.”

“Just tell them the truth,” Steve says with a shrug.

A cynical laugh is Bucky’s response while he puts the fresh macaroni salad in the refrigerator. “That I’m weak and couldn’t resist the need for sex?”

“No,” Steve begins, glaring into the sink to keep from looking at Bucky with disdain. “Tell them that you changed your mind. You don’t have to tell them exactly what changed your mind. Besides, obviously, you weren’t meant to take that path, or it would have been easier to resist.”

“I guess you’re right, but they’re still gonna ask…”

“It will be fine. And I got your back, Buck.”

“Thanks, Pal.” Bucky finally notices what Steve is doing and frowns. “You don’t have to wash my dishes, Steve.”

Steve shrugs his shoulders. “Not like I’m doing anything else at the moment.”

“Well thanks.”

“No problem,” Steve smiles brightly at Bucky. “You know, I talked to Bishop Phillips this morning.”

“Yeah?” Bucky inquires, leaning back against the counter next to where Steve is elbows deep in dishwater. “How’s he doing? I haven’t talked to him in a while. I guess I should sometime.”

“You don’t go to Mass at all? What about when you need confession?”

Bucky shrugs his shoulders as he grabs a dish towel. “That’s what I have you for.”

“Buck…”

“I know. I need to go to Mass. I just haven’t been able to bring myself to go. I haven’t exactly been St. Agnes lately.” Bucky takes the bowl that Steve is handing him and begins to dry it. “So, how’s Phillips?”

Steve sighs at Bucky’s comment but decides not to say anything further on the matter of Mass or confession. “Phillips is good. Talking about retiring.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. He wants to recommend me to take his place, but he wasn’t sure if I wanted to move back.”

Bucky places the dried bowl to the side. “And do you?”

“I’ve been in New York for a long time,” Steve begins. “I got a lot of reasons to stay there.”

“Are you even going to think about it?” Bucky asks, taking another dish from Steve as their eyes meet for a second.

“I don’t know. I mean, this is home, and you’re here…” Steve trails off for a moment before continuing. “But honestly, why else would I come back?”

Bucky doesn’t reply with anything more than a shrug at first, but after a moment, he says, “I guess you have to do whatever feels right.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. “I just think that I belong in New York right now.”

They’re still washing dishes when you return carrying an armful of groceries. You stop, smiling at them working together as if it were something they do every day. Then you realize it _was_ probably something they used to do every day. They were roommates for a long time after all. Steve notices you first when he hears you trying to set all the bags of groceries on the counter. Then Bucky looks back, smiling as he put the dish he’s drying down in favor of helping you with the groceries. “Are there anymore in the car?”

“No this is it,” You reply as he takes the last bag from you. “Thanks.”  

“How’d you even get in the door?” Bucky asks, pointing towards all the groceries that you just carried in.

“I’ve got skills,” you say with a grin. “What did you boys get into while I was gone?”

“I made macaroni salad. Steve says it’s delicious, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to try it.”

You pout at your boyfriend hoping that he’s joking. “Why?”

“Because that’s my rule.”

“But Steve got to taste it,” you argue.

Steve glances at you over his shoulder and shrugs apologetically as Bucky explains that once it’s sealed up and goes in the fridge, no one touches it until it’s being served. “He used to do this to me all the time. It’s why I seriously questioned whether or not he has OCD.”

You think it’s the most absurd idea you’ve ever heard, but whatever, it’s not that big of a deal. You’ll just sneak into it later anyway. “Fine. You can put all this away then. I’m going to go do some laundry now.”

You leave them alone again, planning to strip your bed and wash the sheets. You are certain they smell like sex and strawberries, so they definitely need to be washed. After you take them off the mattress, you bundle them up in your arms and head towards the washer in the back room of your apartment. Along the way, you hear something fall to the floor, but before you could see what it was, Steve who was coming out of the kitchen notices and picks it up for you.

He reads the label, and then shakes his head in amusement. “You dropped something.”

You look at the small bottle of strawberry flavored lube that Steve is holding out to you. “Um… That… That actually belongs to Bucky,” you say matter-of-factly, watching Steve’s face color up before you continue on your way. “You should give it to him. And tell him that I said to stop leaving it on the bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are appreciated!
> 
> Also, I will be away on Vacation most of next week, so I don't know for sure if I will get the next chapter done before I leave. So sorry if there is a long delay. :(


	10. Chapter Ten

This time as you dress for the reunion, you’re not as worried about your choice of clothing. You aren’t worried about impressing anyone. You’ve probably already sealed your fate with some of the family, you’re sure. You fear that you are most likely known as “that girl that steered Bucky away from his righteous path.” You can already feel the judgement from some of his and Katrina’s family. It doesn’t bother you as much as it had in the beginning though. What do they know anyway? You quickly settle for a pair of cutoff shorts and an olive-green tank top.

Katrina arrives at your apartment a little while after you finish dressing. “Where’s Buck?” she asks, joining you in the kitchen for coffee.

“At mass with Steve,” you reply. “Since this is Steve’s last Sunday here, he asked Bucky to go with him. Of course, I think it was more because Bucky hasn’t been going on his own and Steve felt obligated to try and change that.” You pull two cups from the cupboard and set them down next to the coffee maker. “They should be back soon.”

“So how has it been having Steve here for the last three weeks?”

You finish pouring the coffee before taking them to the table with you. “It’s been good,” you reply. “There’s definitely never a dull moment with those two.”

Katrina laughs. “Do they still act like the old married couple that they secretly are?”

“There have been moments,” you say with a smile, thinking back to the few times you walked in on Bucky and Steve arguing over something petty or when you caught them doing incredibly domestic things together. “Steve has been a fantastic guest though. And I think it’s been great for Bucky having him here. I think he missed him more than I realized.”

“Yeah well they lived together for so long, I’m sure it’s been a huge change for both of them.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” You sigh, taking a sip of your coffee. There are times you feel genuinely bad for separating the two friends. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad if they were both in the same city; or state even. “So, about the reunion, does it change from year to year or will it be just like last years?”

Katrina shrugs. “Pretty much like last year. Sit round with people you don’t see or care to see all day and then eat a shit-ton of food before sitting around some more.”

“Bucky and Steve suggested that we hang out for a while and then split after eating. They want to go up to the swimming hole where they hung out as teenagers.”

“Out on Belcher’s Road?”

“Yeah,” you nod, wondering why Katrina had never mentioned the place to you if she’d known about it. There could have been some fun adventures if you’d known about it in high school.

“Sound cool. I don’t think the teens even go up there anymore so a few adults showing up, acting like kids, shouldn’t be a big deal.” Katrina sipped at her coffee and grabbed a donut from the box sitting on the table. “Anything is better than being at the reunion.”

“Honestly, I didn’t think it was that bad last year. I don’t understand why you don’t like going to them.”

“Yeah, well of course you didn’t think it was bad. It’s not your family, and you met Bucky there. Basically, changed your life because you went with me.”

“True, but your family didn’t seem to be all that bad.” You feel like you’re trying to convince yourself as much as you are her.

“I managed to avoid the worst ones,” Katrina joked.                   

“So, what do you think they’ll say about me? I know Bucky is kind of nervous about going even though both Steve and I have tried to reassure him.”

Katrina shrugs. “I haven’t heard anyone say anything about Bucky or about you. I don’t think it was really a big deal to most of them. Although, there were a few individuals who seemed to think it was an absurd idea for him to wanna do that anyway, and they were just waiting for him to fail.”

“Oh…” you say, your face falling even more at the idea that you helped prove them right.  

“They’re the same ones I try to avoid. They have an opinion about everything and know next to nothing about anything.”

You hear the apartment door open and Bucky and Steve’s voices interrupt your conversation with Katrina. You smirk, listening to their lively banter as they make their way into the kitchen.

“Hey gorgeous!” Katrina greets, jumping up to hug Steve.

“Squirt,” he replies, grinning as she scowls at him. She’s done really well with not flirting with him, but she still tries to insert herself into his space at every opportunity. It makes you wonder for a split second if maybe her feelings for him are more than just physical like she insists they are.

Bucky leans down behind you, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek. “Hey, baby.”

You smile, turning to look up at him. “Hey. How was Mass?”

“Good. I’m glad I went,” he replies as he sheds his jacket and starts to loosen his tie. “I’m going to go get changed so we can leave.”

You shake your head, laughing behind your ceramic mug as Katrina follows Steve to the counter where he pours himself a cup of coffee. She’s chattering non-stop about what they should do at the reunion, and Steve is being as polite as ever, nodding as he picks up his mug and back-steps out of the kitchen. “I have to go get changed too, squirt. Fill me in on the way there.”

Katrina slides back into her chair, frowning as she does. “I know what Bucky said about him being off limits, and I’m seriously trying not to want to bang him; but damn,” she says. “I think he got hotter." 

About an hour later, you arrive at the reunion. You’re all greeted by Katrina and Bucky’s Grandma Betts. She’s sitting on the front porch of the big, white, farmhouse in a rocking chair; smiling as you walk up the steps. “Hey, Gramma!” Bucky says as he leans down to hug Betts. “You the official welcoming committee this year?”

“As always!” She replies before waving the rest of you in for a hug. As Steve lets go of her, she smiles up at him. “So nice to see you, Steven. How are things in New York?”

Steve smiles at Betts. “You too, Grandma Betts. Sorry I haven’t come by here before now, I’ve missed you! As for New York, things are great. I’ve settled in really well.”

“I’m glad to hear it, I want to know all about your life there; and don’t you worry about not coming to see me. You need to make the most out of your visit. I’m sure you won’t have a lot of chances to come home for a while.”

“No probably not.”

While Steve sits down in the rocking chair next to Betts, Bucky grabs your hand and pulls you onward. Katrina follows, knowing that Steve will catch up once he and Grandma Betts are done talking. You know from experience that chats with Bucky & Katrina’s grandma can be lengthy, and you’re sure the one she’s having with Steve will be just that.

The reunion is in full swing when you reach the back yard. There are kids running around and adults are playing horseshoes and other yard games in various spots throughout. Just as it was last year, there are tables upon tables of food and drinks. You smile fondly remembering last year’s reunion.

“I’ll take this and get us some drinks,” Katrina says, taking the Tupperware bowl of macaroni salad from Bucky and leaving you both standing at the top of the porch steps.

“Do you want to mingle?” You ask Bucky who is staring out over the yard with a look of dread plastered on his face. You hate seeing that expression on his otherwise, content face.

“Not just yet,” he replies. “I’m not really up for it right now. Let’s just sit up here for a while.”

You nod, understandingly as you let him lead you over to one of the porch swings. As you sit down, he sighs causing you to glance at him in concern. “You gonna be ok?”

“Yeah. I just, you know how family can be, and I haven’t seen a lot of these people since last year. The last they heard; I was heading off to New York to become a priest.”

Part of you knows that Bucky is being a bit over concerned, but you indulge him as well as try to reassure him. You slide your palm against his, lacing your fingers together as you rock slowly back and forth on the swing until Katrina arrives with the drinks. She hands you each a large tumbler of lemonade and then settles down into the rocking chair nearby, setting the extra glass of lemonade on the patio table for Steve.

The three of you stay there for a while until Steve joins you. Then you finally make your way out into the yard where people are mingling in small groups. Bucky leads the way and you find yourself being introduced to even more people than you were the previous year. Some of them you remembered, and some remembered you. However, throughout the whole ordeal, you didn’t sense one ounce of negativity or disapproval from anyone. Perhaps you were overthinking things.

Your thoughts are validated when two of Bucky’s aunts hug both of you and congratulate you on your relationship. They even go as far as telling Bucky that they’re glad he didn’t become a priest. Apparently, that job just didn’t suit his personality—at least in their opinions it hadn’t.

The meal is every bit as delicious as you remember last year’s being. However, this year, you and Bucky share a huge slice of chocolate pie afterwards. You grin, holding up a bite for him to eat. “This seems oddly familiar.”

Bucky shakes his head, chewing thoughtfully. “No. If I remember correctly, and I believe I do; you hijacked my pie.”

“I did not!” You defend. “I stole one bite.”

“Thievery is thievery, doll.”

This is one of those moments where reality hits you like a ton of bricks. Last year when you attended this reunion, you never anticipated meeting anyone special. But then there was Bucky; this perfect, specimen of a man that you fell head over heels for and now he’s yours. You can’t help that you’re now staring at him. Everything about him gets to you in one way or another, and sometimes he just takes your breath away. “I love you,” you proclaim before he can question your gaze.

Bucky’s lips curve into a slow smile and he leans in to kiss you.  As always, his kiss is soft and gentle. It’s not meant to stir every nerve in your body, but it does. “I love you, too,” he says, pulling back after a moment.

“Get a room!” Katrina says as she and Steve return to the table with their own desserts. “Geez, can’t leave you two alone for a second!”

You chuckle, locking eyes with Bucky for another minute before taking a bite of pie for yourself.

As planned, you don’t stay at the reunion much longer. Everyone says their goodbyes and you head up to the swimming hole. When you arrive, there actually are a several people already there. Some are leaving and some are in the water.

You soon find out that a few of them are people that both Steve and Bucky had known years ago. Apparently, the swimming hole is no longer as popular with the teenagers, instead it’s a place where adults who used to hang out there as teens, now bring their children for family outings on Sundays.

It turns out to be a fun-filled evening. You meet some new people and manage to get in the water, even though you don’t swing and jump from the ropes like nearly every other adult is doing. You just don’t have the confidence that says you won’t face-plant into the ground or worse; into a tree. It’s more fun watching everyone else try doing it anyway.

Katrina cozied up to the only single dad there not long after you arrived. Despite the fact that you thought she might be doing it to try to make Steve jealous or at least make him notice her, she seems to be having a great time with him and his son too. The sight of the trio brings a smile to your face. You want Katrina to find someone like you did. You want her to feel the same happiness that you feel when you’re with Bucky. Perhaps this guy could be that for her—or maybe just a step along the way to realizing what she really wants in life.

Bucky and Steve make friends with a few of the kids. They’re all between the ages of seven and twelve, and several of them are fascinated by Bucky’s arm. It warms your heart to see Bucky being so carefree and playful despite his usual uncomfortableness when it comes to the arm. As you watch him, you suddenly find yourself imagining what he might be like as a dad. The thought shakes you a bit because you’ve never even considered having kids someday; but now, seeing Bucky with these kids? You’re very much considering the idea. Even one of the mothers who is relaxing in the water next to you acknowledges how good he is with kids.

After a while of treading water, chatting with some of the other ladies, and floating around, you notice that Steve is no longer there. You look around and find him sitting on the bank, feet dangling near the water’s edge as he watches everyone else splash about. You study him for a moment. He seems content, but at the same time he seems troubled. You’ve witnessed the look on his face before and it fills you with curiosity. You begin to move to the water’s edge so you can get out and join him when you notice where his eyes seem to be transfixed. You sigh, feeling a peculiar jolt of sadness fill your soul.

Only days before, Steve had shared some of his past with you including that he’d once found the love of his life, but nothing had ever happened between them. Now seeing such intense longing in Steve’s eyes as he stares, you realize who he was talking about. It nearly breaks your heart.

As you sit down next to him, he smiles politely, letting you know that he appreciates the company. You don’t say anything at first. You simply watch. Your eyes fall on Bucky, and your heart flutters at the sight of him; hair dripping wet, tendrils of water cascading over his toned torso. He’s just so damn beautiful. There’s no wonder people of all ages gravitate towards him. “He’s good with kids,” you say, breaking the silence between you and Steve.

Steve nods, glancing up at Bucky who’s still happily playing in the water with a couple of kids, Katrina, and her new friend. “He is. They do seem to love him.” He reaches down to pull up a long blade of grass; rolling it between his fingers, as if he needs something to concentrate on.

“Does he know?”

“Know what?” Steve asks, a small smirk on his lips. “That he’s good with kids or that they love him?”

“No. Does he know that _you’re_ in love with him?” You see the color drain from his face and his eyes grow wide, but you only smile warmly, trying to let him know that you aren’t upset with him. Honestly, how could you be? It’s Steve. They were a duo long before you ever walked into the picture. You’re not even the tiniest bit jealous.

“I… I don’t…”

It’s really adorable how he’s stammering around. Even with his newly ordained awkwardness last year, he’d never seemed this nervous around you. “Steve, it’s ok.”

He still doesn’t admit anything, but after another moment of floundering around for words, he finally gives up, heaving a sigh before asking, “Why do you think that?”

“It’s pretty obvious. I mean, I didn’t really think about it at first, but this month—having you two together under the same roof day and night—has been enlightening in so many ways. And just now, the way you were watching him? I know that look, Steve.” You glance over at him and he’s looking down at his trembling hands, noticeably scared and nervous. “So, again; does he know?”

Looking up, but avoiding your gaze, Steve shakes his head. “No… No, of course he doesn’t.”

“Why haven’t you ever told him?”

“And risk losing him completely?” Steve’s eyes glisten with the threat of tears and you wonder how long he’s carried this secret; this burden. “No. It was—is—so much safer to just bottle it up and love him in silence.”

“I don’t think you’d lose him,” you say. “Bucky loves you, Steve. He cares a great deal about you. I learned that a long time ago.”

“But it’s not the same. He loves me as a friend; as a brother. Bucky isn’t attracted to other men. Never has been. And what difference would it make now anyways? I’m a priest! It’s not like I can have a relationship with anyone, and in case you haven’t noticed; he is crazy about you.” Steve is adamant in his statement, more serious than you’ve ever seen him, to be honest. “And I really don’t want to ruin our friendship over feelings that I shouldn’t even have in the first place.”

That’s when it all clicks for you. When Bucky had told you about Steve struggling with some heavy stuff in high school, something that led him to the church; this must be what it was. “This is why you became a priest isn’t it? Because it’s your way of guaranteeing that you’ll never act on your feelings.”

“Yeah, basically,” Steve explains with another heavy sigh. “I was raised Catholic with strong morals. Imagine how freaked out I got when I realized I had those kinds of feelings for my best friend.”

“How long has it been, Steve?”

“We were fifteen.”

He’s looking down again, still unable to look at you; so, you reach out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Oh, Steve. I can’t imagine.”

“I tried to ignore it. I even started dating a girl from our class. It worked for a while. I mean, the feelings were still there, but I had a distraction. A reason to shove them out of my mind. Then by our senior year, I got more involved in church. Bucky and I eventually drifted apart. It was so much easier to deal emotionally without being around him all the time. So, I just let it happen.”

“Then the accident…” you say without having to think about it. You already know this because Bucky had told you about how their friendship had been in an uncertain place until then.

“Yeah,” Steve confirms with a nod as he finally looks at you and a single tear spills over his cheek. You wonder if it was because he is remembering or because he’s terrified to be telling you everything. “I was so afraid that he might not wake up. That I was really going to lose him…” He pauses, shaking his head, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this. You’re his girlfriend…”

You take a deep breath, exhaling slowly as you think about how to respond to that. You know how weird it is to be having this conversation with someone who’s in love with the same guy that you are. It’s crazy really, but you can’t find it in yourself to be upset. “Yes. I’m his girlfriend, but I’m also your friend, and believe it or not; I do understand.” You sigh when Steve only stares at you. “He’s been fortunate to have you, Steve. You told me last week that I gave him life. I don’t think that’s true. You were there helping him live long before I was.”

He’s quiet for a stretch after that. He seems to be contemplating what you just said. It’s true. As much as you like the idea of being the person who made Bucky live again, you can’t take all the credit. Steve had been his lifeline, and even though it wasn’t exactly the life that Bucky wanted, it kept him afloat until he found the one he did.

“Did you ever tell him why you decided to become a priest?”

“I’ve never told anyone the real reason. Especially not Bucky. Please…” he looks at you, his face a mask of despair. “He can never know.”

You nod, hating the fact that you now have a secret that you can never share with Bucky, but at the same time, you understand Steve’s worry. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think Bucky would think any less of you for being gay or bi or whatever you identify yourself as. He cares about you too much to let something like that come between you.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Steve says solemnly.

You honestly can’t imagine Bucky feeling any differently about Steve, no matter what his feelings are, but trying to convince Steve of that is a whole different ballgame. He’s not even allowing himself the pleasure of thinking that Bucky wouldn’t care.

You don’t get back in the water for the rest of the evening and neither does Steve.

By the time you get back to your apartment, it’s after dark and everyone is exhausted. You take a quick shower to rid yourself of the sweat and grime from the day. Then while everyone else takes turns doing the same, you throw a frozen pizza in the oven.

Katrina opts to spend the night at your place. When she gets out of the shower, Steve offers to take the couch so she can sleep in his bed, but Katrina is coy and stubborn. She tells him that the only way she wants to sleep in his bed is if he is in it too.

“You best be thankful Bucky didn’t hear that,” you tease, tossing a pillow and an extra blanket onto the couch before going back to the kitchen to check on the pizza.

Steve lifts a questioning brow and Katrina sighs as she towel-dries her hair. “Yeah. I’m not supposed to mess with you. Bucky’s orders.”

“What?” Steve asks, somewhat amused, but also curious.

“He says I can’t flirt with you and say inappropriate things anymore. Especially since I only want to play with you,” she says that last part with a flirtatious wink.

“Um…” Steve sits there for a moment staring at Katrina. “That’s why you’ve been behaving yourself more than usual?”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “It’s been tough, but Bucky’s concerned about your wellbeing as a priest.”

“Well, I do appreciate the concern. And thank you for trying to behave. Though, I’ve been around you long enough to handle your wayward tendencies.”

Katrina obviously ignores what he labeled her flirtations and jumps right back into it. “Are you giving me permission to continue Father Steve?”

From the kitchen you can still hear and see them, and you snicker at her choice of name for Steve; because even to you, Father Rogers just doesn’t sound as sweet rolling off the tongue.

“Can I confess? How does it go?” Katrina scoots closer to Steve on the couch, placing a hand on his bicep. “Something like; Forgive me Daddy. I’ve been a bad, bad girl.”

Steve stifles a laugh but his eyes glitter with amusement. However, before he can respond or excuse himself, you hear Bucky’s voice from the hallway, scolding Katrina. Surprisingly, Steve is the one who stands, putting his hands up in defense. “Calm down, Buck. She’s only joking.”

“It’s inappropriate,” Bucky gripes. “She shouldn’t be saying that kind of thing to you and she knows it.”

You see the disappointment and anger on Bucky’s face as you lean up against the kitchen doorframe, wanting to make sure this doesn’t get out of hand. It’s kind of odd seeing Bucky get so infuriated over this when you did the same thing to him only a year ago.

“I’m not disagreeing, but it’s nothing to get bent out of shape over. Kat’s like a sister to me, you know that. I’ve learned to roll with her innuendo over the years.”

“I’m sorry, Cuz. He’s just so darn cute, I can’t resist teasing him,” Katrina says with a sigh as she stands up, touching Steve’s arm again. “I’m sorry, Steve. I’m an immature brat.”

Steve smiles warmly, pulling her into a hug and kissing the top of her head. “It’s ok, Squirt. You know I love you.”

“Love you, too, Jerk.”

It takes a few more moments for the tension in the air to leave, but once it does, the four of you manage to fall back into your routine comradery over pizza, beer, and a three-hour movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading!  
> Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	11. Chapter Eleven

When Steve walks into the kitchen the next morning wearing shorts and a white tank top, you smile from your workspace on the countertop next to the stove. “Good morning,” you greet. You’d been up for nearly two hours. After you showered, you cleaned up the living room from the night before; careful not to wake Katrina who was still sound asleep on the couch. Despite Steve having offered his bed, she’d still wound up falling asleep there.

“Good morning,” he replies, his voice still rough with sleep. “You’re up awful early.”

“Yeah. I woke up and couldn’t fall back to sleep, so I got up. I wanted to make you guys breakfast before you set out for the day anyway. Coffee should be done.”

“Thanks,” he says, going to the cupboard for a mug. “You want a cup too?”

“Of course,” you reply while beating eggs with a whisk. Steve and Bucky are going hiking so you figure a nice protein-packed breakfast will get them off to a good start.

A moment later, Steve brings a cup over to you. You notice that he even added the creamer for you. That makes you smile because it’s the little things. “Bucky up yet?” he asks, as he leans back against the counter next to you with his own mug.

“Nah. He was still snoring when I got up.”

He nods, taking a sip of hot coffee. “So, I just wanna say thank you,” he says in a hushed tone. “You know, for being so cool with the whole um…situation.”

You smile. “There’s no need to thank me.”

“Yes there is,” he argues. “Not everyone would be as chill about that kind of thing. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I like you then.”

He smirks as he brings the cup up to his lips again. “Yeah. I guess it is.” After taking another drink, he continues, “and as far as significant others go, I guess you’re a pretty good choice for him…all things considered.”

“Hey!” You feign offense, gaping at him with wide eyes.

A bright, teasing smile graces Steve’s face and you smack his arm with the back of your hand. “Watch it Rogers. I don’t care if you are a man of God, I will whip you’re a…butt.”

He snickers. “You kinda ruined the threat by watching your language.”

You roll your eyes, letting him know that you really don’t care.

“But I do appreciate the thoughtfulness,” he says with a wink.

You’re a bit thrown by his playfulness this morning. If you didn’t know better, you would think he is flirting with you. “You really should,” you finally say. “Because when I’m not being cautious, my mouth could probably make a sailor blush.”

He lifts a curious brow at first but then chuckles. “Actually, I can believe that.”

“Do you want bacon or sausage?” You ask as you walk away from the stove to open the refrigerator.

“Is that a trick question?”

“Bacon it is,” you say as you grab the package from the drawer. “I don’t know what you two have against sausage.”

“I don’t have anything against it. I just like bacon better. Like a normal, meat-eating person.” He watches you open the package and begin to put the slices one of the skillets you already had on the stovetop. “Can I help you with anything?”

You shake your head. “Not unless you wanna cut up some fruit.”

“I can do that.”

A few minutes later, you’re both busy working on breakfast. You’re frying the bacon and eggs while he works next to you slicing up some fruit. You catch him sneaking bites of melon as he cuts it. “You’re not going to have room for your bacon if you fill up on fruit,” you warn.

Steve gives you an incredulous look and pops another slice of melon in his mouth. “There’s always room for bacon,” he says as he chews.

“That’s right,” Bucky says joining the two of you in the kitchen clad only in the dark blue boxers that he wore to bed. He leans around Steve, his arm brushing against him as he picks up a piece of melon for himself. “Always room for bacon. Which by the way, smells delicious.”

“Glad to see you finally get your butt out of bed.” You glance over at Steve, looking for any reaction to Bucky’s proximity. He doesn’t look up though. He simply continues cutting the melon. You feel like he might be even more cautious now that he has shared his secret with you. The thought of that makes you a little bit sad. You don’t want Steve to be awkward or uncomfortable around Bucky.

“I figured I better. Especially, when I smelled the bacon. Didn’t want Rogers here to hog it all,” Bucky explains as he leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. “Good morning, by the way.”

You return the greeting with a smile before asking him to go wake Katrina because breakfast is almost ready. Of course, he grimaces at the idea because you all know how Katrina is if woken up before she wants to be; but he goes anyway. Once he’s gone, your gaze catches Steve’s as he finally looks up. “I hope that me knowing your secret doesn’t make things awkward between you and Bucky.” You say it in a whisper because you don’t want to be overheard in the somewhat small apartment.

“Is there anything you don’t notice?” He asks with a small laugh.

“I’m a very observant person.”

“So I am learning,” he explains while he puts the last of the fruit in the bowl. “It just feels a little weird,” he continues as he takes the bowl of fruit to the table. “I mean, if you pick up on things enough to put it all together, then maybe I’m being too transparent. Plus, I have never had to deal with someone knowing before. It’s a bit unnerving.”

“You don’t have to act any differently, Steve. Nothing has really changed.”

He gives you and appreciative smile but doesn’t respond with words.

Following breakfast, Katrina helps your do the dishes while the guys are getting ready to go hiking. Shortly afterwards, Katrina leaves, so you head off to the bedroom to get changed for work. Bucky is sitting on the bed, tying up his hiking boots. “How far do you think you guys will hike?” You ask as you open your closet door to search for something to wear.

“I don’t know. We haven’t done it in a while so it depends on our stamina, I guess.”

You can’t stop yourself from snickering at that remark. “I have it on good authority that you have plenty of stamina.”

Bucky’s laughter is light, but you know he’s probably shaking his head in amazement at your endless, gutter mind. “Hey, have you noticed anything different about Steve since yesterday?”

You look back over your shoulder. “How do you mean?”

Bucky’s shoulders lift in a slight shrug. “I don’t know, he just seems quieter; not as lively as usual. Like at breakfast, he didn’t say much of anything.”

“That’s not true. He and Katrina had a nice conversation about the guy she met yesterday when we went swimming.”

“I think that was just because he’s glad she’s finally focusing her lust on someone other than him. And even that was a short conversation. He just didn’t seem to have much to say.”

Turning around, you lean against the doorframe of your closet, studying your boyfriend for a moment. He looks genuinely concerned about his best friend. It’s kind of sweet how he picks up on even the most subtle change in Steve. “Maybe he’s just sad that his vacation is nearly over.”

“Maybe,” he agrees with a sigh.

“Maybe you should ask him about it today. Ya know, just to make sure nothing is wrong. I mean, if you’re that concerned.”

“Nah,” Bucky says as he stands up. “If it’s something he wants to talk about, he will.”

After they leave the apartment, you head off to work. You spend the morning idly working on a few short articles and blubs for this weeks edition. Your mind keeps wondering to Bucky and Steve. You hope they’re having a good time. Around noon, you’re curiosity is put to rest as you begin receiving text messages and pictures. They’ve made it to the highest point of their hike and the view is breathtaking. Bucky sends you a few shots of the landscape as well as a few selfies with Steve along the hike. The last one he sends is of Steve eating a sandwich when they stopped to eat lunch. It was accompanied with a message telling you that he’s acting more like himself now.

You smile and respond with a smiley-face emoji and a thumbs up before moving on to the message that Steve sent you. It was another picture. A selfie of him and Bucky, both feigning exhaustion as they drip with sweat from the mid-morning heat. You grin mischievously as you type a response asking him what exactly they’d been doing.

Steve replies almost immediately with a simple “Haha,” followed by the blushing emoji which surprises you a little. However, after you think about it for a while, you hope that it’s because Steve feels comfortable with you and he trusts you with the secret that he’s never been able to discuss with anyone. It’s probably a relief to him—an outlet of sorts.

When you get home that evening, the house is quiet. You set the box of pastries from the coffee shop down on the kitchen table. You’d stopped in after leaving work, figuring it would be a nice treat for the guys when they get back. You also decided before you even left work that you’re going to take a nice long bubble bath when you got home.

So you head into the bathroom and start drawing your bath. While the tub is filling, you light a couple of scented candles on the vanity and gather your towels. You even go back to the kitchen for the half a bottle of wine that you know is still in the refrigerator.

The water is hot and soothing as you sink down into the bubbles. You can feel your body relaxing the moment you get settled. It’s been a while since you’ve indulged in any pampering, so you plan to make the best of the time you have.

At some point you get so relaxed that you doze off. That’s where Bucky finds you. He’s kneeling by the tub, brushing his fingers over your cheek as you awake. “Buck?”

His lips curve into a smile as you turn your face into his palm. “Hey, doll. You fell asleep,” he points out the obvious, but you only sigh in response. “You must have been exhausted,” he continues. “The water is getting cold.”

“Yeah,” you say as you sit up from where you were resting against the back of the tub. “I’m gonna get out. And it was the wine,” you say motioning toward the nearly empty bottle next to the tub. “Guess it helped me relax a little too much.” You giggle slightly at the way Bucky looks at you with a lifted brow.

“Ok. Well I’m glad you had time to relax and enjoy yourself,” he says, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips as he stands. He grabs the wine glass and what’s left of the wine. “I’m going to go put another bottle in to chill so we can have it with dinner. I’m going to make that chicken cacciatore tonight,” he says with a wink. “After I shower off all the nastiness of today though.”

“Aren’t you tired?” You ask, looking at him incredulously.

He shakes his head. “Nope. I’m still pretty energized. We stopped by the grocery store on the way home for all the stuff I need.”

“Ok then. I’m not going to argue when I don’t have to cook.”

About twenty minutes later, you walk into the living room. After having rinsed off in the shower and washed your hair, you went to your room to dress. Since Bucky was going to make a nice dinner tonight, you figured it might be suitable to dress up a bit. So, you slipped on a blue and white, strapless sun dress. “Where’s Bucky?” You ask, noticing that Steve is the only one in the living room.

He looks up at you from where he’s lounging on the couch with the TV remote in his hand. “He’s taking a shower. He went in right after he heard you come out.”

You sit down in one of the armchairs, across from where Steve is laying. “So today was good?”

“Yeah,” he says as he sits up. “We had a great time.”

“Good, I’m glad. Sorry about the text by the way. It was probably really inappropriate.”

Steve nods, making a face that tells you it was highly inappropriate before a smile breaks out, betraying his seriousness. “But it did make me laugh.”

A while later, Steve is taking his turn in the shower while you’re in the kitchen watching Bucky work. You offered to help him, but he declined saying that he’d made this dinner so many times he could do it with his eyes closed.

“It must be a favorite,” you say from your seat at the breakfast bar.

“It was Steve’s favorite,” he clarifies. “I made it one night after watching way too much of the food network, and he fell in love with it. I thought it was ok, but not necessarily a favorite.”

You listen as he talks about the first night he made the cacciatore. You really want to know more about the life that he and Steve lived in New York. He doesn’t talk about it much, but when he does, he speaks with a certain fondness. Until recently, you had chalked it up to him missing his best friend. Now you’re wondering if he doesn’t somehow know how Steve feels about him.

Steve wanders in somewhere in the middle of your conversation and smiles at the memory as he leans on the breakfast bar opposite to the side you’re sitting at. “Smells familiar in here,” he says.

Bucky looks over his shoulder, smiling too. “It should.”

“What sides are we having?” Steve asks.

“Broccoli sautéed in garlic sauce and rice.”

You look at Steve and he grins at you. “You’re gonna love this.”

He’s not wrong. The first bite has you hooked, and the red wine that Bucky picked from your meager stash goes perfectly with it. Steve is savoring every bite and Bucky is taking his time with his own while watching the two of you enjoy his masterpiece.

“Thank you so much for making this,” Steve says. “I’ve missed it so much.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Bucky acknowledges, a look of pride on his face. “What about you?” He asks, looking your way. “Do you like it?”

“It’s delicious,” you say with a nod. “I can see why it was a big hit.”

The three of you make small talk for a while as you eat. You talk about their hiking trip and a little about their plans for the rest of the week. With Steve leaving on Friday, Bucky had planned for the week off of work. They want to spend the last week getting in as much last minute stuff as they can.

“So I don’t think either of you have ever told me how you met,” you say as you take a sip of your wine. “I mean I know you have known each other since childhood, but how did you actually meet?”

“First grade,” Steve says without hesitation. “I was the new kid and Bucky was the only one in our class who would talk to me that first day.” He frowns. “I dunno, maybe it was that whole week.”

“It was definitely the whole week,” Bucky agrees. “The teacher put him at the desk next to mine, so I felt obligated to make sure he felt welcome. He barely spoke though. So later when we went to recess, he sat down on one of the swings; and I remember him looking so alone and miserable.”

“You really remember all of that?” Steve inquires, putting his fork down in favor of resting his chin on his hands. “I barely remember anything other than you being nice to me.”

“Gee, thanks!” Bucky utters with a roll of his eyes. “Anyway! As I was saying, he looked so sad. So, I left my group of friends and went to sit with him. I don’t think we even talked more than five words that time.”

“Aww, that was so sweet of you, Bucky,” you say. “Being the new kid sucks. I know from experience.”

“No kidding,” Steve agrees. “All I could think about was how much I missed my friends at my old school.”

“But then there was me!” Bucky said triumphantly. “By the end of the week, we were best friends and have been ever since.”

You continue through dinner talking and learning more about each other. Well at least you learn about them and they learn about you. You’re pretty sure if there was ever a quiz based on either one of their lives, the other would ace it.

Afterwards, you begin gathering up the dishes. Steve insists on helping you with them, but you refuse to let him, telling him that you’ve got it all under control and he needs to go relax. Ultimately, he decides to go to bed. He says goodnight and goes off to his bedroom leaving you alone in the kitchen with Bucky who doesn’t let you tell him he can’t help. Despite the fact that he cooked the whole meal, he still helps you clean up.  

In less that a half an hour, the two of you have the kitchen cleaned up and back in order. You smile at Bucky as you lean back against the counter. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he declares as he walks over and slips his arms around your waist. He has a glint of mischief in his eyes which causes you to lift a questioning brow. “I love you,” he whispers.

As your arms wrap around his neck, he leans down, capturing your lips with his. It starts out slow and controlled, but as the moments drag on, he wants more. So he takes more. You whimper, as your tongues roll over one another’s; as his teeth nip at your lips. You feel yourself getting aroused just by his kiss. “God, Bucky,” you sigh as you break away from his mouth for air.

He grins, pressing his forehead against yours as he breathes heavily. You card your fingers through his hair after a moment, just basking in his presence. Reveling in the way you feel when he’s near you—when he kisses you. “I need you,” he whispers hoarsely before his lips are back on yours, hot and heavy.

“Bucky,” you gasp between kisses as he presses you up against the kitchen counter.  Your dress rides up as his hands slide over your thighs to grab at your ass. “What has gotten into you?”

“Mm,” he groans, kissing and nipping at your neck. “Miss you.”

You roll your eyes as you reach back with one hand to steady yourself a bit more. “You’re the one with the stupid rule.”

“Don’t care,” comes his muffled reply, and suddenly you feel just how much he’s missed you.

“Baby, don’t you think…” you try to warn but he rolls his hips and you can’t help but moan in response. This is so unlike Bucky. He has been overly cautious since Steve arrived and now, he doesn’t seem to care that he’s about to ravish you in a very small, very open kitchen.

His mouth is on yours again and he’s effortlessly lifting you up. You gasp when your ass lands on the edge of the counter. “Bucky,” you try again, but he’s not interested so you give in. As his mouth leaves yours, you bite your lip and tilt your head back, giving him access to your entire neck.

He licks and kisses over your throat. His neatly-trimmed beard is tickling your skin, leaving a burning trail as he moves. On you hip, one hand anchors you while the metal one begins to slide up your side. He palms your breast, groaning against your neck as he hooks his fingers in the elastic of your top. He tugs it, along with your strapless bra, down to fully expose your breast. He’s not wasting any time.

“Oh…Bucky…” you cry out in a hushed tone as your nipple is pinched between a cool thumb and forefinger. He continues kissing a path downward until he’s licking and sucking at your nipples, drawing them into hard peaks, one at a time.

While he focuses on devouring your breast, his hand moves down and suddenly you feel it rubbing over the front of your panties. You whine, feeling the thin fabric slide slickly over your folds. “Bucky,” you whisper. “I’m already so wet for you, baby.”

He growls, moving his mouth back up to yours as your hands find their way into his short, wavy hair. You tug at the locks, moaning into his mouth as he pulls your panties to the side and eases a finger into your wetness. He’s never done this before—not with that hand. It feels extremely naughty to want that hard, metal part of Bucky Barnes inside you, but you have for a while. You just didn’t know how to ask for it.

“This ok?” He asks, breaking away from your kiss for a moment.

“Yes… Oh fuck, yes, Bucky.” You thrust your hips a bit, driving the digit a bit deeper letting him know that you’re more than ok with it.

Moments later, Bucky has two fingers pushing inside you. You can hear the sloshing sound as he works them in and out. The cool metal of his palm bumps repeatedly against your encouraged clit and you’re trying your best not to scream.

“Gonna make you come, darlin’,” he murmurs. “Want you nice and tight around my cock when I fuck you.” He then buries his face against you neck, kissing, licking, and sucking at your pulse point.

You press your mouth against his shoulder, trying to muffle your sounds. You’re lost in the pleasure of what Bucky’s fingers are doing when you hear a sharp intake of breath. It didn’t come from Bucky though. You look up, eyes darting towards the door to find you’ve been caught and he’s not looking away. “Steve…” you whisper burying your face against Bucky’s neck as your cheeks flush.

“Steve is sleeping, doll, don’t worry.”

“No…” you gasp as Bucky curls his fingers, caressing just the right spot. “Ungh….fuck… no… He’s…” You lift your head again, locking eyes with Steve. The fear and embarrassment that you felt at first quickly dissipates and it’s replaced with feeling of delight. The way Steve is staring at you is hot, and the look in his eyes is almost feral.

Bucky tenses and his hand stills, pulling away as he realizes what you’re trying to tell him. He turns his head to see his best friend standing slack-jawed in the doorway. “Steve…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments & feedback are greatly appreciated!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, honestly, this wasn't supposed to happen yet, but the chapter was getting super long and I had to split it (and I felt like torturing you all a little bit more haha). So here is the first (not even) half.

As if the moment suddenly becomes real, Steve’s eyes shift from yours to Bucky’s and the lust turns to panic. Before anymore can be said, he bolts. You close your eyes dreadfully upon hearing the slamming of the bedroom door.

“Steve…,” Bucky murmurs his name again and you grab him by the shirt collar before he can run after the other man.

“Wait,” you tell him as you lower yourself down from the counter, adjusting your clothes as you do so. He looks at you, his eyes gleaming with anxiety as he becomes acutely aware of what just happened. “Bucky,” you say calmly, resting a hand against his chest. His heart is beating wildly. You can only imagine what’s going through his head. “Do you trust me?”

“What?” His brows furrow in confusion. “Of course, I trust you.”

“Then let me handle this,” you say. “And please keep an open mind.”

He hesitates for a moment before relaxing a bit and stepping back to let you go.

You walk down the hallway, stopping in front of Steve’s closed bedroom door. You knock softly. “Steve?” You wait for a moment, hearing nothing but silence. “Steve, sweetie, please open the door so we can talk about this.” You glance over your shoulder, hearing Bucky’s footsteps in the hallway. You give him a hopeful smile and knock on the door again.

“I’m sorry,” Steve stammers as soon as he opens the door. He’s shirtless, but wearing a pair of pants because Steve would never run around the apartment in just his underwear. “I shouldn’t have… I mean I should have just…”

“Steve,” you interrupt, dragging your thoughts away from his state of dress. “Stop.” You smile warmly at his confused and embarrassed expression. “It’s ok,” you reach up, pressing your palm to his heated cheek, forcing him to look at you. When he does, his eyes are pool of mixed emotions. Many of them you recognize, having seen them in your boyfriend’s eyes many times. “You don’t have to apologize for wanting things.”

He blinks, as understanding settles across his brow. His eyes dart to Bucky who remains silent, letting you handle it, just as you’d asked. “But I should,” he says, looking back to you, his blue eyes smoldering. It’s a look you’re definitely not used to seeing on Steve, but it’s one you think you’re going to enjoy.

“Why?”

“Because I want things that I shouldn’t.”

 “Sweetie,” you say calmly even though your heart is pounding. If this backfires, there could be dire consequences, and you don’t want that. All you want is for the people you care about most in your life to be happy. “We all want things we shouldn’t. Don’t we Buck?” You glance back at Bucky he’s fidgeting slightly from foot to foot, but you can tell he’s intrigued, and has maybe even clued in to your intentions.

“Human nature,” Bucky replies as he steps closer to you, sliding his hands around your waist and pressing into your back. He’s still slightly aroused despite the freaked out look he’d given you only a moment earlier. You can feel him against you, and you figure that he just might be on board for your crazy plan. “What do you want, Stevie?”

The question surprises you almost as much as his tone, but you don’t show it. Instead, your eyes meet Steve’s as Bucky presses a kiss to your shoulder. You watch his irises darken as he reaches for your hand that is still resting on his cheek. His fingers wrap around your wrist and he pulls it away from his face. “What are we doing?” He asks, his voice low and somewhat unsteady.

“Anything you want,” you reply as goosebumps prickle your skin.

Steve glances toward Bucky, and you feel him nod his head, giving the permission that Steve needs. Anticipation builds as Steve’s hands cup your face and his eyes lock with yours. He tilts his head slightly, angling just right before closing the space between you. You whimper as Steve’s mouth crashes against yours. His lips feel plump and pouty as they move, slowly; timidly tasting yours. You smile, enjoying the shy caress.

As your kiss grows deeper, you feel some of the tension leaving Steve’s body. His confidence grows as his tongue thrusts into your mouth and his hands move to your neck. Bucky’s hands are moving too. They’re sliding under your dress again, moving to the front of the flimsy, lace panties you’re wearing. Bucky’s hand covers your center causing you to moan against Steve’s mouth. You feel Steve smile, and your heart feels like it might beat right out of your chest.

As Steve’s kisses grow more urgent, Bucky growls, nipping at your bare shoulder. “So sexy,” he murmurs.

You agree. There is something insanely hot about making out with Steve in front of Bucky. There’s something even hotter about Bucky touching you in font of Steve. You begin to toy with the waistband of Steve’s pants, letting the tips of your fingers graze the taut skin of his flat belly as you do.

When your hand touches against his stomach, splaying flatly over the hard muscle, he breaks away from your kiss with a startled breath. Bucky’s fingers become still, and his eyes raise toward Steve. There’s turbulence in Steve’s eyes as he looks at you with a bit of uncertainty.

It’s obvious that he’s conflicted despite the way he kissed you. You want to calm his nerves, but at the same time you need to be cautious not to push too far, too fast. So, you lift your hand cautiously, gently placing your palm against his chest. You can feel his heart racing. “Steve,” you say his name softly, hoping to convey patience and tenderness. “Do you want this?” You ask the question because you need to be certain for everyone’s sake.

He swallows thickly, still staring into your eyes, searching for something to give him reason. Reason to or reason not to; you’re not completely sure what exactly he’s looking for. Then as if he finds his answer, he nods affirmatively and looks towards Bucky.

You can’t help smiling. It’s cute how he always looks to Bucky for confirmation. You trail a finger to Steve’s sternum before dragging it down to his belly, your eyes watching his every reaction as you begin to speak again. “What about you, Bucky? You want this?”

He doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he plants his hips firmly against your rear, pressing you tight. “You tell me, doll. Do I want this?”

You grin. “Down boy,” you tease, feeling him, hard against your ass. “We gotta get Stevie here to relax.”

You feel Bucky’s smirk against your shoulder. “Maybe you should show him how talented that mouth really is.”

Bucky’s suggestion has Steve biting his lower lip as if he’s already imagining that scenario. “You think I should suck him off?”

“MmHmm,” Bucky replies, winking at Steve as he lets go of your waist. “She’s real good, Stevie.”

“Maybe we should go to the bedroom,” you propose as you take Steve’s hand and coax him towards the room you share with Bucky. You don’t have to look back to know that Bucky is following. He closes the door behind him before going to settle on the edge of the bed. He leans back, resting his weight on his elbows as if waiting for a show that’s about to begin.

You kiss Steve again, running your fingers through his short hair as you guide him further into the room. When the backs of his legs bump against the bed, you pull away. His blue eyes are shimmering, and his already lush lips are red, and kiss swollen. “So pretty,” you say, brushing your knuckles along his cheek bone. His eyes close and he nuzzles against your hand. “Steve,” you say his name quietly, but your tone is serious as you look up, waiting for his eyes to open again. When they do, they lock with yours. “Promise me that you’ll stop us if you change your mind.”

“I won’t change my mind,” he insists, his voice cracking just a little as he continues. “I want you. Both of you.”

The last part comes out as nothing more than a whisper, but one glance towards Bucky confirms to you that he heard. His eyes are wide, and his mouth is slightly agape, but he doesn’t seem put off by the idea. You smile as your hand slips around to the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him down for another kiss. You let him take control of the kiss because you need to concentrate on getting him out of his pants so you can finally see what that sexy, dark, happy trail that you’ve noticed so many times actually leads to.

As your tongues explore each other’s mouths, your hands busy themselves with unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning the khaki cargo pants that he’s wearing. Once you have them undone, you begin pushing them down, which proves to be a task in itself. How had you never noticed Steve’s ass? Holy hell, it was a handful. You give it a healthy squeeze and he groans, making you giggle as you shove the pants on down. As they slide to the floor, so do you.

Breaking away from Steve’s lips, you trail kisses over his jaw and down his neck. You kiss a path along his collarbone, making your way down the center of his torso as your nails follow suite; raking through sparse hair as they move over his chiseled chest and down to rest on his hips. Your lips stop just above the waist band of his grey boxer briefs.

Steve’s watching you. At his sides, his fists are clenching and unclenching. You can sense the nervousness radiating off of him again. You know part of that is because it’s been so long since he’s been intimate with anyone, and then part of it is because Bucky is there too and he’s watching. Either way, his nerves aren’t preventing his arousal. There is a prominent tent forming beneath the cotton material.

You glance up with a lifted brow as you settle on your knees in front of him. He actually smirks which makes something inside you stir and you feel yourself contracting excitedly. As much as you love and lust after Bucky, you’ve always found Steve attractive; and more recently, thanks to the whole sunburn incident, you’ve looked at him a bit differently. You’ve wondered about him; about how he feels—how he tastes. Of course, you would have never acted on those desires without Bucky.

As your fingers hook in the elastic of his underwear, you lick your lips in anticipation. You pull the fabric away from his waist and pull down slightly, just enough for a peek at the hidden treasure nestled in a thatch of neatly trimmed, wiry hair. Your mouth goes dry as you take in the sight of his dick. He’s not fully erect yet, but you can tell he’s got a lot going on there. “Jesus…” you whisper to yourself as you drag the material on down his legs. You can’t wait feel him grow under your touch—in your mouth.

“You’re salivating, doll,” Bucky says from his perch on the bed.

You glance over at your boyfriend who’s grinning smugly. “There’s a lot here to salivate over,” you counter before averting your eyes back up to Steve’s face. He’s glowing a particularly radiant shade of red, right now. It was true though, he was blessed.

Running your hands up his thighs, you enjoy the way the coarse hairs tickle your palms and his muscles quiver under your touch. You finally reach to touch him. A barely audible sigh can be heard as your fingers curl around his length. With great care, you skim your hand up and down the shaft; the heat radiates against your skin.

Leaning in, you press your lips to the underside, kissing the spot just above his balls. You then suck softly at the same area, moving from one side to the other before licking a clean line all the way up to the tip where you swirl your tongue around the bulbous head. You grin, looking up at him. His bottom lip is trapped between his teeth and he’s staring at you with stormy blue eyes.

You take that as a sign to continue the slow, sweet torture that’s just barely begun. You take your time licking and kissing every inch of his gorgeous cock. You suck and tease at his balls until he’s moaning softly and timidly tangling his fingers in your hair. You gather droplets of precum on your tongue as they pool on the tip, smearing it down his shaft with your lips. He’s standing at full attention and leaking liberally by the time you guide him into your mouth.

 You draw him in slowly, whimpering as you do, because you’re enjoying every second of this new adventure; and you want him to know that. You use measured, shallow strokes at first, letting your hand be a buffer. But then, when you’re ready, you take him deep. “Yes…” Steve groans, as his fingers tighten fingers in your hair, pulling slightly. He slides easily down your throat until you choke a little bit. He’s not nearly as thick as Bucky but he makes up for it in length, and that’s definitely something. You drool a little as you pull off of him to catch your breath and take him in hand. As you’re stroking Steve’s cock, Bucky joins you.

He’s already naked. You’d been so preoccupied with Steve that you hadn’t noticed him undressing. His thick cock is in his flesh hand when he comes to stand next to you, and you know he wants your mouth on him too. As he steps closer, you reach up to take over stroking him with your free hand.

You feel so naughty as you kneel there with a dick in each hand; both men staring down at you with anticipation written all over their face. “Come on, doll,” Bucky says. “Take care of your boys.”

A whimper escapes your lips as he encourages you. It’s so wrong, but oh, it’s so hot. It excites you in ways that you’ve never dreamed. Your eyes shift to Steve as you feel his hand still in your hair, nudging you towards Bucky. He’s looking down, but his eyes are not on you. A knowing smirk ghost over your lips before you close the space between them and the head of Bucky’s cock.

As your lips close around Bucky, you moan softly. You take him in, letting Steve guide you. Both men groan in response and you tighten your grip on Steve’s length. “Oh…” Bucky closes his eyes as you begin to work him over. Your name rolls off of his tongue like a whispered prayer.

You pull off of him with an exaggerated pop before immediately turning back to Steve’s. The sound he makes as he’s engulfed by the warmth of your mouth is bound to become one of your favorite sounds. A few strokes later, you let your hand take control as your mouth goes to Bucky once again. Their essences, separate yet both enticing, mingle on your tongue and you purr with satisfaction.

“So hot,” Steve mumbles and you hum around Bucky, letting Steve know that you agree. You know for sure that Steve’s comment has less to do with you and more to do with the dick you’re currently stuffing into your mouth. You try to make it more of a show or him by taking time to bathe Bucky’s entire length with your tongue before going back to his.

You continue sucking and jerking them in alternation until they’re both getting close. You pull your mouth out of the equation in favor of using your hands to bring them to the edge. It doesn’t take long before Steve is coming. You watch his face for a moment as it contorts with pleasure and he grunts. It’s a beautiful sight as hot seed begins to spill over your fingers in thick ropes of white. You lean in, catching a few dollops on your tongue before you surround the head with your mouth, swallowing what’s left of his load. “Mmm,” you sigh as your hand slows along his shaft and you lick your lips. “So good, Steve.”

Bucky follows soon after with a loud groan, and you do the same with him, humming with satisfaction as you taste your boyfriend’s familiar flavor landing on your tongue and trickling down your throat. You moan in delight as you swallow around him and his fingers comb through your hair as they so often do as you go down on him, making sure to get every last drop.

A moment later as you stand, you notice that Steve is now sitting on the edge of your bed. His hair is gloriously disheveled, and his cheeks are flushed. You wonder if it’s all from his own orgasm or maybe some from getting to watch you finish Bucky off. Maybe a little of both?

You turn to Bucky who is still standing next to you, pretty much mirroring Steve, flushed, but not quite as disheveled. “That was fun,” you say, a slight smirk on your lips.

“It was,” he agrees, stepping closer and sliding his arms around your waist, gathering the bottom of your dress in his hands as he does. “But you, doll, are severely overdressed.”

“Oh, am I?”

“What’ do you think, Steve? Is she wearing too many clothes?”

“Way too many,” Steve agrees as he stands and strolls over to stand behind you. “I think we need to help her get out of them.”

You shiver, feeling Steve’s breath against the back of your neck as his hands join Bucky’s to slip the dress up over your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbc...  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are life!!!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long... Also... It's probably a bit much, but enjoy the filth. :)

There are many words that come to your mind when thinking about how to describe the way you feel standing between two completely naked men wearing only your underwear. One of them is exhilarated. Another is enflamed. Your whole body feels like it’s catching fire as the heat from both their bodies envelopes you like a blanket. Bucky is leaning into your front while Steve is pressing against your back. It’s almost too much to grasp.

You stare into Bucky’s blue eyes that have darkened from their usual powder blue to a smoldering sapphire. You can almost feel the smirk as it curves on his lips. His hands are on your hips and Steve’s are on your shoulders. One of Steve’s move to pull your hair around to one side while his lips brush against the back of your neck. You sigh, feeling the tickle of his breath as he plants a series of tiny, wet kisses over your neck and shoulder.

“You took such good care of us, darlin’,” Bucky says, as his fingers toy with the thin waistband of your panties. “Didn’t she, Steve?”

“Such good care,” Steve agrees as his fingers glide over your back, blindly searching for the hook on your bra and popping the clasp apart when he finds it. His mouth latches back onto your neck as the strapless lingerie falls to the floor between you and Bucky.

“How do you think we should repay her kindness?”

Steve doesn’t answer. He simply slides his hands around to your front, cupping both breast in his hands. You moan softly as he takes you slightly by surprise; his touch firm, yet so gentle. Bucky only grins before leaning in to kiss you. His metal hand moves to the back of your head, holding you still as his mouth slants over yours. There’s a sense of urgency in Bucky’s kiss, and his tongue pushes past your lips without hesitance. You feel a low growl against your lips, and you bring your hands up to tangle in his hair.

While you and Bucky kiss, Steve’s mouth begins to move over your shoulders once again until he reaches your spine. As he begins trailing kisses down your back, his hands move as well. They follow his lips, tracing every inch of your back until he’s on his knees kneeling behind you, hands cupping your rounded ass.

Bucky begins following Steve’s lead, doing the same thing to your front as he finally leaves your swollen lips. He licks and kisses his way down over your collarbone letting his hands caress your breast. As he moves lower, he stops to suck softly on your nipples, teasing them into stiff peaks, making you moan in delight. You enjoy how much his beard tickles your skin as he shifts from side to side paying equal attention to each nipple. He hums, feeling your nails scrape over his scalp as you run your fingers through his dark locks.

It feels wonderful and exciting to have both men touching you. Instinctively, you arch your back, curving just right so that your breast extends toward Bucky and your ass towards Steve. Steve groans, his cheek resting against your ass as his fingers hook in the elastic band of your panties. He drags them down your legs, fingertips lightly brushing your skin as they go. Once you’re out of them, Steve’s hands travel back up your legs, resting on the backs of your thighs, just below the delicate curve of your ass. He urges you to spread your legs a bit, so you do.

As Bucky continues the slow torture on your breast, Steve’s mouth attaches itself to your backside. He sucks kisses across your supple cheeks and bites gently at the tender flesh while cupping a cheek in each hand to separate them just enough to give him a peek at everything he’s been denied. You yelp in delight when his tongue slides slickly across your wet heat. You feel Bucky grin against your breast before he begins moving further down.

“Oh, God,” you whimper as Steve’s tongue moves over you again, this time delving deep into your folds. “Steve…” He doesn’t stay there much longer though. He begins making his way back up your body, dragging his lips and tongue along your spine. He sucks on your neck, nipping playfully as his hands slide along your sides. He leans into you, allowing his cock to press against your ass drawing a surprised gasp from your lips. He’s already getting hard again and you feel yourself clenching at the idea of maybe having his long, hard dick inside of you.

Bucky is continuing to slink lower, moving his mouth further down over your stomach until he’s hovering just above your center. However, instead of leaning in, he turns his head and begins to kiss your thigh. As he’s doing so, he gently lifts your leg, encouraging you place your foot on the edge of the bed so you’re more exposed. You feel his breath first; a cool burst of air against your wet folds. You whimper Bucky’s name as Steve’s tongue slides along the leader in your neck.

“You taste amazing, babygirl.” Steve’s voice is low and sultry in your ear. It sends a shiver right to your core. “So warm. So sweet…”

Bucky pulls away momentarily, leaning back on his haunches. “Steve, shut up and get back down here.”

You smile feeling Steve’s chuckle as much as hearing it before he speaks. “He’s so bossy.”

“Mmm, always,” you agree. “But I think you should listen.”

“My pleasure,” he whispers, nipping your earlobe one last time before dropping back to his knees. By the time he gets there, Bucky has already moved back in, finding your clit with skilled tongue.

Your hands move to their heads, one twisting fingers in brown hair, the other in blonde. You’re in a state of bliss as Bucky lavishes attention on your clit while Steve laps hungrily at your entrance. You can hear Bucky’s ravenous growls and Steve’s eager grunts as together they devour you. The sounds resonate against your skin making you tremble with need. As Bucky’s lips close around you, and Steve’s tongue pushes deep, you feel an orgasm building low in your belly. “Oh yes…that’s so good,” you whimper, fighting the urge to just scream “fuck, fuck, fuck,” over and over as they bring you closer to the edge.

Several incredibly satisfying moments later, you use Bucky’s shoulders to brace yourself when you reach your peak. Your fingers dig into his flesh as you cry out, and your legs suddenly feel weak. Their hands keep you steady, as they continue to lap languidly at your sex, drinking up every drop of nectar until your orgasm subsides. As you steady yourself on both feet once again, Steve wraps his arms around your waist and presses his face into the small of your back where he plants a soft kiss before standing up. You let go of a shuddering sigh, looking down at Bucky gazing back up at you. “You’re so pretty when you come,” he whispers as he too stands.

You whimper as his mouth covers yours. His kiss is soft and tender, just like Bucky always is after he’s given you such intense pleasure. He’s always trying to take care of you; to make sure you’re ok. It’s one of the things you love most about him. He’s gentle and warm. You then realize that Steve isn’t much different in that respect. He’s also still standing close to you, holding you; nuzzling your neck.

When Bucky’s lips break away from yours, he tangles his fingers in the hair directly behind your ears as he holds your face delicately in his hands and presses his forehead to yours. Your eyes burn into each other’s and your feel every ounce of emotion that he’s trying to convey. You kiss him this time, tilting your head just enough to claim his lips with your own in a soft kiss that eventually makes its way along his bearded cheek to his ear. “I love you,” you whisper so that only he can hear you. “Unconditionally. Always. No matter what.”

You step away from the two men, heading towards the queen size bed that you share with Bucky. As you lie back on the bed, both men observe you with lust filled eyes. You take a second to drink in both their appearances as they stand side by side in all their naked glory. They are beautiful creatures, each in their own gorgeous perfection. One blonde, one brunette. They compliment each other so nicely.

While both are tall and well-built; strong and muscular—Steve is thinner, solid, and proportioned like some sort of Greek God. Way too sexy to be in the profession he’s currently in. At least that’s your opinion. You’d thought the same about Bucky. Now, Bucky… Bucky, on the other hand? He is thick. Thick and sturdy, but also more pliant. Soft in all the right places, but yet hard enough to break things. Oh God, how you love every single inch of that beautiful body.

Your shaken out of your appreciative trance when you notice that the two men are no longer looking at you, but are instead, staring at each other. Gradually, you realize what’s happening. Your heart begins to race, and you bite your lip in anticipation. It’s almost like it happens in slow motion as they inch towards each other. Their eyes close the moment their lips meet, and you sigh in admiration at the same time they both groan with satisfaction. They part after only a second, but Bucky’s hand reaches for the back of Steve’s neck, dragging him back for more.

“Fuck,” you whisper as you watch them kiss. It’s like watching your wildest fantasy come true, although, you didn’t know you had that exact fantasy. Bucky’s other arm slips around Steve, hauling him closer as Steve’s hands grab gingerly at Bucky’s waist. Bucky kisses him tenderly, taking his time, savoring, tasting with each touch of their lips and soon with each delicate stroke of tongue. This time when they part, Bucky grins and Steve’s cheeks flush.

“Don’t be shy now, Steve.”

“Not shy,” Steve assures. “Just surprised.”

Bucky smirks. “Pleasantly,” I hope.

“Pleasantly,” Steve admits with a blissful smile, but then he glances toward you as if suddenly remembering that you are there. A brief look of panic flashes in his eyes, but you grin and wink letting him know that you’re ok with what just happened. “Should I leave?” You ask, teasingly as you rest your weight on your elbows.

“We’re not done with you,” Steve says, surprising you with not only his words, but also the look that he’s giving you. It’s one that you never expected to see on Steve’s face. At least not being directed at you. You feel your body react immediately and you look to Bucky wondering if you should even feel the slightest bit guilty about wanting his best friend the way you suddenly do?

Bucky reads you like he always does and smirks. “I think she’s ready for some more, Steve.”

They crawl onto the bed as if they’d rehearsed it; Steve on your right and Bucky on your left. They start at your ankles. placing tiny, teasing kisses against your smooth skin as they move up your legs. The sheer contrast of Steve’s smooth face against your skin versus Bucky’s beard scraping softly is making you wiggle and moan as they map their way over your body. Occasionally, you’ll feel the soft flick of tongue or the gentle scrape of teeth as they move. They continue up your body until they reach your breast, each taking an excited nipple into their mouth. Bucky’s sweeps his tongue over the taut nipple he has pulled into his mouth while Steve swirls his around the other. The simple divergence in their actions alone nearly drives you mad.

Bucky shifts, sliding his metal hand along your inner thigh, his movement is light and tantalizing. You moan softly, feeling desperate for his touch. Eventually, his middle finger brushes over your clit at the same time Steve bites down on the nipple he’s been teasing. “Yes…” you cry out as your body arches, trying to prolong both sensations. “Please! Bucky,” you beg as he rubs slow circles around the swollen nub. “Please, I need…”

“What do you need, doll?” He asks teasingly as he lets your nipple fall from his lips.

You look at Steve who lifts his head, also letting his fingers skim over your inner thigh. “Come on, Sweetheart,” he coaxes as his fingertips graze over your outer folds, barely touching you. “Tell Buck what you need.”

Another whine slips from your lips as Steve’s mouth goes back to your breast and Bucky presses down against the already sensitive bundle of nerves. “I… your fingers, Bucky,” you pant. “I want them inside me.” You groan in relief and delight as his middle finger sinks inside.

Steve’s mouth goes slack as he notices what Bucky’s doing. He stares intently as Bucky’s finger moves back and forth inside you and your hips rock to meet each thrust. You whimper softly when he adds his ring finger, pushing them deep; carefully twisting and stretching you with the metal, warmed only by the heat of your body.

“She’s so ready for us,” Bucky says, drawing a disappointed groan from your lips when he finally pulls his fingers away. They’re glistening under the fluorescent lights. Bucky grins and brings them to Steve’s lips. “Taste?”

Steve doesn’t hesitate. He grabs Bucky by the wrist and opens his mouth around both fingers taking them all the way inside before sliding them back out with a satisfied hum as he twirls his tongue around and between them.

Bucky nearly chokes and his cock reacts against your hip as Steve continues to suck on the metal fingers one at a time until they’re completely clean. “Christ,” Bucky whispers and Steve sends him a heated glare as he slowly drags his lips up the middle finger once more, letting go with a satisfied pop.

You can feel the tension between the two men and you really want to say something, but you don’t. You don’t have time, really, because before you can even think of what to say, Steve is kissing you. His mouth is hot against yours, and you taste a hint of yourself on his tongue as it wrestles with your own. You feel his length against your thigh, and you grin against his lips, because he’s a proving to be quite the little deviant.

He breaks away, panting softly as his blue eyes flutter shut. “You said anything I want, right?”

“Anything you want,” you agree.

“Buck?”

“Anything, Steve.”

He kisses your lips again, this time pulling away after only a moment. “Right now, I want you babygirl,” he says, before leaning closer to whisper in your ear. “I wanna be buried I that sweet little pussy.”

You moan in surprise and delight at his suggestion. “How do you want me?”

He raises up, never taking his eyes off of you. “On your knees.”

You oblige moving to get on your hands and knees, smiling at Bucky who is smirking because he knows this is one of your favorite positions. You wiggle your ass, looking back over your shoulder at Steve as he positions himself behind you. “Like this?”

“Yeah, babygirl,” he says as he skims his fingertips gently over your ass. “Just like that. So beautiful…so wet.”

“Gonna give it to her good, Stevie?” Bucky asks.

“So good,” Steve, assures as he lines up to enter you. “You ready for me, sweetheart?”

“Mmmm,” you hum feeling the tip of Steve’s erection teasing at your entrance. He presses slowly, letting just the head slip inside. “Yes, baby… Fill me with that big cock…”

Steve pushes further into you; groaning as the heat of your body envelopes him. “Oooh…yes…, Bucky, she’s so tight…” His fingers dig into your hips as his cock slides deeper and you suppress the urge to press back and just take him all the way in.

“Patience, doll,” Bucky commands as he comes to sit on his knees in front of you. You feel his fingers twist in your hair, tilting your head back just a bit to look at him. “Let him enjoy this,” he says, a grin on his face that tells you he’s liking this as much as you are. “He’ll make it so good for you, darlin’. Won’t you Steve?”

Slowly Steve pulls all the way out, resting the tip of his cock against the slight gape. “Now might be the time to make that sailor blush,” he says, reminding you of the conversation you’d had earlier that morning in the kitchen. You start to laugh but it turns into a strangled moan as he thrusts back inside.

Steve begins to find a pace; slow and shallow, sinking a little further with each stroke. A tiny sound passes through your lips as he touches that secret place deep within you. “Steve…” you utter his name as a wave of pleasure pulses through your body. “Yes… feels so good.”

Bucky’s fingers tighten in your hair and he takes his own length in his hand, guiding it to your mouth. Gently he taps the head against your bottom lip, smearing a droplet of precum which you readily stick your tongue out to grab. Your eyes move to his and wordlessly, he commands you. Without hesitation, you brace yourself on one arm as your other hand reaches up to circle his erection which has yet to reach its full mass. He moans softly, letting his eyes flutter shut as your tongue rolls around the bulbous head. You shower his entire member with wet, sloppy kisses; and your tongue licks and swirls over every inch as you enjoy the soft noises he’s making above you.

Then, you let go of him, dropping your hand to rest on his thigh, as your mouth opens willingly, letting him ease inside. His movements are gentle, and his reach is shallow. You hum in delight as he matches Steve’s rhythm. “That’s it, doll…” he praises. “God your mouth feels so good.”

You feel Bucky leaning forward, still holding to your hair. At the same time, Steve slows his thrusts, and his fingers that have been digging into your hips become lax. It takes you a moment to realize what’s going on, but soon the gentle smacking of lips and the soft, hunger-filled groans coming from both men confirms their actions.

A glance to the mirror on your vanity gives you the perfect view of Bucky’s hand fisted in Steve’s short locks while the metal one is still twisted in yours. Steve’s hands are both still planted firmly on your hips, holding you as he thrusts slowly, but his mouth is fused with Bucky’s. It’s hot. It’s dirty. And it’s turning you on more than you could have imagined. Their lips and tongues fight for dominance as they kiss. Steve whimpers softly and Bucky growls, obviously very into kissing him. And how could you blame him? Steve has such a kissable mouth.

The slow pace continues; Steve rocks into you, keeping a steady rhythm as you lavish attention on Bucky’s shaft. They continue to kiss for a while longer, but the need for more is building for both you and Steve. As they part, Steve’s fingers curl into your hips again, getting a firmer grip as he increases his speed. “Yes…” he sighs your name, telling you how amazing you feel around him. “You feel incredible.”

“Doesn’t she?” Bucky asks. “I love getting her in this position.” You whine as he continues telling Steve about how deep he gets and how he loves to watch your ass bounce when he’s slamming into you. You hear Steve growl at that statement, and he gives you left cheek a hefty squeeze. You feel Steve beginning to move faster and harder and your hands that are resting on Bucky’s thighs, hold on tightly to brace yourself against his thrusts.

“Oh…Oh, God, Steve!” You howl as he pounds into you. His hands still hold to your hips tightly, pulling you back to meet each thrust.  By now, you’ve given up on trying to keep focus on Bucky’s cock. Steve fucking you like a stallion is the only thing that you could even think about right now.

Bucky doesn’t seem to mind though. You shudder at the look in his eyes. He’s so turned on by the sight of you getting fucked by his best friend. “Bucky…” you pant, just needing to say his name deep in the throes of ecstasy.

“Tell me how he feels, doll,” Bucky demands. “What does that long, hard dick feel like?”

“So good…” you whimper, your hands still resting on Bucky’s spread thighs. “He’s so deep, baby…” You begin to feel a familiar churning in the pit of your stomach, a burning that reaches your very core. Your climax is coming hard and it’s coming fast. Steve is hitting just the right spot every time he slams into you. It’s nearly too much. Your legs start to shake, and suddenly its right there. You shriek in startled delight and your walls grip Steve’s cock, clenching and unclenching around him as an overwhelming orgasm rips though you. “Oh fuck!” You cry, letting your fingers dig into the thick flesh of Bucky’s thighs. “Fuck….”

As your body relaxes, Steve carefully slips out of your still quivering pussy and Bucky gathers you into his arms as he lays back against the pillows. Still shaking and sitting astride Bucky’s lap, you gasp for air and press your forehead against his as he tenderly brushes away the strands of hair that are sticking to your sweaty face. “Hey…” He soothes. “You good?”

You laugh giddily. “Yeah.” You rock your hips, rubbing your dripping pussy over Bucky’s length. “I’m ready for you now, big boy.”

The smile on Bucky’s face is blinding. “Yeah? You gonna show Stevie how well you can ride?”

You only grin in return as you reach down to take Bucky in hand. You guide him inside, whining at the slight burn you feel as you open to accommodate him.

“Oh, doll…You’re still so tight,” Bucky praises as you begin to move after a moment of letting your own body adjust.

You lean forward, pressing your chest to his chest as you whisper in his ear. “It’s because you’re so fucking thick, Barnes.” You roll your hips, making him grunt weakly.

You feel Steve move to straddle Bucky’s thigh’s directly behind you. He places his hands on your bottom. As Steve nuzzles your neck, you grin down at Bucky, letting Steve’s hands guide you; up and down, back and forth. His lips suck kisses on your shoulders; on your neck. He whispers hotly in your ear; words that a man like him shouldn’t be whispering. Bucky’s hands are teasing at your breast, cupping them, squeezing them; pinching at your taut nipples. You arch your back against Steve’s chest, reaching back to loop one arm around his neck as you turn your head to kiss him.

He kisses you hungrily while moving one hand from your hip, over your stomach and down to your engorged clit. You whimper against his mouth as he plays there for a moment, teasing the sensitive nub while you move deliberately on Bucky’s cock. “That’s it,” Steve murmurs against your lips as your whole body rolls with the movement of your hips. “Ride that thick cock nice and slow…”

Steve’s voice is low and you whimper hearing his words, but you aren’t the only one. Bucky whimpered too. He’s as turned on by Steve’s dissent as you are. “Oh, sweet babygirl,” Steve’s voice is near your ear again and you can feel his hardness pressing against your ass as he’s now rocking his hips with yours. “I wanna be inside you too.” His mouth latches onto your neck, sucking softly at your pulse point before nibbling a path back up to your ear. “Is that ok? Can I get inside you too?”

You moan loudly, clamping down on Bucky as the idea fills your head. “Yes…yes, Steve…Want you inside me too… Please…”

Bucky’s already reaching to the nightstand where there is a bottle of lube sitting. You hear Steve laugh as he obviously recognizes the strawberry flavored lube that Bucky hands to him. “Am I to assume this isn’t your first time?” He asks as he flips it open.

“What can I say? Apparently, Bucky likes a nice, tight ass now and then,” you say with a wink at Bucky.

Steve’s breath stutters slightly as his lube covered finger finds your tight pucker. He rubs over the tiny, rigid hole, making you sigh in delight. He prepares you slowly, taking his time to work three fingers inside while you continue to move unhurriedly over Bucky. Both of them whisper words of appreciation and encouragement to you. You feel like you might overheat from all the attention.

“Ready, babygirl?” he asks, as his fingers pull away.

“Yes. Please, Steve. I want to feel both of you.”

Steve isn’t impatient, but he isn’t wasting any time either. You feel him against you and he’s putting a hand on your hip to still your movements; to anchor you as he enters.

“Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh God…” You whimper, digging your nails into Bucky’s chest as you feel the head of Steve’s cock easing past the rigid ring of muscle until he’s inside you too. It’s tight. You feel the burn of being stretched, but Steve is careful and the bit of uncomfortable you feel begins to dissipate as he works his way inside.

Bucky’s hand on the back of your neck guides your eyes to his. “Hey,” he encourages, knowing that you’re even more tense now than you had been the first time you’d let him try anal. “Relax, baby…”

You take a steady breath willing your body to relax as Steve penetrates using slow, gentle thrusts.  You reach back with one hand to grab onto Steve’s thigh and he loosens the grip his right hand has on your hip to rub a soothing caress up your side. “Shh, sweetheart,” he says. “We’re almost there.”

“Bucky,” you whisper, trying to focus on your boyfriend’s face. You already felt so full with Bucky inside you, but now that Steve is also there, it’s becoming too overwhelming.

“Right here, doll. Look at me.” When you do, he cups you face in his hands and kisses you. You cling to him, letting his kiss pull you from your thoughts. After several long moments, you feel Steve’s hands moving over your back in a comforting motion.  

“God, you feel so good,” he murmurs against your shoulder as you break away from Bucky’s mouth. “So tight and hot. Buck?”

“Yeah, Stevie. Feels amazing. Both of you.” Bucky agrees, letting his arms slip around your waist. “You ok, darlin’?”

“Move,” you plead. Your body is trembling, unable to handle how still they are. “Please, I need…”

Bucky moves first, thrusting his hips up, pushing deeper. Steve hisses, following Bucky’s lead as he takes hold of your hips once more. “Oh…” you whimper because it feels like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. “Yes… Oh God, I feel so full!” You keen, delighted by how it feels like too much and yet somehow not nearly enough. The three of you begin moving together; creating a perfect cadence as your bodies bend and sway.

“You like it, doll?” Bucky asks, looking into your eyes as one of his hands moves to fist in your hair. “Like having two big cocks inside you?”

“Yes,” you cry out. “Yes… It feels so good, baby.”

“Mmm,” he growls. “It’s so fuckin’ hot. Stevie, I can feel you moving inside her.”

You hear a low whimper from Steve as his fingers tighten around your hips. “I can feel you too, Buck.”

“Oh, fuck yes!” You cry out as Steve strays from the tempo the three of you had set. “Fuck my ass, Steve. Yes…” Your heedless moaning drowns out the sounds of Bucky and Steve’s own. The pure decadence of having two men pumping into you at the same time is fueling your passion. You feel the pressure bubbling up inside you, so you grind down in unison with their upward thrusts, needing to reach the pinnacle of pleasure; to feel the glorious rush of release again. “Please…” you beg. “Bucky… I’m gonna…”

You don’t even get the full sentence out before his hand has snaked between the two of you and his fingers are circling your engorged bundle of nerves. “Come on, doll. Come for us…”

Your body begins shaking and you whimper helplessly as wave after wave of pure pleasure ripples through your body. The intensity of it is too much and you have to pull away from both of them, letting your walls continue to clench around nothing as your orgasm subsides.

“Shh….” Bucky soothes, holding you to his chest and stroking your hair as your body trembles. “I got you, darlin’.”

“Oh, my God…” you pant with a smile, feeling giddy as the aftershocks of a powerful release steadily begin to lessen.

You lay there for a moment, just breathing and reveling in the feel of Bucky’s hands as they pet your hair and Steve’s as they gently caress your back. But then Steve’s hands disappear and a moment later, you hear Bucky’s sharp intake of breath followed by more relaxed but still surprised, “Oh fuck, Stevie…”

You raise up a bit to look behind you and you smirk, seeing Steve bent over with his head steadily bobbing up and down. You turn back to Bucky who is biting his lips and breathing heavy. His eyes are wide and filled with wonderment. You give him a smile and a wink as you carefully climb off of him, deciding to lie back and enjoy the view.

Bucky’s fingers immediately find their way to Steve’s short hair. He tugs at the short blonde strands as he whispers his best friends name.

You watch as Steve’s slides his mouth lewdly down Bucky’s thick shaft, taking him deep before dragging his plump lips back up to suck on the head. His eyes shift upward to meet Bucky’s.  Bucky groans softly and moves his hands to Steve’s shoulders, gripping and trying to pull him forward.

Steve gets the hint, letting go of Bucky’s cock before he lets Bucky pull him up to lay top of him. As their lips meet, so do their erections. They both moan scandalously, and Bucky spreads his legs wider to let Steve settle between them.

You watch in awe as they touch and kiss and rut against each other until they’re both moaning. Steve’s hips rock purposefully against Bucky and Bucky wraps his legs around Steve. Soon Bucky is throwing his head back and growling as he comes. Steve follows right behind, collapsing on top of Bucky’s broad chest. “Oh, shit,” you hear him whimper as he buries his face against Bucky’s neck.

It takes you a moment to steady your breathing, but once you do, you get up, leaving them alone for a moment while you walk to the bathroom. You catch your reflection in the mirror as you reach for a washcloth. It makes you laugh because you look completely debauched. Used and thoroughly satisfied. It’s a look you think you might like.

You take a minute to clean yourself up before getting a couple of extra washcloths to take back to the two men still lying in your bed. At least you hope they’re still lying in your bed. That last act happened so quickly and so unexpectedly that you’re unsure of how it will go over once the euphoric fog settles.

When you return to the room, you find them still on the bed, although Steve has rolled off of Bucky and is lying on his back with his arm thrown over his eyes while Bucky lies there staring at him; a look of confusion and worry written on his face. You sigh heavily and join them. “Hey,” you say softly as you bump the back of your hand against Steve’s thigh. “You ok?”

Steve lifts his arm to look at you. “Yeah,” he says, noticing Bucky also staring intently at him, awaiting an answer. “I’m good,” he says with a small smile, trying to sound convincing. “I’m just… I need a minute.”

“I brought a washcloth. Figured you’d need cleaned up a bit.”

“Thanks,” he says, reaching for it, but you shoo his hand away.

“I got you,” you say with a smile before turning to Bucky. “I got you both.”

Gently, you clean them up, ridding their bodies of lube, spilled semen and of your own slick. You toss the washcloths towards the hamper in the corner before setting down in the bed between the two. They both turn into you, wrapping their arms around you and snuggling close. Sleep comes quickly to them, but you lie awake for a long time, your mind racing.

When morning comes, you awake to light kisses on you shoulder. You turn to find Bucky, wide awake and staring at you. “Good morning,” you whisper.

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Good morning.”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he replies. “Are you?”

You nod. “Yea, babe. I’m good.”

“Are we?” He asks, and you can tell he’s a little bit scared by the idea that last night could have messed things up.

“Baby,” you reassure him. “We’re ok.”

He sighs, snuggling into you. “Good. I’m glad.”

A few minutes later, Steve also awakes. He doesn’t say anything to either of you. He just sighs. So, you take a deep breath and begin to untangle your limbs and pull yourself to your knees in the middle of the bed. “I’m going to go take a shower, and head off to work,” you say as you lean down to kiss Bucky who is lazily watching you.

“Want us to join?” He asks with a hint of mischief in his eyes. You smile against his lips. “As much as I love that idea, I think you two need some alone time.” Your eyes meet his as your fingers graze lightly against his bearded cheek. “Take your time,” you whisper. “Do whatever you need to do. I love you.”

You then turn to Steve who is lying there, staring at the ceiling, a look of bliss still etched on his beautiful face, but there is also something else in his eyes. You smile, leaning over him. “Stevie…” you tease, caressing his cheek as he smiles back. You bend down and claim his lips in a soft kiss that lasts only a short moment. “This was fun. Thank you,” you whisper with a wink. His blue eyes sparkle with his own gratitude and you smile, knowing that this night probably meant so much more to him than you can even imagine.

Moments later after you’ve left them, Steve finally works up the courage to speak. “Buck,” he says, still not moving his eyes from the ceiling. “I need to tell you something.”

Bucky turns over to his side so he can face Steve. He smiles when he sees the way Steve is still staring into space. It’s obvious to Bucky that his mind is racing right now, so he reaches out to place a comforting hand on Steve’s arm. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Steve.” Bucky’s tone is soft and warm as he speaks. “I already know. Last night just confirmed it for me. I’ve known for a while.”

“You have?” Steve’s head turns toward Bucky so fast it makes Bucky chuckle in amusement but the wide-eyed look that Steve is giving him stops him from actually laughing.

“MmmHmm,” Bucky hums. “I mean it’s the only thing that make sense.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because I know you. I figured you’d tell me in your own time. When you were ready. I wasn’t really expecting it to happen quite this way, but I’m ok that it did.”

“I was terrified that you would hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Steve. Especially not for something like this.” Bucky sighs, seeing the doubt in his best friend’s eyes. “You do know I love you, right?”

Steve nods. “But…, it’s not the same, Buck.”

Bucky furrows his brow. “How so?”

“I…” Steve hesitates, taking a moment to really think about his words and whether or not he really wants to say them. “I don’t just love you like a friend or brother.”

Bucky doesn’t react. He simply watches Steve for a moment. He can see he’s holding his breath right now. He’s worried about how Bucky will react. Bucky can’t quite figure out why Steve would have ever had the notion that he wouldn’t be ok with that though. “Well then,” Bucky begins, licking his suddenly dry lips. “It’s very much the same, Steve.”

“What?” Steve gives him a look that’s a mix between shock and panic. The disbelief is alarming.

Bucky swallows, trying to find the right words. He honestly never expected to be having this conversation, so he wasn’t exactly prepared. “I love you, Steve. Not as a brother. Not as a friend. I love you like you’re a part of my soul that I can’t live without.” He pauses, seeing the question in Steve’s blue eyes. “I have loved you since we were kids.”

“But why didn’t you…”

Bucky shrugs, moving his hand on down Steve’s arm to lace their fingers together. “Because back then I didn’t think you felt the same way. Then when we were older, I thought maybe you did; but then you started getting more involved with church. So, I just thought I’d never have a chance.”

Steve has a few stray tears spilling over his cheeks by now. He’s staring at Bucky, unable to believe what he’s hearing. “Um… what about… I mean, you had girlfriends. You _have_ a girlfriend.”

Bucky smiles half-heartedly. “I did, but if you’ll remember, you got a girlfriend long before I did.”

Steve thinks about it for a moment. It was true. He had started dating before Bucky did. Granted it was only to distract himself from his feelings for Bucky. He’d never considered what Bucky might be feeling at the time. He was too caught up in his own mind; in his own fears. He lifts a brow, and a grin teases the corner of his mouth. “Were you jealous?”

“Hell yeah, I was jealous,” Bucky says with a snort. “She was taking you away from me.”

“So, is that why you dated all those horrible girls?”

“I dated them because they were nothing like you,” Bucky admits. “And I knew it was pushing us farther away from each other; along with your church stuff, of course. It just seemed easier to let it.”

Steve begins to rub his thumb over the back of Bucky’s hand as their fingers remain entwined. “Did they ever mean anything?”

Bucky shakes his head. “No. Not even Syd. I wasn’t really in love with her, and I realized that after my accident. The little bit of feelings that I did have for her were diminished by her actions. None of them ever cared about me the way you did.”

“What about now?”

Bucky looks up at Steve, meeting his blue eyes with his own. “Honestly, Steve, she’s the best thing to happen to me since you.”

Steve smiles through the wall of tears that are still clouding his vision. “Well, I agree, she is amazing; but that’s not what I asked.”

“Yes. I love her,” Bucky says it without hesitation because doesn’t want there to be any misconceptions about his feelings for you. “More than I ever thought possible, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still love you too.”

Steve blinks and then looks away for a moment to collect his thoughts “I kinda wish we would have had this conversation years ago.”

“Would it have actually changed anything?” Bucky asks, sincerely.

Honestly, Steve doesn’t know. Back then, he was so afraid of his feelings and what he’d been raised to believe that he’d done everything he could to ignore his feelings. He was pretty certain that if he and Bucky would have had this conversation back then, it wouldn’t have mattered. Not in a positive way at least. “Bucky… About my…” Steve’s face becomes a mask of uncertainty and fear as he searches for the words.

“I know,” Bucky interrupts as he sits up to rest on his elbow. He lets go of Steve’s hand in favor of cupping his cheek. “I know all this is freaking you out right now.” He smiles, recognizing the look in Steve’s eyes. “Despite your feelings and despite what happened last night, you _are_ committed to your life as a priest. I get it, and I would never ask you to abandon that.” Bucky’s fingers slide lovingly along Steve’s cheekbone as he tries to ease Steve’s mind. “You’re going to go back to New York as planned. You’ll seek forgiveness and you’ll be absolved of everything that’s happened since last night. You’ll be fine,” he continues before looking directly into his eyes and emphasizing, “And _we’ll_ be fine.”

Steve swallows the lump in his throat; a look of relief washes over his features and he nods, letting Bucky know that he understands. “We have to be ok. I can’t not have you in my life, Bucky.”

Bucky smiles again as he leans in. His breath ghosts across Steve’s lips as he whispers, “ditto,” and closes the space between them. Their kiss is slow and tender, lips barely brushing one another’s at first. That’s all that Bucky intends for it to be; but Steve threads his fingers though Bucky’s hair, tugging gently at the silken strands as he whimpers. Timidly, Bucky sweeps his tongue across Steve’s bottom lip, seeking permission. He moans contentedly when Steve readily opens his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments & Feedback are appreciated!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lil' Stucky anyone?

You pause by the bedroom door as you head to the linen closet for another towel. A smile tugs at your lips when you see the two men lying in bed, kissing slowly. It’s a beautiful and yet bittersweet sight, one that you really don’t want to walk away from; but they need this private time, and you’re more than willing to give it to them. They need to work through years of pining after one another and being too scared to say anything.

Though Bucky had never admitted it, you could see it in his eyes every time he looked at Steve. There was a particular fondness in which he was never able to hide very well. At least not from you. Then there was sadness. A sorrow masked only by false bravery whenever someone mentioned Steve going back to New York. Bucky loved Steve. It was undeniable. In fact, there was so much love and affection between the two of them, you knew if it kept on being ignored, it probably wouldn’t end well someday.

Your only hope was that they could be honest with each other the way that Steve had been honest with you. They deserve to know how the other feel, no matter what. And from the looks of things, you think that maybe they finally do. Biting your lip, you force yourself to turn away just as Steve rolls over, pushing Bucky to his back.

Both men look toward the door when they hear it latch. “Is she really ok with this?” Steve asks, feeling unsure again.

Bucky reaches up to turn Steve’s face back to him. “She’s giving us some time and privacy.” He looks up into Steve’s blue eyes, they’re fearful which fills Bucky with worry. Chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip, he considers what to say to the man now hovering above him. “If you don’t feel comfortable…” He begins, but he’s quickly silenced by Steve’s lips returning to his rather adamantly. Bucky grins into the kiss and it’s his turn to feather fingers through silky strands of soft hair.

The kisses they share become fervent; full of passion and enthusiasm. Bucky gasps weakly as Steve eagerly thrusts his tongue into his mouth, wanting to taste every nook and cranny while he can. Bucky tastes sweet just like Steve’s always imagined, and he just can’t get enough.

His hands begin to roam, sliding down over Bucky’s chest, leaving a burning trail wherever he touches. Bucky gasps when Steve’s fingers wrap gingerly around his cock. “Oh… Um… Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?” Steve asks, as his lips trail kisses over Bucky’s jaw and his hand strokes his length so deliberately.  

Ignoring the alarms going off in his head, Bucky sighs, “N-nothing. Nevermind.” His dick is responding in favor and maybe he’s overthinking things anyway. With a soft groan, he gives in to the pleasure of Steve’s hand jerking his cock just right.

A relieved smile stretches across Steve’s lips as he continues to plant warm kisses down his best friend’s neck. He’s wanted this for so long, but never even entertained the idea that it could actually happen someday. Now that it is, he finds himself wanting everything no matter the consequences; no matter the guilt he may end up feeling later. When his lips reach the base of Bucky’s throat, he sucks gently, feeling his pulse thumping rapidly against his tongue.

Bucky whimpers as Steve slides his tongue back up his neck all the way to his earlobe which he nips playfully. Steve’s hand is still wrapped firmly around his cock, pumping slowly, spreading droplets of precum as it dribbles down the shaft. “Oh, Stevie…” Bucky sighs. “Feels so good…”

“Make love to me, Buck,” Steve suddenly murmurs against Bucky’s ear, only realizing what he said when he feels the man beneath him become tense. He closes his eyes and swallows thickly, waiting for the aftermath of such a request.

“Steve, I…” Bucky isn’t quite sure how to articulate a response as he tries to get his brain to catch up. He wants that. He really does. He honestly didn’t know just how much he wanted it until the plea rolled off of Steve’s tongue. Before he can say another word though, he feels Steve’s grip on his length loosen until finally, he lets go. Bucky’s eyes grow wide as Steve rolls to his back and stares at the ceiling once again. “Fuck,” Bucky huffs quietly before turning back over to face Steve.

What he sees nearly breaks him. There’s a shimmer of tears in Steve’s eyes, even though he won’t look directly at Bucky; the brunette can see it clearly. “Steve,” Bucky begins, moving to hover over Steve so that he has no choice but to see him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… You just surprised me.”

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” Steve says, still trying to avoid Bucky’s gaze. “I shouldn’t have…”

“No,” Bucky interrupts. “Don’t do that! I just…” He reaches up, catching Steve’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Look at me,” Bucky demands, and when Steve finally does, Bucky smiles lovingly at his best friend. “I want to, Steve. I do, but…Are you sure that’s what you really want? I just need to know that you’re sure. That you’re really sure, because…”

“I’m sure,” Steve interrupts without hesitation as he reaches up to touch Bucky’s hair, tucking a loose strand behind his ear. “I’ve honestly never been more sure about anything.”

Bucky nods, agreeing as he leans down to kiss Steve once again. “Anything you want,” he assures a few moments later as their lips part. Bucky begins kissing his way down to Steve’s chest. He pauses to suck softly on each of Steve’s nipples, which causes the blond to hiss in response. Bucky smiles against his skin and flicks his tongue over the one he’d been teasing before moving on down.

Steve bites his lower lip and watches Bucky through half-lidded eyes as he places sucking kisses over Steve’s belly. He’s having a hard time believing that it’s real, that it’s not just a dream. A dream that he’s had a thousand times before. “Buck,” he whispers as Bucky gets increasingly close to where Steve wants to feel him most.

“Shh, baby,” Bucky murmurs as he drags the palm of his hand over Steve’s heated erection. “I got you.” He wraps his fingers around Steve’s cock giving it a few solid strokes before leaning closer to press a tentative kiss to the tip. He’s never done this before, but he is going to do his best to make Steve like it. It can’t be that difficult, he’ll just do the things that he likes himself. Bucky begins by feathering kisses over the entire shaft before dragging his tongue up the underside, getting his real first taste of Steve. He doesn’t hate it. And apparently, neither does Steve. Bucky smirks, hearing Steve practically purring with pleasure. “Like that baby?”

“A fraction more than I like you calling me baby,” Steve whispers hoarsely, upon recognition of how his brain seemed to short circuit whenever Bucky used a pet name for him. He’d wanted that for so long, for Bucky to see him as something more than just Steve.

Bucky glances up at Steve. He’s staring at him, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as he watches. “Yeah?” Bucky asks, a teasing smile on his face. “Tell me, baby; what do you want?”

Steve’s breathing increases as Bucky’s tongue once again swirls over taut skin. “S-suck me… Please… I want you to s-s.…” The moment Bucky’s lips close around him, Steve is gone; consumed by complete and utter ecstasy.

Bucky hums in surprised delight as he takes Steve into his mouth, letting his lips slide slowly down the shaft while working his tongue against the underside. His hands continue to gently massage Steve’s thighs, letting his thumbs brush over his balls every now and then.

Steve tosses one hand above his head while the other moves to the back of Bucky’s head. “Oh God, Buck…” he sighs, pulling slightly at dark strands of hair that’s now fisted in his hand.  

Bucky pulls off of him, sucking hard as he lets the tip fall from his mouth. “I love the way you taste, baby,” he gasps for air before leaning back down for more. He teases Steve’s erection with wet, sloppy kisses once more before taking him back into his mouth. He’s finding that he likes the task at hand more than he thought he might. He moans with elation as Steve’s hips rise a bit, trying to go further into his mouth. It’s encouraging, so he lets his jaws relax, wanting to take him as far as he can.

“Bucky….” Steve pants, feeling the head of his cock bump against the back of Bucky’s throat causing his reflexes to contract around him. “Yes… Please, Bucky... I’m gonna…”

Bucky backs off, slowing his pace and much to Steve’s dismay, pulling him back from the brink. He crawls back up over Steve’s body, kissing and touching as much creamy skin as possible. “Not yet,” he warns, as he reaches his mouth.

The two kiss slowly and Steve’s panting decelerates with each gentle caress of Bucky’s hand. Blindly, Bucky reaches for the bottle of lube that was back on the nightstand. Without breaking their kiss, he maneuvers them so that they’re on their sides, facing each other and Steve’s leg is thrown over Bucky’s hip. “Baby,” Bucky murmurs against Steve’s ear as his lube-covered fingers reach behind him. “I’ve gotta get you ready.”

Steve sighs at the first touch of Bucky’s finger against his puckered hole. “Buck…”

Bucky rests his forehead against Steve’s as he rubs gentle circles over the tight ring, teasing lightly before pressing against it with his middle finger. “Yes, baby, that’s it,” he encourages as Steve hikes his leg higher on Bucky’s hip. “Gonna make you feel so good, Sweetheart.”

Steve pulls him into a kiss again, needing a distraction as Bucky’s finger begins to penetrate. He moans against Bucky’s mouth, feeling Bucky’s finger moving inside him.

“How’s that feel?” Bucky asks, dragging his lips over Steve’s jaw.

“Good,” Steve replies. “You can give me more.”

Bucky hesitates for a split second before carefully adding a second finger. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers.

“You won’t,” Steve assures as their eyes meet. “I won’t break, Bucky.”

Despite Steve’s eagerness and reassurance, Bucky takes his time. He twists his fingers with each forward thrust, scissoring them as he pulls back until finally, he’s working three fingers inside Steve’s body. The whole act along with Steve’s soft whimpering and desperate kisses has Bucky’s cock leaking with anticipation. “How do you want this?” He asks when he’s finally convinced that Steve is ready.    

“I want to be able to see you,” Steve says.

Bucky nods and moves to get them both in position placing a pillow under Steve’s hips as he pushes his legs back towards his chest. Bucky pauses, poised to enter Steve’s body. “Still sure?” He had to ask once more, just to be sure.

“Yes,” Steve replies, reaching up to trace his fingers down Bucky’s chest as he looks directly into his eyes. “I want this. I want you.”

As Bucky begins to push in, Steve grimaces a bit, squeezing his eyes shut. “Oh…”

“Relax, babe,” Bucky coaxes, having felt Steve’s entire body tense beneath him. “You have to relax.”

Steve nods, willing himself to loosen up. His fingers dig into Bucky’s back as Bucky leans forward, covering Steve’s body with his own. With slow, shallow thrust, Bucky works his way inside.

“Almost there, baby.” Bucky whispers hearing Steve’s soft whimpers as he clings to him. The scrape of blunt fingernails over his back sends a thrill down his spine and he bites back the urge to plunge deeper as one of Steve’s hands squeezes his ass. Eventually, he feels Steve begin to relax and he’s able to become completely sheathed in the tight warmth of his body. “You ok?”

Steve nods his head, chewing his lower lip and trying to concentrate on letting the rest of the tension leave his body. The feeling of having Bucky buried to the hilt inside of him is a bit more overwhelming than he expected. He hooks his legs around Bucky, in an attempt to adjust.

Bucky closes his eyes letting his head rest against Steve’s. The tight heat of Steve’s body envelopes him like a glove and it’s wonderful. “You feel like Heaven,” he sighs.

“You’re fucking huge,” Steve wheezes, before barking a weak laugh at the stunned look on Bucky’s face for his choice of words. “Sorry, I just… don’t move for a sec, ok?”

“I’m trying,” Bucky kisses Steve’s sweaty forehead. “Just tell me when, alright?”

Steve places a palm against Bucky’s cheek as his breathing steadies a bit. “Kiss me,” he demands, wanting to focus on something else. He whimpers with satisfaction when Bucky doesn’t hesitate to cover his mouth with his own. Their tongues tangle instantly, rolling over one another, chasing back and forth between their mouths until it becomes too much for Bucky.

“Fuck,” Bucky groans, turning his face away from Steve’s. “Baby, I…”

“Move,” Steve says, his breath hitching. “You can move…Please move…”

Slowly, Bucky begins to slide out only to plunge back in, causing the blonde to cry out and fist the bed sheets in his hands. “God, Stevie… You’re so tight.”

Steve’s eyes are fighting to stay open, his lashes flutter beautifully against his cheeks. His lips part and his tongue darts out to wet his lips as his breath comes in short gasps. “Ungh…” he whines, scrunching his face slightly as Bucky fills him over and over.

Bucky gradually increases his pace as Steve begins to respond brazenly. He watches Steve in the midst of their lovemaking. His face is a mask of pleasure and maybe a little bit of something else that Bucky doesn’t want to pinpoint as pain. “Is it good for you, baby?” he asks, panting as he works his hips back and forth against Steve. “Please tell me it’s good for you…”

“Yes,” Steve breathes, opening his eyes to look up at Bucky as he lifts his hands once again to tangle in Bucky’s hair. “So good, Buck.”

Bucky ducks his head, burying his face in the crook of Steve’s neck as one hand rests on his thigh, and the other cradles him; holding him as their bodies rock together. Steve clings to Bucky, reveling in the feeling of Bucky’s hot breath against his neck as he moves steadily inside him.

Then with just slight tilt to his angle, Bucky hits the spot that makes Steve see stars. The blonde moans loudly at the new sensation suddenly rippling through his body. “Oh God, Buck… Right there….”

A grin twists on Bucky’s lips as he raises up to repeat the same movement, hitting the same sensitive spot. Steve’s toes curl and his heels dig into Bucky’s ass as he throws his arms above his head, grasping for the pillows. “Please, oh please… Don’t stop…”

“No chance,” Bucky assures him as his metal hand hooks beneath Steve’s knee to push his leg back. Bucky begins to thrust harder and faster, enthralled by how shamelessly receptive Steve is being to his every move; his every touch. “Gonna make you come, baby…”

Steve groans knowing that Bucky’s right. He’s so close already so when Bucky’s flesh hand suddenly wraps around his length, his end is inevitable. His hands clutch at the pillows tightly and he groans feeling the telltale signs of the approaching climax with each flick of Bucky’s wrist. “Bucky… I…” Steve gasps, pressing his head back into the pillow as Bucky hit his sweet spot once more.

Bucky feels every second of Steve’s orgasm. His ass grips Bucky’s cock, clutching desperately as his release flows through him. His dick twitches against Bucky’s palm as it paints stripes of white over Steve’s flat stomach. It’s nearly too much for him to bear witness to. “Jesus, Steve,” Bucky whines as his own orgasm begins to ascend.

Steve, although still reeling, watches Bucky come undone with each eager thrust. Grinding deep one last time, Bucky’s body becomes tense, his mouth falls open in silence, and his eyes flutter shut. It’s beautiful and Steve feels him spilling warmth inside of him.

Steve reaches for Bucky’s face; dragging him down and meeting him halfway for a kiss as Bucky begins to collapse. Steve welcomes the weight of his lover as they both fall back onto the mattress, breathing heavily between anxious kisses as their bodies calm down.

Finally, Bucky rolls off of Steve. He sprawls out on the bed but keeps their legs still tangled. “Oh my God.”

“Uh, yeah…” Steve agrees, closing his eyes in pure bliss; unable to think straight, but still able to find Bucky’s hand beside him. He laces his fingers with cool metal ones and sighs. “That was amazing.”

Bucky laughs softly, still panting ever so slightly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Steve’s head lulls to the side to look at Bucky. “Thank you.”

Bucky furrows his brow. “Why are you thanking me? I’m pretty sure I got as much out of that as you did.”

“Just for being you, I guess,” Steve replies with a fond smile.

Bucky then rolls back to his side, inviting Steve to do the same. “Well then, I think I should say thank you too,” he says as they now lie facing each other. “For being you. My best friend, my partner in crime and…uh…other things.”

“I love you, Buck.”

“I know, Stevie. I love you too. Always will.” They share another tender kiss before Bucky drags himself up. “I’ll be right back,” he says as he leaves the room.

When he returns a few minutes later, Steve is still lying exactly where he’d left him, but his eyes are clouded over again just like they had been last night. Bucky swallows thickly as he sits down on the edge of the bed, wondering if they’d maybe taken things way too far. Despite having talked about things earlier, maybe it wasn’t that simple. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

Bucky chews on his lower lip for a second before asking, “Are you ok?”

Steve finally looks up at Bucky who hands him a warm washcloth. He takes it as he sits up too. “Thanks. And I’m fine,” he explains while running the cloth over his soiled skin. “I was just thinking.”

“Are you sure?”

Steve laughs lightheartedly. He finds Bucky’s concern endearing, but also a little ridiculous. “Yes. Whatever is going on in your head right now, stop it. I did everything by my own free will. I am well aware of the consequences that may be a result of my actions, but I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for loving you, Bucky. I never have been.” He explains.

“Ok…” Bucky concedes. “Just… I don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I have no regrets. I won’t lie and say I don’t feel a slight bit of guilt, because I do; but that’s just because I know that I’ve gone against everything I’m supposed to stand for…starting with that whole celibacy part.”

“Yeah, kinda blew that right out of the water, didn’t we?” Bucky laughs softly but he’s also empathetic to Steve’s plight.

“Just a bit,” Steve tosses the washcloth towards the hamper in the corner. “Speaking of which, I know she’s apparently ok with sharing you, but how did you really feel about sharing your girl?”

“I’m only ok with sharing her with you,” Bucky replies. “And if you think about it, I was sharing you with her too.”

“Good point.”

“Ok, so I don’t know about you, but I’m about to starve.” Bucky knows that there is definitely more conversation to be had, but he doesn’t really want to do it on an empty stomach. Plus there was no need to rush the inevitable.

“I could eat.”

“Anything in particular?”

Steve lifts a brow, a look of mischief on his face. “Hmm….”

Bucky groans and moves off the bed in favor of finding some kind of clothing. “Food!”

“Then dessert?”

Bucky’s head shakes in amused disbelief, as a lighthearted smile stretched across his lips. “Ok… who are you and what have you done with the real Steve?”

“He’s on vacation.”

Bucky smirks as he slips a pair of boxers on. “French toast?” he asks as he walks out of the room again, leaving Steve alone on the bed, but also knowing he wouldn’t be too far behind.

Later, you let yourself into the apartment at around three-thirty in the afternoon. The sight that awaits you melts your heart. The TV is on, the box of pastries that you’d brought home the day before is on the coffee table and Bucky & Steve are sleeping on the couch; neither of them wearing a stitch more than their underwear. Quietly, you lay your things down on the table by the door before walking farther into the room. As you get closer, you see Bucky laying on his back with Steve tucked snuggly between him and the couch.

You’re not sure how he managed to get wedged into that small space, but he looks comfortable enough. Steve’s head is resting on Bucky’s chest and his hand is splayed over his stomach, covered by Bucky’s metal one. Bucky’s other hand is still tangled in Steve’s messy hair where he’d undoubtedly been petting in his head as he so often did yours as you lay awake at night talking. You imagine that they had a lot to talk about just as you imagine that you and Bucky now have a lot to talk about.

You sit down on the edge of the coffee table just to watch them for a moment. The thought of what the future may hold scares you a little bit, but if in the end it means sacrificing your own happiness for these two, you’re more than willing. You’d thought about it all day. You love Bucky more than life itself—as terrifying as that thought is—but you’re not a selfish person. You want him to be happy. Isn’t that what loving someone truly is, anyway?

As if he feels your presence, Bucky opens his eyes, a smile lazily curving on his lips as he sees you. “Hey,” he whispers, trying not to disturb Steve.

“Hey,” you reply, hoping your voice sounds more stable than it feels.

“How was your day?”

“It was good,” you assure him. He’d text you several times throughout the day to make sure you were ok. So you know that’s what he’s asking now. “You had a good day as well?”

“Yeah,” he threads his fingers absently through Steve’s hair and the blonde stirs slightly, but doesn’t wake. “We should talk.”

Taking a steady breath, you nod in agreement. “Yeah. We probably should.” As you stand up, Bucky carefully extracts himself from Steve; untangling their limbs and laying him gently on the couch as he gets up.

Bucky follows you to the bedroom and immediately his arms go around you, hugging you from behind. “I love you,” he murmurs into your ear.

You close your eyes, giving into the tears that you’d been fighting since you’d sat down on the coffee table. Your hand moves to his arm that’s draped over your chest, and you turn in his embrace. “I love you, too.”

He holds you close, running his fingers through your hair until you compose yourself. As you pull away, you wipe at your eyes, noticing the concern in his. “Sorry,” you say with a slightly forced laugh. You didn’t mean to start crying but everything just hit you so suddenly.

“No…” He soothes. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He brushes a strand of hair out of your face and smiles. “Are you ok?”

You nod. “Yeah… I’m ok. Just felt a little um…”

“Insecure?” he asks, his tone still soft and calming.

You nod again, realizing that Bucky really can read you like a book. “I don’t know where it came from. I swear I thought I was good.” You wipe at your eyes again, hating the fact that you can’t seem to stop crying. “I am good!” You amend your previous statement, not wanting Bucky to feel any kind of remorse for what ever happened with he and Steve. “I swear, Bucky. I’m ok with this.”

“Baby,” he cups your face in his hands. “Calm down. The first thing that you need to know is that this; everything that has happened since last night? It doesn’t change a thing between you and me.”

You swallow, forcing down whatever the sudden lump in your throat is. “But Steve…”

Bucky guides you to sit on the bed with him. “He’s still my best friend.”

“But you love him,” you argue, “And he loves you.”

Bucky nods in agreement with you. “Always have… and thanks to you, we got a chance to explore that.”

“And that’s it?” You ask, furrowing your brow when he assures you that it is. “I… I don’t understand.”

“Steve is never going to walk away from the church,” Bucky explains. “He made a commitment and that’s that. He’s stubborn and loyal to a fault. Plus, I’m afraid that he’s never going to be fully comfortable with who he is outside of that.”

You sit there, letting what Bucky is saying sink in. “That’s so sad,” you say.

“In a way, but don’t be fooled. Steve does love what he does. He’s always been a loving and giving person. At least he’s fulfilling a purpose. The lifestyle suits him, honestly. Of course, now he can also have the assurance that his love wasn’t as one-sided as he always thought.”

“What about you, Buck?”

“What about me?” He asks, reaching up to touch your cheek once again.

“You’re in love with him, too…”

“But I chose you.” Bucky’s blue eyes sparkle with sincerity as he brushes a thumb across your bottom lip. “I chose you, doll.”

With a shuddering breath, you realize what he means. A year ago, when he had the choice to stay with the program—with Steve, or to go astray and be with you; he chose you. Before you can even ask, he speaks.

“I was sure then, and I’m sure now.” He leans in, smiling as his mouth covers yours. His kiss is tender and sweet, making all your doubts disappear. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close as it deepens.

Finally, moments later, when you pull away, you rest your forehead against his. Your breathing is erratic and your whole body feels like it’s trembling, but from the inside. “I love you so much, Bucky.”

“I know,” he replies. “I love you too, darlin. Now more than ever.” He moves to lay back on the bed, resting against the mountain of pillows that you insist on keeping. “C’mere.”

You don’t hesitate to snuggle into his arms, and he smiles at you. You know this is home; where you belong, no matter what. It feels warm, it feels safe. You smile too, resting your cheek against his bare chest.

“So can I ask how you knew?”

You chuckle softly at Bucky inquisitive nature while letting your fingertips trace through the thin dusting of hair on his torso. “Well, Steve was easy to figure out. I mean, after he told me that he’d fallen in love with someone special a long time ago. I started noticing little things like the way he looked at you, the way he talked about you—so I asked.”

“You asked?” Bucky’s eyes grow wide with what you can only interpret as astonishment.

“Yeah. The day of the reunion; while we were at the swimming hole.”

“And he actually told you?”

“Yep.”

“Wow.”

“What was he gonna do? Lie?”

“I probably would have,” Bucky says with a laugh.

“You’d have been a terrible priest, Father Barnes,” you tease. “But seriously, I think in a way it was cathartic for him to get it off his chest. He’s loved you for a long time. It can’t be easy keeping that secret—that part of you hidden away.”

“I know, and it’s not. There’s a measurable amount of fear and anxiety that comes with keeping something like that bottled up.”

“How long have you kept it?”

“Honestly, probably since the day I met him. I’m sure it was different then and that over time it grew into something more as we got older, but he’s always been special.”

You look up, meeting Bucky’s eyes that are full of remembrance, and you smile warmly at him. “Stupid boys.”

He rolls his eyes at you, making light of the situation. “Ok miss know-it-all, how did you figure me out?”

“You weren’t as obvious, at least not at first. But once I knew about Steve, there were things that became clearer.”

“Like?” Bucky wonders aloud as his fingers trace up and down your arm, tickling your skin.

“Like how crazy protective you are of him.”

“You mean Katrina?”

“Yeah.”

“She only wants to…”

“I know,” you say with a soft laugh, “and this is what I mean. You’re so protective over him especially when it comes to her. It’s cute,” you assure him. “But it’s also almost like you’re jealous, to be honest.”

Bucky sighs, unable to deny that. “I just didn’t want to see him being used like that. Especially with my cousin; even if he would have been willing.”

You grin, deciding not to say anything further on that subject. “And then there’s the way you do things for him. You take care of him.” You snuggle further into him. “Like you take care of me.”

A warm smile plays on his lips. “Speaking of taking care of you,” he begins. “You look exhausted.”

Heaving a heavy sigh, you agree. “I kinda feel exhausted.”

Bucky turns slightly so that he’s facing you now and your head is cradled by his arm. He pulls your leg over his hip, bringing you closer. “I think it’s been a pretty emotional day for all of us.”

“Yeah. Maybe a nap is in order,” you say with a yawn. “Then we can order in?”

“Sounds good.” He presses a kiss to your temple and rests his chin against your head as your cheek presses against his chest.

“G’night,” you mumble.

He chuckles. “Good night, love,” he says as he pulls the comforter over both of you.

You’ve barely had time to doze off when you feel the bed dip and another warm body settles in behind you. You sigh contentedly as Steve spoons up against you, leaving a soft kiss against your neck as he nestles his face into the crook. You feel Bucky’s arm slide protectively around both of you and you smile before finally giving into your own exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments/Feedback = Much appreciation!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

When you awake from your nap, Bucky is gone, but Steve’s arms are still around you as he snores softly behind you. The bedroom door is open, and you can see the light from the bathroom flooding the otherwise dark hallway. A few moments pass before Bucky returns, a towel around his waist and another being dragged over his hair. He turns a lamp on instead of the overhead light, obviously not wanting to disturb you as he gets dressed. He’s halfway done when he finally notices that you’re awake.

“Hey,” he says, his voice still a whisper so as not to disturb Steve as well. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” you reply in an equally soft voice. “Where you going?”

“To get food. I thought maybe we could do Italian tonight.”

“Ok. Extra breadsticks, yeah?”

“Always,” he says with a grin as he carefully puts a knee on the bed to lean over and kiss you. “I’ll be back.”

As Bucky pulls away, Steve stirs, stretching against your back. You feel a certain hardness as he brushes against your ass, and you can’t stifle a giggle.

“Sh-up…” He mumbles, burying his face deeper in the crook of your neck.

“Ok…” Bucky says with a laugh. “You two don’t have too much fun while I’m gone. But then again… Don’t _not_ have fun.”

That’s when Steve lifts his head for the first time, realizing that Bucky is not in bed. “Where you going?”

“Food. I’ll be back,” Bucky explains as he leaves the room.

“Why didn’t he just have it delivered?”

“Because Bucky is indecisive when it comes to take-out.”

“True,” Steve agrees. “That he is.”

You shift, turning around in Steve’s arms to face him. “So… How are you doing?”

“Good.” A bright smile breaks out and his cheeks flush as you lift a brow. “Ok. I’m more than good.” He reaches up to brush his fingers over your cheek. “Thank you.”

You nod, knowing that even though you never expected his gratitude, he needs to express it anyway. “This morning, at work. I started overthinking things. I was afraid that I pushed things a little too far last night.”

“I’m glad you did,” He admits.

You slide your arm under your pillow for a more comfortable position as you look into his eyes of ocean blue. “So now what?”

“So now, I think I’m going to go take a shower.”

You involuntarily roll your eyes at his answer. “No, I mean with your life. What will happen now?”

He sighs heavily, resting his head on his own arm. “I’ll go back to New York as planned. I’ll have to seek penance, of course.”

“Are you sorry? I mean, really? Does it negate the whole idea of confession if you’re not?”

“I’m sorry that I’m weak and that I couldn’t adhere to my own vows. However, like I already told Bucky, I will never apologize for my feelings.”

“So why stay with it,” you ask. “Doesn’t it feel a bit hypocritical to you?”

“Because of what the Church teaches about homosexual relations?” He waits for your response and when you nod in affirmation, he continues. “I’ve never believed that it’s a choice, so no… I personally don’t feel that way. Part of my job is to give guidance to those trying to find their way, and I will never condemn someone for loving who or how they love.”

“Are you afraid?” You ask curiously. “Of what might happen.”

“A little,” he says with a heavy sigh. “Confession of sin or misconduct is never easy, but this time, there could be dire consequences.”

“Excommunication?” You ask, remembering what Bucky had told Katrina.

“It’s possible, but not likely,” Steve explains. “I mean, that’s the point of repenting—admitting that you went astray and asking for forgiveness. Excommunication usually only happens whenever it’s a more serious situation; for instance, a long-term relationship that hasn’t ended and has no intentions of ending, or perhaps a child is born as a result of a forbidden relationship.”

“So, this is definitely a one-time deal?”

“I think it’s best that everything goes back to the way it was once I go back to New York.”

“And until then?”

“I’m just going to enjoy the rest of my vacation with my favorite people, and not think too much.”

“Sounds like you’ve been thinking about it a lot though.”

“Honestly, I haven’t. I’ve been fighting an impossible battle in my head since you were in New York last year. Now I’m just trying to push it all out of my mind and just go with it for the rest of the week.”

You furrow your brow. “You have? Since New York?”

“Yeah…”

“May I ask why exactly? I mean what’s the significance?”

“Uh… Well,” Steve’s cheeks flush as he glances down for a moment before continuing. “I kind of saw you and Bucky…”

“Saw us?” You ask, trying to wrack your brain for clues to what he’s referring to.

“Yeah. In the bedroom… I got home early and well, neither of you had bothered to shut the door.”

Your eyes grow wide as you remember the only time you and Bucky had sex while you were in New York. “Oh God… You saw that?”

“Only for a brief second,” Steve admits, his cheeks flushing once again. “But the image was burned in my mind for a long time. You know, I nearly fell over a pile of boxes in the hallway as I was trying to get away.”

“I’m so sorry!” You feel kind of mortified at the memory of having heard a crash in the hallway just as you and Bucky had finished. It never even crossed your mind that Steve may have seen what was going on. It definitely explains his nervous behavior when you found him in the kitchen.

Steve snorts out a laugh. “You should be. Desecrating the holy garb worn by men of God in such a manner!”

You groan. “But Bucky looked so hot in it.”

“Doesn’t make it right, sweetheart.”

“Bucky wasn’t on board for it either,” you grumble. “At least not until I promised to get on my knees and repent.”

“Ok…” Steve sits up, sliding out from under the covers. “I think I’m going to go get that shower now.”

“Alright,” you say, laughing at his abrupt departure and grabbing for the pillow that he’d been laying on. You pull it to you, wrapping your arms around it as you watch him walk towards the door, his perfect ass swaying with each step. It should be a crime for anyone to have that kind of asset let alone a freakin’ priest.

Once he’s halfway across the room, he stops to look back at you. “Um… would you like to join me?”

Your eyebrows arch and a mischievous smile curls on your lips. That’s an invitation you’d be hard pressed to turn down. Steve’s eyes twinkle when he sees you scrambling to get out from under the covers. He heads on out of the room and you begin shedding your clothes as you hurry to follow.

When you reach the bathroom, he’s already turned on the shower and is stripping out of his boxer briefs. He winks at you as he steps into the shower, leaving the door open for you to join him.

Good Lord, you think as you hurriedly unhook your bra and slip you panties off. You close the shower door behind you as you join Steve. He’s already standing under the hot spray with his back towards you. You pause for a moment to admire the view. Water is cascading over his muscles like a shallow waterfall, making its way over jagged rocks. It’s breathtaking. Your eyes follow the rivulets from his shoulders to his ass. That ass… So perfect, so… You step forward, placing both hands firmly on it as you lean into him, pressing a kiss right between his shoulder blades. “My God, Steve. Your ass is…” you don’t have the word to describe it, so you just moan in delight as your hands squeeze at the fleshy globes.

He’s laughing as he turns around, moving you a step back away from the spray as your arms circle his waist. “Um… thanks?”

“You’re quite welcome,” you say, tilting your head up to accept the kiss that he’s already leaning down for. His lips are soft, plump, and gentle as he kisses you. His hands move to your sides, holding you steady as you lift your arms to wrap around his neck. You can’t help whimpering quietly when he pushes his tongue between your parted lips. He explores languidly, taking his time to taste you again. You slide your hands up, pushing your fingers through his wet hair, encouraging him to take whatever he wants.

His mouth moves from yours to your jaw where he continues leave a line of kisses to your ear. He whispers your name before biting at your earlobe. Taking a step back, he smiles and reaches for the body wash that’s sitting on the shelf behind you.

“So, what exactly is this?” You ask, meaning the situation with you and him, while he pours some of the lavender scented liquid onto his palm.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly, offering you the bottle next. “I never expected to want you as much as I do. But I do… And also, I feel like I can trust you.”

His comment gives you a sense of pride. He can. He can trust you with anything, and you tell him as much while pouring some bodywash on your hand as well. He only smiles again, and there is a hint of something in his eyes that you can’t quite place. You start to ask him about it, but he kisses you silent. The way Steve kisses you is similar to the way Bucky kisses you, both are sweet and gentle, but there’s something even softer in the way Steve’s mouth moves against yours. Perhaps its just because he knows that whatever is happening between the two of you; or the three of you, really; can never be repeated once this week is over.

When he pulls away from your lips this time, his soap-filled hands begin to move over you. He starts with your shoulders, gently stroking your skin. You smile at each other as you also begin to run soapy fingers over his solid chest.

The two of you spend the next while washing each other’s body. You’re not sure which is turning you on more, the fact that you’re finally getting to leisurely explore and arouse every inch of Steve’s gorgeous body or maybe it’s his smooth caress as he lathers you up.

“Mmm,” You hum feeling his hands cup your ass—not for the first time. “You’re such an ass man.”

He smirks, looking down at you without even the slightest bit of denial as he moves you both under the shower head. You sigh as the warm water washes away the soap from your body aided by Steve’s hands which are continuing to roam. He spends extra time fondling your breast, teasing your nipples, manipulating them into hard peaks as you moan approvingly and push your chest further into his touch. Maybe he knows you have a thing about that.

Your own hand travels from his shoulder to his stomach where your fingers sift through the soft patch of hair. You glance up, catching his eyes as your hand slides farther down to wrap easily around his growing erection. “Someone is getting excited,” you purr.

Steve’s eyes darken and he moves again, forcing you to step backwards until you’re against the tiled wall of your shower. “Been neglected for way too long,” he explains in a gruff, lust-filled voice before his mouth covers yours once more.

Your soft whimper is muffled by his kiss, but your hand doesn’t falter as you continue to stroke his cock. His left hand finds its way between your thighs. “Steve,” you breathe hotly as his mouth leaves yours, trailing soft kisses until he reaches your neck. His lips feel warm against your already heated skin. He sucks tenderly, nipping in various spots only to soothe with a lap of his velvet tongue.

Lifting one leg, you wrap it around his calf trying to give him better access sending a wordless plea for more. You feel him smile against your skin as he moves his mouth over your shoulder.

Two fingers plunge deep into your folds making you cry out with satisfaction. He’s no newbie at this, that’s for certain. The palm of his hand brushes over your clit with each thrust, causing your body tremble at the sensations. He knows exactly what to do and how to turn you on. Even if he has been out of the game for a while, he can still play _you_ like a fiddle.

 “So wet, babygirl,” he murmurs while pumping his fingers slowly into you. “So responsive…. So sexy….” 

Memories from the previous night invade your thoughts as his fingers work their magic on you; and you remember him fucking you. You remember how good he felt pounding into you without restraint. Your walls clench around his fingers and you moan at the thought of having him again.

“Tell me you want me,” he growls against your ear.

“I want you!” You reply almost instantly. “I want you, Steve…. Please, I need to feel this long, beautiful cock deep inside me.” You emphasize that with a firm tug on his dick.

“Yeah?” he asks, shoving his fingers deeper and curling them slightly.

“Yes…” You roll your hips, grinding down on his fingers, begging him for more. “Please, Stevie….”

He chuckles as his fingers leave your body and he steps closer. Your arms wrap around his neck as his arm hooks under your right thigh to lift it up. You bite your lip in anticipation as your leg wraps around his hip. He smirks as if amused by your neediness, but he doesn’t comment on that. Instead, he tells you how beautiful you are and how he can’t help wanting you as he moves his other hand to grasp his erection, aligning it with your entrance.

Your pussy quivers with excitement, as he teases you with just the head of his cock at your opening. When does he finally begin to slide into you, it’s with a single, slow drive that he fills you. A long, blissful sigh can be heard as you open to take his length. “Yes… Yes…” you coo, letting your head fall back against the shower wall.

“You feel so good,” Steve laments against your ear as he presses his forehead against the wall next to yours, taking a moment to get accustomed to being surrounded by your heat. Before he moves, he lifts your other leg, until you’re fully wrapped around him. You feel his hands on your ass, holding you up. It’s so invigorating.

He moves slowly, holding you close as his hips rock against you. It’s a far cry from the way he took you the night before, but it’s good. So good. The slow burn you feel churning in your belly as he moves inside you is glorious. “Steve…” you whimper his name and he turns his head to kiss you. Your fingers thread through his blond hair which makes him moan softly into your mouth. It’s a sweet sound and your heart flutters with adoration, because yes, you do adore this man. He’s so strong in so many ways, but also so fragile. You want nothing more than to make him feel good—at least while you can.

After what seems like hours of slow torture, his thrust become more hurried, bringing you quickly to the edge. His hold tightens on your ass and you feel his fingers digging into your flesh as your name rolls off his tongue; low and earnest. Your walls tighten around him, massaging his length with tiny contractions as you come with a shuddering cry. Steve slows his movement, reverting back to that slow torture as you ride out your release. “That felt amazing, sweetheart,” he pants against your neck.

“Yeah?” You ask, cupping his face in your hands. “You like feeling this?” You clench down around him for emphasis and he hisses in delight. As you kiss him again, his hips begin to move faster; his thrust harder, driving his cock deeper. A gasp escapes you forcing you to break away from his lips as pure pleasure takes over. Steve hits your spot again and again. It doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to begin coiling. “Steve… Yes!” You whine. “Fuck…. Just like that baby.”

He snarls against your neck, obviously getting more turned on by your words. “I’m so close,” he warns, his voice broken from the intense threat of release.

“Me too, baby… Me too…” You encourage him to move faster and harder, and when he does, it only takes a few solid strokes of his cock to get you there. Your body begins to quake, and you feel yourself clenching around Steve again, soaking his length as you come again.

“Fuck! Shit…” He growls, as your walls milk his cock. “I’m coming… Fuck, I’m coming baby…” He shudders and his body goes ridged for a bit as he spills his load deep inside you.

You start to giggle as the two of you stand there, bodies still shaking. Neither of you have moved even an inch to untangle yourself from the other even after your breathing returns to normal. “Oh my God,” you say, letting your head rest against the wall. “You’re going to have a lot of confessing to do, Father Steve.”

“Don’t” he sighs heavily while pressing his forehead against yours. “Please don’t.”

“Hey,” you cup his face in your hands and look into his eyes. “I’m sorry…I wasn’t….”

He smiles warmly. “It’s ok. I just don’t want to think about it. That’s all.”

You nod, leaning into kiss him as he finally sets you back on your feet. “Guess we should actually get cleaned up now, huh?”

When you get out of the shower, Steve goes to his room to get his clothes while you go towards the kitchen first. You need a drink before anything else.

Bucky is already in the kitchen, having returned from getting dinner. He looks up from where he’s setting the table. His eyes rake over your body, wrapped only in a towel and he smirks. “Enjoy your shower?”

“Probably a little more than I should have,” you reply solemnly as you get a bottle of water from the fridge. The moment you saw Bucky, a feeling of remorse washed over you and now you feel incredibly guilty for what you and Steve had just done without him there. Even though he technically gave you permission, you still feel like you’ve somehow betrayed him.

Smiling warmly, Bucky moves towards you. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you back against his chest. “Don’t feel guilty,” he says as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking.

“How do you do that?” You ask. “How do you know exactly what’s going on in my head all the time?”

He chuckles and plants a soft kiss on your shoulder. “The same way you know what’s going on with me.”

“I love you, Buck.”

“I know.”

“This thing with Steve… for me, it’s just…”

“Fun? Exciting? Hot?” He supplies a string of adjectives which makes you laugh. “Relax doll. I’m not worried.” He presses a kiss to your temple. “You don’t have to justify your feelings, whatever they may be.”

You turn around, remaining in his arms. “But…”

“I love you both,” Bucky interrupts. “You know that. I’m ok if the two of you wanna get to know each other a little better.”

You lay your head on Bucky’s shoulder. “I do care about him, you know.”

“Good,” Bucky’s hands rub up and down your arms. “I love you even more for accepting him into your life and for being so supportive of our now slightly unconventional friendship.”

“Slightly?” You can’t help chuckling at his description of his and Steve’s relationship.

 Steve then joins you in the kitchen, smiling when he sees the two of you standing in each other’s embrace. “So glad you’re back. I’m starving,” he says as he goes over to the counter where Bucky had set the bags of take-out. “I thought you were getting Italian.”

You pull out of Bucky’s embrace to look at the food as well, and Bucky only shrugs. “I changed my mind. Got a craving for egg rolls and lo mein.”

“Told you he was fickle.”

Steve snorts at your comment, already starting to take the containers out of the bags. “Chopsticks?”

“In the bag with the moo shu pork.” Bucky points out as he joins you at the counter.

“I’m going to go put some clothes on,” you say, deciding to leave the dinner preparation to the guys. You yelp, feeling the flesh of Bucky’s hand on your ass as he swats it playfully. You glare at him, but it breaks into a smile as he tells you that neither of them would object if you didn’t. Shaking your head, you ignore him and leave anyway.

You decide not to bother with more than pajamas, so you slip on a pair of shorts and your favorite green cami.  You also take a moment to pull your hair up into a messy bun before rejoining the guys in the kitchen. When you get to the doorway, you pause. They’re laughing over mouthfuls of lo mein and pork. The smile on Bucky’s face is genuine and the atmosphere is light. You breathe a sigh of relief as you continue into the kitchen, taking a seat next to your boyfriend who winks at you as he begins filling your glass with red wine. “Thanks.”

Steve hands you the container filled with fried rice because you prefer that over noodles. It makes you smile, knowing that Steve is still picking up on the little things you like. It’s endearing. “So, what were you guys laughing at when I came in?”

“Coney Island,” Bucky replies.

You lift a brow, silently asking them what was so funny about Coney Island.

“Not so much Coney Island itself, but the Cyclone,” Steve explains. “When we first went to New York, Coney was one of the first places we decided to visit. Bucky insisted that we ride the roller coaster.”

You’re not surprised. Bucky was a fiend when it came to thrill rides. You’d managed to visit a couple of amusement parks together in the last year, and he was all about the ones that make you lose your dinner. “That’s not shocking,” you say while dipping some of the rice onto your plate.

“Essentially, I made him do it,” Bucky explains. “He got so sick.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too funny,” you conclude. Motion sickness is the worst.

“No,” Bucky agrees. “I actually felt bad about that part. The funny thing was that he tried to get me back later, once he’d conquered his issues with motion sickness that is.”

“Wristbands,” Steve interjects. “Best invention ever.”

“So how did you try to get him back?”

“Ziplining in upstate New York,” Steve says with a shrug. “Should have known he’d love it though.”

You laugh and Bucky shrugs, as he takes a bite of his eggroll. “So, I want to hear about more of your adventures in New York.” You are curious, and honestly, the more you learn about them the more you understand their whole relationship and its dynamics.

They don’t disappoint. It’s like opening flood gates. Throughout the rest of dinner, they throw out story after story, telling you about all the places that you’re going to have to visit someday.  You’re almost sad when dinner is over, but you’re comforted by the knowledge that there are still more stories left for another day.

After everything is cleaned up, you gather in the living room to watch a movie. However, none of you make it through the whole thing. The credits are rolling by the time you feel Bucky move from behind you. You barely open your eyes before he scoops you up in his arms. “Wha…”

“Come on, sleeping beauty. There’s a bed calling your name.” You smile, deciding not to object as he carries you back to your bedroom. He lays you down gently on your side of the bed, pulling the blankets up over you. “I’ll be right back,” he says as he places a kiss on your forehead. “I don’t think Steve will enjoy sleeping in the armchair all night.”

You nod allowing yourself to snuggle down into the bed. Part of you wonders if Steve might join you and Bucky or if he’ll actually go back to his bedroom. You wouldn’t object to him joining you, but then there is a part of you that wants some alone time with Bucky. Even if it is while sleeping.

A couple of minutes later, you hear voices out in the hallway, so you open your eyes. You see both men standing next to Steve’s bedroom door. They’re talking and smiling. You watch them curiously and smile when Bucky turns to leave and Steve grabs his metal hand, forcing him to look back. Despite the fact that Steve is chewing on his lower lip—a telltale sign that he’s nervous or wants to ask something that he’s unsure of asking—Bucky gets it. He steps back towards Steve, gently cupping his face in his hands.

They share a short, but affectionate kiss and you hear their whispered goodnights as Steve finally slips into his room closing the door softly behind him. Bucky stares at the closed door for a second before he heads towards the bathroom.

A short while later, you feel Bucky sliding into bed behind you, and you’re pulled from the sleep that had once again consumed you as you waited for his return. With a sigh, you turn over until you’re facing your boyfriend. “Goodnight, love,” he whispers as he leans forward to kiss your lips.

You sigh into his kiss, tasting the minty freshness of his toothpaste. “Goodnight, Bucky.” You cuddle closer to his nearly naked body, reveling in the fact that he prefers sleeping only in his underwear; if that, sometimes. His arms wrap around you and your legs tangle with his. It’s your favorite way to fall asleep. It’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments and feedback are appreciated!


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